Chapter 37: You Are My Eagle (7)
Xiao Lie still remembered that day, Kasyari didn't say a word, she stared at him steadily, her eyes filled with an inexplicable sorrow. They were still looking at each other like before, but only seeing each other, yet the atmosphere that day was clearly off.
Kasari smiled at Xiao Lie, although it was just a smile, Xiao Lie saw that the smile was quite forced.
"Let me sing you a song," she said.
Have you been to Mount Nakiska?
Wild thyme, mouse tail grass, hyssop and pennyroyal
Give my regards to a brother of mine over there
Tell him I loved him.
I want to make him a suit.
Deep in the green forest beside the mountain ridge
Chasing rabbits on the brown mountain with snow-capped peaks.
Clothes don't need sewing, no needle and thread are needed.
The big mountain is the carpet and bed sheet of the mountain's son
He is my true love.
Asleep in a deep sleep, unaware of the sound of explosions calling out
Ask him to find a place for me
From a few small grass leaves beside a small hill
Droplets of silver tears washed over the tomb
Between the snowy mountains and white clouds,
The soldier wiped his gun clean.
He is my true love.
People use a leather sickle to harvest orchids.
There were countless cattle and sheep in the mountains.
Boom! Scarlet bullets were screaming wildly
The generals ordered their soldiers to slaughter.
A bundle of harvested lavender
Guarding for a long-forgotten reason
He is my true love.
Xiao Lie had heard this song more than once, although Kasha sang it in Vietnamese, but he had already asked her to translate the lyrics into Chinese and told him that she only hummed for him. The melody was elegant and beautiful, yet heartbreaking, as if a woman was calling out to her loved one from afar. Fate always plays tricks on people, when they should meet, they can't see each other, when they should miss each other, there is no thought of missing each other, when they can meet, the person is already gone, and when they can do everything for her, youth is already gone. Everything is calm, but also unable to adapt.
"Do you remember?" Kasha asked as she walked up to Xiao Lie.
Xiao Lie nodded slightly.
"I'll sing for you alone, forget me." Kasha said softly.
Although there was no language, Xiao Lie's heart surged with a wave of ripples, and he even dared not look directly at her desolate eyes.
"I'm getting married, it's a promise I made since childhood, I have no way to resist, my mother also needs someone to take care of her, she also wants to settle down, and I'm afraid to go back to the grassland, because I will think of you, I will miss you. Do you know?"
Xiao Lie stood upright on the spot, with sunlight shining on him, his armed belt clean and tidy. He knew that if he were to take her away now, she would follow him without hesitation, no matter where they went. But he was a soldier, but he also had his mother's will, but he also had Xu Jiadai's expectations.
Young Xiao Lie may not understand that love is hard to come by, and it's a great blessing for someone to spend their life with a woman who truly loves them. However, he has many responsibilities beyond his duties, which are enough to make him lose the right to love.
Xiao Lie stood upright there, Kassari's lips lightly printed on his. Xiao Lie felt a softness, then it disappeared.
"You're my eagle." She looked at him and said softly.
When he came to his senses, Kasha was already sitting on her horse, then looked at him and turned away.
If time could be turned into a slow-motion video, in that frame, Xiao Lie would see Kasha Li turning around on horseback, her eyes filled with disappointment, sadness, longing and despair. Perhaps she had already known in her heart that this time was definitely the last time.
As the hoofbeats faded away, Xiao Lie's ears gradually picked up Kasha Li's humming:
Have you been to Mount Nakiska?
Wild thyme, mouse tail grass, hyssop and pennyroyal
Give my regards to a brother over there
Tell him I loved him.
I want to make him a suit.
Deep in the green forest beside the mountain ridge
Chasing rabbits on the brown mountain with snow-capped peaks.
Clothes don't need sewing, no needle and thread needed.
The big mountain is the carpet and bed sheet of the mountain's son
He is my true love.
Sound asleep, unaware of the explosions calling out
Ask him to find a place for me
From a few small grass leaves beside a small hill
Droplets of silver tears washed over the tomb
……
Xiao Lie saw a big black spot in the sky, it was an eagle, flying towards the direction where Kasha Li had left.
Xiao Lie returned to the dormitory without saying a word, sitting in a daze until dinner time. He couldn't eat much and when washing dishes, a fork suddenly fell into the drain. He squatted down, trying to pick it up, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't lift it. A surge of nameless anger and heartache rose to his chest, as if what had fallen wasn't just a fork, but something he loved dearly. Now, between him and that beloved thing was an iron grate that he couldn't open. The cold water and filth on the grate got all over his hands.
"It's okay if it falls, nothing big deal, if it falls then it falls, there are still some in the cafeteria." Tang Fei said seeing Xiao Lie's expression.
Xiao Lie suddenly stood up, staring at Tang Fei with a fierce gaze, his expression as if he had an irreconcilable feud with him.
"It's just a fork." Tang Fei said, being stared at and feeling somewhat bewildered.
Xiao Lie took a deep breath, then rinsed the basin with water and put it on the table before walking into the dormitory.
The next day, Xiao Lie, who was usually very diligent, asked Wei Qidong for a leave of absence, saying he wanted to go to the town to buy some local specialties to send back home. Although Xiao Lie's request for leave was sudden, Wei Qidong approved it readily.
After leaving the base, Xiao Lie didn't wait for a car and ran towards the nearest herdsman's house. He then asked to borrow a horse from him. The Uyghur old man took one look at Xiao Lie's military uniform and readily handed over their best horse into his hands.
In the past, Kasha had taught him how to ride a horse once, so although it was a bit unfamiliar, he wasn't too nervous. He remembered the direction of the grasslands and knew that if Kasha wanted to leave, she would definitely take this road. Last night, he thought about it all night and knew that he and she were fundamentally impossible, but if he didn't want to regret it, he could only see her one last time, secretly see her one last time. Although he was doing this, violating the team's rules, what else could he do?
Some things, because of fear, are left undone; once missed, heaven will never again offer the opportunity.
She finally appeared, and it was a wedding procession. Xiao Lie forgot how many people were in the procession, forgot what dowry they had brought, forgot whether she could see him or knew of his existence. But among that group, he caught sight of her at once.
She was wearing a bright red robe, with a small red sticky hat on her head, and the braid that had been combed into a long waterfall-like hair, under the thin and dense double eyebrows were a pair of bright eyes, the beautiful face made the distant snow-capped mountains lose their color. She sat so straight on horseback, with a stubborn little mouth that made her look like she was carrying a heavy burden. In the crowd, she was so dazzling, as if she wanted to make people recognize her at a glance.
Xiao Ran was alone, hiding there, and no one could find him. All his hopes were shattered as he watched her leave. What else could he do? If time could be allocated differently, rather than the increasingly confusing future ahead, being apart would only lead to harm. The sweetness was short-lived, perhaps just a one-night hug and initial excitement, followed by calmness and despair - this wasn't what either of them wanted. Perhaps the final way out was to forget and then be at peace. He recalled his dream from last night, where he saw a riverbank, with the grassland where they first met on the other side. But there was no snow then, just lush greenery full of life. He stood alone on the opposite bank, watching the cattle and sheep, the sparkling snowy mountains, and Kasha Li working hard to herd the sheep. It seemed like a one-way glass separated them - he could see her, but she couldn't see him. He spoke to her, saying:
"Dear Kasha, our emotions came so swiftly, so fully, and with such heart-pounding excitement that from the very beginning they opened all the doors of our hearts, just like the sky lighting up all the stars - countless, infinite. But if time allowed me to allocate it myself, I would have left, completed those things, and then met you again, day by day, minute by minute, second by second, without wasting any time. If life is like a lamp that lights up one palm at a time, let us hold on to patience and hope, lighting up one palm at a time, slowly, steadily, until we can be together forever, hand in hand, growing old together. Walking into old age, walking into death, rather than having your shadow become the countless stars in the sky, fading away, darkening, extinguishing, cooling down. What a cruel fate this is, not just for me, but for you too. Perhaps I should say that I don't think our emotions failed - it's my life that failed. Because I know that all these things that are about to be lost, destroyed, and plunged into darkness are what I must face and endure in my life. I don't know when love is supposed to appear at the right time; we loved each other, but in the end, we can only leave each other, reminiscing. I'm already unable to face you, or rather, unable to face the love that will reappear. I cannot fall in love again, so as not to hurt myself, and not to hurt others."
If time can be lengthened or shortened, when in love, time flies by quickly, but when apart, one minute can feel like a year. And now? Now looking at her figure? Xiao Lie found that time was shortened by heaven without reason, and in that instant, he even imagined if he didn't have all the shackles on his body, he would be willing to become a thief and steal her back. But now, he's here, and he can no longer control his tear glands, his eyes burning hot.
It's windy.
It's windy.
The wind blew down from the mountain and passed by his side, blowing in the direction of Kassari.
Breeze, please bring my body temperature to blow towards my beloved girl.
Breeze, please pass through my lips, take my kiss and brush against her face.
Said not to meet again, but can't stop thinking of you.
I said I didn't want to think about it, but I wanted to see you all the time.
When a gust of wind carrying the chill of snow-capped mountains blew across the horse team, Kasha's lips felt a coldness as if blown by the wind. She felt as though a pair of gentle and heartbroken eyes were gazing at her. She turned around, and on the mountain in front of her, some tender grass was vaguely growing; nothing else was there. Yet she still firmly believed that there was a pair of eyes, someone gazing at her, and that gaze made her feel warmth.
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