Chapter Thirty-Two: Graduation (I)

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  "I killed them. I didn't think it would be like this." Just one sentence, and Kim Ji-hoon's tears flowed down, his voice becoming hoarse: "I killed them with my own hands, I caused it, I..."

  "This is war." I interrupted him: "We are soldiers, we are warriors, and on the battlefield we should eliminate our enemies!"

  "What right? What authority? We are fake soldiers!"

  I let out a sigh: "It's not about why, we don't have any rights, we're just soldiers! On the battlefield, there are only comrades and enemies. They want to survive, we want to survive too, so we can only eliminate each other! That's the only way to have the right to live. And they're drug dealers, they won't feel guilty for killing people. A whole car of heroin, do you know how many lives you've indirectly saved? Police won't feel guilty for shooting and killing bad guys, neither will we."

  “……”

  Are you afraid?

  "Afraid? No, I..."

  "Are you afraid of the blood, 16?" I interrupted him again: "Look at the weapon in your hand, as long as you have it, you are God now! Your own path, walk on your own, look at this dark world! Do you want to live with guilt and fear for the rest of your life? It's not worth it, nor is it necessary. Enjoy your current life, let your enemies fear you! Believe that one day, you might like this feeling."

  Kim Ji-joon was no longer trembling with tears, his eyes drifting aimlessly. I knew my words had taken effect. He had struggled out of the whirlpool and was now wrestling with himself, with morality, and so on. After a long time, Kim Ji-joon finally stared at me intently and muttered: "You... have you already grown accustomed to this feeling?"

  "I don't know, I think... I've gotten used to it!"

  Kim Ji-joon hung his head and said no more.

  Just as I was thinking of saying something else, the instructor's voice suddenly came from the headphones: "Number 16, Number 17, mission accomplished, board the plane and return to base immediately."

  I shouted loudly as I pulled Kim Jee-joon onto a black hawk helicopter that had already started, flying directly to the base. Let's just hand this kid over to the instructor anyway! He must have more ways than me.

  As soon as I got off the plane, I immediately dragged Kim Jiwon to sprint to the training ground. Along the way, it was almost like dragging him forward. When we arrived, the instructor was already standing there. At attention and salute, the instructor's face was still as cold as before, without any expression. From the time I came here until now, half a year has passed, but I haven't seen him smile once.

  The instructor looked us up and down, took out two soldier cards, and said: "Number 16, Number 17, graduation mission completed, approved for graduation. These are your two soldier cards, representing your identity in the Wolf Mercenary Corps. Keep them well!"

  I couldn't help but take the dog tag in front of me and examine it carefully. The dog tag was very beautiful, with a small iron chain hanging two aluminum plates. The first one had an embossed wolf head, similar to the tattoo on Hei Xiong's knife body, and below it was engraved "Wolf Mercenary Group" in English. The second aluminum plate had a string of characters: Name: No. 17, Blood Type: A, Unit: Wolf Mercenary Group Third Squadron, Number: LC372924.

  Cool! I let out a low cry, looking at the soldier's badge shining in the sunlight, and my heart was excited. I quickly put on the badge around my neck. With a happy expression, I raised my head, but found that the instructor still had a cold face, holding out his hand to Jin Zhi-jun, who was staring blankly at the badge swaying in front of him, without any intention of taking it. What is this kid doing? I quickly nudged Jin Zhi-jun with my hand, hinting for him to take the badge from the instructor's hand.

  The instructor suddenly shouted "Attention!" and scared both me and Kim Ji-hoon, ordering: "Number 17, pack up all your belongings within three days, hand over all equipment, and return to Los Angeles in three days. You'll have a month's vacation. Number 16, follow me!"

  After finishing speaking, he turned around and walked away to a distant place. Kim Jee-joon slowly followed behind him without saying a word. Looking at the backs of the two people, I couldn't help but let out a sigh, touched the soldier's badge on my chest, and turned around to head towards the dormitory. The change in one's inner thoughts is actually not that difficult, as long as it's not something with strong principles, there's always room for habituation. I believe Kim Jee-joon will definitely recover!

  Back to the dormitory, casually packing up a few personal items, and then there was nothing to do. No more inhuman training, no more cold and stern shouting from the instructor, looking at the luggage in front of me, only the clothes I brought with me when I came, and they haven't been moved for half a year. Every day wearing camouflage uniforms, even underwear is camouflage, reminding me all the time - we are in the army!

  This half year, apart from making a few fixed phone calls to my family every month, I almost didn't do anything except for training, studying and resting. My longing for home has faded a lot. Now suddenly I don't have to train anymore, and in a few days I can return home, the familiar smiles of loved ones and friends are floating before my eyes again, my numb and tired heart is suddenly beating so fast!

  Now, my hometown is already in the cold winter, right? Africa doesn't have winter, only wet and dry seasons. When I return home, it's just in time for Chinese New Year, don't know if I can go back like this year...

  I picked up the satellite phone, dialed a familiar number, and said, "Mom, I'll be back home for New Year's in a few days." My eyes became slightly moist, and after chatting for a while, I hung up the phone. The usual reminders to take care of my body, be safe, and add more blankets because it's cold... always moved me, and I couldn't calm down for a long time. Putting down the phone, I pressed my excited heart, took a deep breath, opened the computer on the table, and logged into an email account that I hadn't checked in ages. The familiar yet unfamiliar username and password made my heart skip a beat again, and it took me a while to calm down.

  A dozen unread emails made me a bit embarrassed, it seems I still have good relationships, after all, there are so many emails. Unfortunately, I never saw them, let alone replied... I opened the emails one by one and replied to each of them carefully. They were all from friends. Her email was also among them, but in my heart, I felt strangely calm. I don't know if I really didn't care anymore or if I had deeply buried this matter. All I knew was that we were now on two completely different paths.

  Several roommates sent me emails and left their phone numbers, which really excited me. From their emails, I learned that a few of them had invited some former classmates who were chefs to open a restaurant with 100,000 yuan, and the business was pretty good, and they also asked me to go there to play when I have time to return to China.

  I couldn't help but call, the familiar voice, the familiar tone, made me burst out laughing. I chatted with them excitedly for over half an hour. We talked about our lives, beautiful women, and bragged. It's been half a year since I've truly laughed like this, besides training it's always just training. Friendship and love are so wonderful! Of course, I couldn't avoid telling a bunch of lies, loving them but having to deceive them with lies, how ironic.

  I gathered my gear, took a nap, and woke up to find that it was already somewhat dark outside. Kim Ji-hoon still hadn't returned. It seemed like I'd be alone for the night! I stood up and walked around the room a couple of times, then suddenly remembered my appointment with Bruce, so I put on my coat and headed out of the dorm.

  As I walked through the familiar training ground, I couldn't help but feel a sense of nostalgia. These past six months have been spent crawling and scrambling around here, it's been incredibly fulfilling! Every day is exhausting, like being a dead dog, and at night I still have to force myself to study foreign languages. It's not a human life! Just as I was about to express my feelings, I had already walked through the training ground and arrived at the gate. As I was about to speak to the guard, the gate suddenly opened.

  Huh? They know I'm going out too?

  Just as I was wondering, a white foreigner in his late 20s, carrying luggage and wearing a military uniform, suddenly flashed into the doorway. His buzz cut, sturdy physique and army uniform told me that this guy was a soldier, looks like another new person has arrived!

  I couldn't help but look at him with a mixture of schadenfreude and pity. Kid, you've got what's coming to you!