Chapter 2: The Heartbroken Boy (1)

  I wandered aimlessly from the school gate to outside, with the voice of the old security guard shouting behind me: "If you have the guts to leave, then don't come back!"

  Turned back and looked, sneered and smiled, continued walking towards the door, the sun set in the west, suddenly felt that I was walking in a desolate manner.

  This is a vocational high school, the new campus is very large and well-constructed, at least that's what I think. Among similar schools, it's one of the best. However, after graduating with an associate's degree and going to work in a factory as a blue-collar worker, it really doesn't have much meaning. I'm reading for a five-year associate's degree, I came here right after junior high school, and if I count high school, I'll be studying at this school for five years before I can get an associate's degree.

  Schools like this usually go to the factory for an internship a year in advance, and after getting the graduation certificate, they will sign a contract to work formally in their original position if there is no accident. I have been here for four years, and many of my classmates are already preparing for work.

  Huh...?

  If there really is a medicine for regret in the world, I wouldn't just buy one or two bottles. Who made me not study well back then? If only I had studied hard, would I have ended up here?

  I remember that when I first came here, I studied quite diligently for the first two years. But now, it's already been a while since I've gradually become "assimilated" by my classmates around me! Eating, drinking, having fun and staying up all night surfing the internet have become routine, sleeping in class and playing cards after school, to the point where even the school doesn't want to manage us. The school doesn't want to manage us, and the old man at the gate can't control us either. Originally, the school gate seemed heavily guarded, but for us, it's free to come and go as we please. It's no wonder that others would get angry like that. However, I'm just going out to surf the internet a bit, I don't want to stay up all night or anything, not because I'm afraid, what's there to be afraid of after all this? It's just too tiring! To be honest, it's still better than sleeping in bed.

  Of course, I won't even consider doing those illegal and disorderly things like visiting prostitutes, gambling, or taking drugs.

  At this time, roommates should have gone back to their dormitory to sleep. I didn't make a sound when I went out, let me give them a call and say something.

  Watching the vehicles shuttling back and forth on the national highway, I let out a sigh of annoyance, feeling more and more desolate. The air in my trachea seemed to be cool and refreshing. I touched the wallet in my pocket, hailed a bus going to the city, and got on with a sense of relief, finding a seat by the window in the empty carriage.

  Staring at the fleeting lights outside the car window, another smiling face appears in front of me, those cute little rabbit teeth, that pure and mischievous smile, the heart-wrenching pain surges up again. Can't help but shake my head to try to forget that pain, but that heart-wrenching feeling suddenly turns into a trembling sensation spreading throughout my body's senses... Being rejected really doesn't feel good! Usually able to talk and joke with those brothers who are particularly righteous, so why haven't I confessed my feelings to the one I like in two years? Just about to graduate and separate, only then did I send a sentimental confession text message...

  Damn it!

  It's too late, the love that originally belonged to me was buried by my own cowardice.

  How many hints, how many chances, and how many people's encouragement didn't make you determined? What do you expect the girl to say to you? Everyone can see your feelings, but why don't you have the guts? Dammit, now even saying a word to her makes me blush! Isn't it embarrassing?!

  Damn it, man!

  Do you still remember the feeling of your first crush?

  Do you still remember when you two were in class and openly passed notes to each other, your technique was already practiced to perfection, did the whole class envy you?

  Do you still remember that the desk drawer was stuffed with paper slips, and you have kept a handful of them until now, hoping to give them to her one day?

  Do you still remember that trick of measuring the distance between two people with a deck of cards? Others openly calculated back and forth, while you secretly added your name and her name together. Who knew that the first card flipped over was hers, not even one person apart. You calculated again, one person apart, but after flipping just a few more cards, that "person" disappeared, and they weren't apart anymore. What's going on in your heart?

  Do you still remember her learning cross-stitch and saying she wanted to make one for you, you were the first boy she made a cross-stitch for, what was that feeling of wanting to say something but stopping yourself?

  Do you still remember that your classmate told you she didn't like it when you said "haven't you made a mistake", and did you mobilize all your roommates to supervise you not to say this sentence again?

  Do you still remember that violent girl who bullied you every day with a sneer on her face, but your heart was full of sweet feelings?

  Do you still remember her dancing "Bamboo Forest Waltz" on stage and your efforts to find her figure under the stage?

  Still remember — how many still remember?

  You damn fool, don't you think you should slap yourself in the face! Only because you didn't dare to pursue your own love, did you realize everything after losing it.

  You said you really liked her, and before graduation, you had to express your feelings, whether she accepted or not, so that you wouldn't regret it later. Rejected! You smiled and told your classmates, "No big deal, I knew the outcome." Even you thought your smile was fake! Who would know the deepest pain in your heart? Even if she agreed, how would you feel the next day, with that anxiety? But all you got was: "I knew it all along, finally got to hear those words!" But...

  You said it's easy to find a girlfriend, but hard to find true love. School romances will eventually go their separate ways, scattered all over the place. These words aren't wrong, but I'm afraid there's more self-consolation in them!

  There was a genuine emotion in front of me, I didn't cherish it until I regretted losing it. If heaven gave me another chance, I would say three words to that girl: "I love you!" If this love had to have an expiration date, I hope it's just one minute! Because at least I loved.

  The bus stopped in the city center, I got off and looked up at the starless night sky, taking a deep breath, wanting to let everything go. The urban area around 10 o'clock was still very noisy, with my hands in my pockets, I slowly walked towards the pedestrian street.

  There are still many people on the street, in pairs and groups, walking with smiles. Only I don't have a smiling face.

  I shook my head and took out my phone to dial the dormitory's number.

  "Hello, who is it?"

  "Oh me!"

  "Ah Hui, where are you running off to? Why haven't you come back yet?" The receiver crackled with static.

  "I'm not going home tonight, I'm going out to have some fun."

  "Not coming back? Pulling an all-nighter? The sun's not calling out to brothers, you're also too... Oh, haha, I get it, when emotions are heartbroken, let the body fall in love! Take care of your body, don't be too..."

  A burst of laughter inside left me speechless and I couldn't help but smile.

  "My god, you guys are too despicable! I'm out of here."

  "Don't hang up yet."

  "What's up? Anything going on?"

  "It's nothing... just... it's been a few hours since I saw you, and I'm missing you!"

  "Damn it!" I cursed loudly, feeling a chill run down my spine. I firmly hung up the phone and couldn't help but crack a small smile on my face, muttering under my breath: "Wasting my phone bill!"

  These kids!