Insufficient balance

  A soldier stood silently in front of the tofu workshop, he had tried his best to make himself stand more majestically, looking like a professional military man, but the large pile of fat on his abdomen could not be hidden and destroyed all his efforts. From behind, I just felt that he was both ridiculous and pitiful.

  "Looks like we have a guest today!" Zhang Sun Ting let out a whistle and said, "Hey, you've lost so much weight in just a few months! If you had this figure last time, my brother and I wouldn't have almost died from exhaustion. But what brings you here this time? Are you going to scold us until we're ashamed, or do you have a knife hidden in your hand to repay the kindness of sending you to the hospital for three months?"

  That new recruit heard Zhang Sun Ting's voice and his whole body shook, he suddenly turned his head, this face was round and pale with a hint of illness, it was actually Yang Qing who had run over 1,000 meters using the horse-riding technique when we first entered the military camp. Not to mention that he really lost a lot of weight, looking at his height of 1.7 meters, his weight is now probably around 180 pounds or so? As long as he works harder and loses another 70-80 pounds, he can go take the military academy exam.

  Yang Qing stared straight at us, I don't know why, but I felt that his eyes seemed to have something more in them.

  Yang Qing took a step forward, his eyes fixed on us as he raised his left hand and gave a standard military salute. His chubby palm and round face, which still had a hint of childishness, seemed to exude a steady and calm air that was characteristic of a soldier. Long Sun Ting and I immediately stopped smiling and stood at attention, returning the salute.

  "Thank you!"

  "Huh?" I exchanged a glance with Zhang Sun Ting, could it be that due to the lack of oxygen in his lungs, this guy had developed lifelong aftereffects, and even his brain was a bit rusty?

  Yang Qing bravely looked at us and puffed out his chest saying: "Thank you for continuing my dream!"

  This chubby guy's face turned red with excitement, he almost shouted: "I've seen many characters like Dong Cunrui and Qi Jiguang in the movies, and I won't forget that hero who held a loudspeaker shouting 'Fire at me!' They are my most admired and respected idols! It was because of them that China miraculously defeated one powerful enemy after another! But as history returns to the present day, my friends around me, including teachers at school, and even the vast majority of Chinese people, have forgotten this unyielding spirit. They think these are just products of a bygone era. I'm here in the army camp searching for real answers because I refuse to accept that. I'm really glad to have met you all, from you I've found the heroic spirit unique to Chinese soldiers!"

  I exchanged a brief glance with Chang Sun-ting, and I really didn't expect that in Yang Qing's nearly idiotic body, there was still such a strong and intense patriotic passion.

  "I came to find you, hoping to learn from you and become a qualified soldier as soon as possible. I want to pass on the heroic spirit of the Chinese army, uninterrupted! Speaking of which, Yang Qing suddenly changed from a high-pitched voice to an extremely low one, and said dejectedly: "I spent three whole months in the hospital, missing the new recruit training, plus my physical condition is too poor, no team wants me. If I keep waiting like this, I'll become an idle vagrant in the army camp. So I applied to my superiors to transfer to your 'tofu workshop' as a helper, and it's estimated that it will be approved soon."

  I let out a loud cry in my heart, "My mother!" His fighting spirit is commendable, and he has the awareness of being a silly bird taking flight first. However, even if diligence can make up for clumsiness, how far and high can this big, fat, clumsy bird fly? Moreover, it's possible that in a few months we'll be deployed to the national border, ready to face battle at any moment. If I really have to bring along such a super burden, Long Sun Ting and I will truly be driven to death by his heroic ambitions.

  I walked up and patted Yang Qing's shoulder, using a coaxing little girl's voice to say: "I really appreciate your noble sentiment of worrying before the world worries, but everyone should develop in their own field of expertise to make their due contribution. You're not suited to be a soldier, just like you initially planned, I think it would be best for you to study hard and take the military academy exam directly, that's the right path for your life!"

  "Ah, yes, yes!" Chang Sun Ting nodded repeatedly and said in a gentle tone: "Soldiers are all foot soldiers on the battlefield, to put it bluntly, they're cannon fodder. They have to rely on their own two legs to outrun death, so they must have strong physiques. Tell me, what sports or physical activities are you good at? If you have any competitive specialties, we'll take them into consideration."

  Yang Qing's face turned red and white, hesitated for a long time, then suddenly his eyes sparkled like a beggar who had just picked up a large piece of gold, and he shouted: "I have special skills! I once won the seventh place in the national competition and the fourth place in the team competition!!!"

  "Really? I looked at Yang Qing with suspicion, thinking to myself: 'Could he be participating in some kind of competition to see who can eat the fastest and the most?'"

  Yang Qing's next words almost made me fall over, "My accuracy with a sniper rifle is such that I can single-handedly hold off an entire army. As long as I'm not dead, no one can get past the passageway I'm defending. According to data analysis, my shooting accuracy rate is as high as 97.3%, and there's never been anyone who could dodge my shots twice! But this isn't even the scariest part about me. My comrades all say that because I'm fat, I'm lazy and don't like to do a lot of physical exercise, and I have a gentle temperament so I won't make impulsive mistakes, which makes me a natural strategic genius at holding positions. After the match, people from other teams all call me the 'CS King of Holding Positions'!"

  I'm tired!

  After a long time, what he called "yun yun" turned out to be just a once-popular computer game!

  Chang Sun Ting stretched out his hand and slapped the words that I had just uttered back into my mouth, gazing at Yang Qing with an encouraging smile before asking: "You mean to say that you can also be a top-notch sniper in real life?"

  Yang Qing nodded vigorously and replied, "Yes, among domestic CS professional players, there are tens of thousands of people, at least over 10,000 who are studying the use of sniper rifles. As an amateur enthusiast, I can occupy a place in the ranks of the masters because I possess average computer patrol calculation ability, which allows me to easily judge the opponent's movement intentions. My motor nerve reaction speed is slower than theirs, but I can directly card on their movement route and give them the most unexpected attack."

  Chang Sun Ting's smile became even more gentle, he nodded repeatedly in agreement with Yang Qing's views, and only then said calmly: "I've also played CS games, whether it's in the game or in reality, an excellent sniper doesn't have to be a godly marksman who hits every shot. Missing a shot still leaves room for a second chance, but one thing is certain - you can't expose your target and position. For a sniper, exposure means death!

  Snipers need to have the ability to survive in various environments, truly elite troops can hide in a foxhole for more than 20 hours until the moment the target appears and launch a sudden attack. Think about it, brother, they must keep most of their body hidden in human excrement, eating, drinking, urinating and defecating all have to be solved inside the foxhole, the single soldier food they carry is all soaked in feces, even if the packaging is well sealed, when opening the package, some harmful substances will inevitably seep in, they can't use their hands to wipe it clean, can only use their teeth to gnaw away the contaminated part bit by bit, if food is particularly scarce, then they can only close their eyes and swallow directly...

  Why does this sentence sound so familiar?!

  I stared at Changsun Ting, who was talking eloquently with a shameless face, and I couldn't help but admire his thick skin. At the same time, I envied his incredible memory that didn't forget anything. Yang Qing even nodded repeatedly with a look of admiration on her face for this pirated version of a board.

  "So you want to be an excellent sniper, then start by enduring various environments. If you can't even meet this basic requirement, it's better for you to go home early." As she spoke, the wolf grandmother finally revealed her true nature as a cunning plotter, showing off her sharp forest fangs: "Do you see that sewer below our feet? We train ourselves every day by eating in there, improving our adaptability. Since you're so sincere, I'll give you one chance. Start from that corner over there and crawl all the way here. If you make it, you pass our test!"

  "Alright!" Yang Qing walked towards the entrance of the sewer with a determined face. I quietly pulled Long Sun Ting and whispered, "Brother, you're not joking, right? With his build, what if he gets stuck in the sewer?"

  Chang Sun Ting rolled his eyes and said, "What else can I do? Do you really want me to take this athletic moron who's all talk and no action onto the battlefield?"

  Yang Qing lifted the manhole cover of the sewer, although she couldn't help but wrinkle her brow, but she jumped in with a plop without any hesitation.

  Chang Sun Ting pulled me to run to the nearest sewer exit from Yang Qing, smiling: "I think he can crawl through this section of road, we'll just wait for him here."

  I nodded, and Chang Sun-ting stood at the entrance of the sewer, plus we were covered in mud and stinking, looking like we were doing sewer cleaning work. Even Hong Tuan-zhang, who occasionally passed by from the playground, nodded his head in approval, which was also an unexpected gain for us?

  Five minutes have passed, and Yang Qing still hasn't shown up. Chang Sun Ting couldn't help but curse in a low voice: "Damn it, this is ridiculous! A sewer that's less than thirty meters long can take so long to crawl through!"

  Ten minutes have passed, and I couldn't help but think: "Is this guy a turtle or what? Even if he is a turtle, shouldn't he have crawled over by now?"

  Twenty minutes have passed and both Chang Sun-ting and I are getting anxious. This guy wouldn't suffocate again from the marsh gas in the sewer, would he? That would be another big disaster for us.

  Twenty-five minutes later, I waved my hand and shouted: "I'll go first, you follow, let's go in and see what's going on!"

  I jumped into the drain and was surprised to find Yang Qing lying in front of me less than two meters away, staring at me with a pair of big eyes innocently.

  "Hey, aren't you dead yet?!"

  Yang Qing nodded repeatedly.

  "What's with always lying down here? Have you fallen in love with this environment and want to stay a bit longer?"

  Yang Qing shook her head desperately.

  "What's taking you so long? You've been here for half an hour already!"

  "I... I'm stuck, can't move." Yang Qing helplessly twisted his waist, the widest part of his body was stuck in a small turn of the sewer, Yang Qing had obviously been struggling quietly for a long time, the walls around him were covered with splashed mud, but this made it even more slippery and unable to exert force.

  I was both angry and amused, asking: "You clearly knew we were right above you, why didn't you call us down to help? Anyway, the two of us are already this dirty."

  Yang Qing smiled awkwardly, but his voice carried a sense of unyielding tragic color: "Because I want to become a qualified soldier and be an excellent sniper! A sniper may not be a god-like shooter who hits every shot, but he must never expose his position and target. If I can't do that, I've already lost!"

  I stared blankly at Yang Qing, I have to admit, his words had left me stunned!

  "Hey, what's going on? Do you guys enjoy chatting in the sewer? This is really a special hobby!" A voice came from the other end of the sewer, I reached out and grabbed Yang Qing's collar and shouted: "Less nonsense, this kid is stuck in the sewer, you push hard from behind, let's get him out first!"

  "No!" Yang Qing struggled and pushed away my hand, "If you help me, then my test..."

  I slapped him hard on the head and shouted, "You idiot, this time you passed the test, but listen up, if you can't lose 40 pounds of fat in three months, you're still fired!"

  Chang Sun Ting shouted from behind: "Yes! So fat, you can get stuck in the sewer! Get out of here!!!"

  With a thud, Yang Qing's body flew out from the bend before I even had time to react. All I felt was a wave of dizziness before being pinned down by over 180 pounds of flesh. This mountain of meat twisted and turned on top of me, trying to get up while complaining in a low voice: "Why did you kick my butt?!"

  I furiously yelled: "Who kicked you wasn't me! Yang Qing, why did your knee have to support my position, are you practicing women's self-defense or something?!"