Chapter 27: The End of Mo Jin School Lieutenant

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  When the devils of two battalions and over a thousand yellow skins "recaptured" Lingyuan City, it had been three days since Wei Yuankun and his men withdrew. The entire city was as usual except for the two houses in the pseudo-government courtyard that were bombed down, with big and small bullet holes on the walls. The tofu stall outside the south gate was still operating normally, while the coffin shop and ironwork shop near the grain street were also ringing as usual. When they walked into the yard, they found a pile of coffins in the middle of the yard, and except for the cash and dollars that had been taken away from the intact government tile-roofed house, everything else remained unchanged. On the table was a letter written by Wei Yuankun himself:

  Inspected by Japanese Army Commander:

  I, the Self-Defense Army of the Poor, have come to this small town to pay my respects. As for the gifts of cash, tobacco and other goods from across the ocean, we considered that your imperial army has a large household and many enterprises, so there is no lack of foreign wax, and we reluctantly accepted them. However, there were too many things, which made it very inconvenient to transport. We hope that next time you will prepare several carts, and cars won't be needed. We don't have gasoline, and you are also short of this thing, so we won't compete with you for it.

  Although we suffered heavy casualties, I must commend you: your soldiers were very brave and not one of them surrendered. I admire their bravery. Even if they had committed great crimes, killing people is just a matter of beheading or burying them; it's not right to leave their bodies exposed in the wilderness. So we specially sold our pants to buy high-quality coffins for them and buried them all properly. As for the 20,000 yuan, I know that you imperial army are all concerned with saving face, so since we took care of the funeral expenses for your men, you will definitely need to reimburse us. The receipt is enclosed in this letter; you can take it back and claim reimbursement.

  Yours faithfully

  Bowing

  A mysterious passerby

  Seeing this letter with handwriting that was barely better than a spider's crawl, the Japanese lieutenant, Tsurugi Takeichirō, was furious and stormed into the courtyard. And indeed, there were fourteen coffins lined up inside, each with the name and title of the deceased Japanese soldier written in bold font on the headboard. In front of each coffin was a table with offerings: incense burners, candles, apples, paper money, white silk banners, a bowl of food, three dog-beating sticks, and a dozen dog biscuits. Next to them stood a pair of golden boys and jade maidens, holding a stack of paper money with a note attached that read: "The master of the house rewards you with 120 taels of silver." The government sign at the entrance had been taken down and replaced with three sheets of mourning paper, with a placard on the left side bearing four large characters: "Heaven has eyes." Not only were the old Japanese soldiers enraged, but even the interpreter was so angry that his teeth ached: "You damned bandits, are you trying to give the Imperial Army an early funeral?"

  "What's the meaning of this?! The great Imperial Japanese Army can't be placed in a Chinese coffin! This is outrageous! Get it out quickly!" When Sword Department Wu Yilang gave this order, the fake army beside him hesitated for a moment. In China, people believe in "entering the earth to rest", and once someone enters a coffin, they shouldn't be taken out again. It's too unlucky. But the devils didn't care about these things. They immediately found some crowbars and pried open the coffin. Some of the fake army nearby thought that this devil must have been in the business of stealing gold or moving mountains before. When the nails on the coffin were removed, they opened the lid and looked inside. The devil inside was washed clean and placed neatly, but his military uniform had been changed to a suit of mourning clothes. "Take it out and change its clothes!" Sword Department Wu Yilang shouted. As he walked up to the coffin and saw that the loyal and brave Imperial Army soldier had been dressed like this, he got furious on the spot. He personally went forward, grabbed the corpse, and started to lift it out. But just then, he seemed to hear a "hissing" sound from under the corpse, and a faint smell of gunpowder wafted into his nose. "Could it be...?" This was Sword Department Wu Yilang's last thought before he was blown away.

  This is indeed a serious and thorough "blowing up" of the corpse.

  And the fake soldiers next to them all sneered: How about it, didn't I tell you not to do inhumane things like digging up coffins and graves? How about it, didn't listen, did you? Got what was coming to you, got blown up!

  When the upper half of Takeo Tsukumogami's body fell to the ground after being blown in two, everyone's first reaction was to get as far away from these coffins as possible, because who knows when they'll explode. At this time, the deputy commander of the company couldn't help but take over as acting commander, but he had only been in command for less than three minutes before following Takeo Tsukumogami to his death at Kusunoki Hill. When he saw that the coffins were making a noise in the courtyard, he rushed into the fake government building to give orders. He found that the phone inside the house was still working because his interpreter had just used it to contact the village office downstairs. Without saying a word, he picked up the phone and planned to call for some doctors to come over - besides the company commander, several Japanese soldiers who were also surrounding the coffins were blown to pieces, covered in blood. When he finished dialing and grabbed the receiver, just as he said "Moshi Moshi", the phone rang. At that moment, this person's belly was blown open, with his intestines and stomach all spilled out. As he lay dying, he thought of many things - the Emperor, his parents, wife, and children - but due to limited time, his final words became a standard Japanese counter-revolutionary phrase: "Tennoheika... bitch... goodbye!"

  The Japanese soldiers didn't have the leisure to pursue whether what he said before his death was blasphemous or not. Who knows, maybe this guy will be written about by the headquarters' journalists and become some kind of "military god" in the future. As for the Emperor, it's impossible for him to hold a grudge against a dead person. The key issue at hand is that there are booby traps all over this house, so how can we deal with them?

  The devils didn't know how to deal with the booby trap, and Wei Yuankun and his men were not in charge. He and Wang He and Zhang Xin were all experts in this field from a young age, and their skills surpassed those of the main character in "Little Devils at Home". They left behind more than ten minutes of "unexpected surprises" for the devils to find.

  Three days later, they received news that the booby trap had killed five or six devils, including three company commanders. Someone asked how there were three instead of two. It turned out that the third commander was a bit unscrupulous and saw his two superiors die in an accident, but he didn't feel sad, instead, he felt very happy - "Finally, it's my turn to be in charge!" The next day, he sent a car to bring over several Japanese geishas from Chaoyang City. That night, he and the geisha went into the room, just as they were about to make love, the bed exploded. As he died, he still had time to say - "I said this bed board was a bit loose! It turned out it was a bomb fuse!"

  This was because his subordinates were careless, who would have thought that there was a hand grenade under the bed? However, the way he died was quite romantic. Although the explosion of the hand grenade blew both people to pieces, the sudden death froze time, and at that moment, he and the geisha were still embracing each other, naked, with his lower body between her legs, and her thighs wrapped tightly around his waist. They hugged so tightly that the fake soldiers who came to collect the bodies couldn't separate them after half a day of effort, and they cursed in their hearts - "You died under the skirt of a woman, but you still made us sweat!"

  In the end, they had no choice but to use a large jar to carry them away and deal with it in Chaoyang.

  This way, the punitive action in the devils' plan was forced to be postponed - one commander died by prying open a coffin, another died from a phone call, and the most unfortunate one died with an old lady's pants down. With all commanders dead, how could they continue fighting? Let's talk about it when people arrive. For the devils, the death of these three was worth exploring, but from a different perspective than that of the puppet army. The Japanese believed their first battalion commander died the most miserably. They thought that their squadron leader dying in an old lady's pants was somewhat embarrassing to say, but also revealed a hint of masculinity and heroism in conquering everything. However, being blown up by a hand grenade in a coffin after prying it open was a bit depressing, after all, he was a graduate of the Japanese Army Military Academy, not some fake military school.

  Due to the three company commanders' deaths being too embarrassing, the Japanese fabricated a story to cover it up. The small company commander who took over sent a telegram to his superior, saying that after a fierce battle, our army had recaptured Lingyuan City from the bandits, and the enemy suffered heavy casualties and retreated into the mountains. However, our imperial army also suffered heavy losses, and the three company commanders died in succession. He requested reinforcements to pursue and attack the enemy in the mountains. But his superior's response was "Hold the city, immediately rectify the surrounding security." After all, what is most precious for Japan at this time? Soldiers! With the Soviet Union facing off, the Southern Ocean strategy, dealing with Chiang Kai-shek, and sweeping away the **guerrilla troops, which one doesn't need people? Especially since the outbreak of the Pacific War, troops have been pulled south ship by ship, making the shortage even more severe. The Imperial Army's elite Kwantung Army is strong, but it has become an empty shell after being drained here and there. It's already quite good to be able to gather two divisions now. Moreover, the Hebei campaign against the Eighth Route Army's base hasn't ended yet, and this year's Eighth Route Army is much harder to deal with than before. Many of the sweeping troops have been defeated, not only failing to capture a few bandits but also being wiped out by the Eighth Route Army one after another. The local landlords don't have any surplus grain either, so it's really impossible to mobilize more people. More importantly, compared to capturing that oil field, this small incident in Rehe-Chaoyang is nothing. The Japanese military believes that once they deal with the American and British devils, they can take care of these little bandits later.

  But soon the Japanese could not help it, and while they were busy removing various explosive devices from coffins and houses, as well as handling the aftermath of the two successive battalion commanders who had passed away, one bad news came after another.

  …………………

  The troops suddenly expanded to over a thousand people, and Guo Wenlian and other leaders suddenly felt that their originally slender waists had become thicker than those of pregnant cows. Since they had taken up the big stick, they had to do big business. Taking down Lingyuan City was not enough to eat? The thirty households, the big city, Songzhangzi - weren't they all fat and oily (to Guo Wenlian and his men)? Before the devils reacted, they would snatch their milk!

  The first of the thirty households was flattened, and the large cannon tower in the middle of the town collapsed after being hit by two rocket launchers. Over a thousand people, protected by five heavy machine guns, were led by light machine gunners and flower-shaped machine gunners, with those behind rushing forward. The battle was settled in less than two hours, with over a dozen devils and thirty or more yellow-skinned puppet soldiers being completely annihilated. Several dozen large guns, one heavy machine gun, one light machine gun, and a grenade launcher all fell into the hands of the Kill the Rich and Help the Poor Self-Defense Army.

  Guo Wenlian and his men also took advantage of the situation to attack several wealthy households that had collaborated with the enemy, and these wealthy families, who had relied on the enemy's power to bully others, were now trembling with fear. One household, surnamed Liu, was particularly stubborn, and its owner, nicknamed "Liu the Big Deserter", realized that he would not be treated well if he fell into the hands of the anti-Japanese forces.

  Despite his nickname, Liu did not want to become a deserter, and so he gathered over thirty guards from his household and nearby police stations to resist. However, his fate was sealed, and according to Wei Yuanke's perspective, those who resisted would have to be taught a lesson. Two rocket launchers were fired at the house, and Liu's mansion, although grandly built, was no match for the cannon tower.

  The house was quickly breached, and Liu was captured. Those who resisted, especially those who were guilty of heinous crimes, would not receive good treatment. At most, they would be punished by having their grain and money taken away and distributed to the people, but Liu's fate was sealed. He was bound up like a rice dumpling and still shouted insults at his captors.

  Wei Yuanke was furious when he heard this and said to those around him, "Let me handle this." Those nearby understood that Liu would not be treated well.

  Wei Yuankun walked up to him, first giving him a trademark sly smile - later, people who knew him would find out that whenever he flashed this kind of smile, his mind was already brewing with malicious intentions. Then he said "A good man after 18 years? I'll make you a eunuch after 18 years!" At this time, Zhang Xin also understood Wei Yuankun's meaning and immediately shouted "Get the blood oath tools! Give him the 'Blood Oath Festival'!" The people around didn't know about the eunuch works of a certain wolf from another dimension in the 21st century, but although they didn't know what this Blood Oath Festival was, they were clear that whatever came out of these two guys' minds definitely wasn't anything good, and it would absolutely be something he wouldn't enjoy. They immediately started looking for things, while Wei Yuankun waved his hand at everyone "Our Blood Oath Festival doesn't need those things, you, the one next to me, lend me the gun barrel on your waist for a bit..."

  When JJ was shot for the 786th time, Liu Daxue finally left with infinite nostalgia for this world, resentment that proved his nickname "Liu Daxue" was not in vain, and unbearable pain from **. Moreover, his appearance after death was also difficult to look at, truly a case of "dying without closing one's eyes". As for his sons who had been evil with him all along, it was the usual practice, following the principle of "eradicating evil and cutting off the roots", they were all beheaded with a big knife.

  From then on, Wei Yuankun's reputation was formally established among the Han traitors. The curse of the common people "When a Han traitor dies, his whole family dies" finally became a reality. Adding to this, the abnormal behavior of Commissioner Kun and others in Lingyuan City, all the yellow-skinned traitors' slang changed to "If I XXXX, I'll run into Wei Yuankun when I go out!"

  As for the body of the devil, Wei Yuankun still gave a generous burial, brought a coffin and buried it in a good feng shui location. However, the devils still didn't change their stubborn temper and insisted on taking the body back to handle it themselves. Having learned from their previous mistake, they at least knew that tasks like digging up graves, opening coffins, changing clothes, and arranging the body should be left to the puppet army. To the delight of the puppet army and the relief of the devils, this time neither the grave nor the coffin had any traps, and the body was dug up smoothly. However, just when the devils thought nothing would happen, something did. The next day after they transported the body to Chaoyang, a phone call came from Chaoyang, scolding the devils in Lingyuan City. It turned out that when the devils were cremating the body, the fire suddenly exploded halfway through, and the flying wood and body fragments knocked over the devils who were mourning nearby. A burning log even flew to an oil tank of the Japanese army, causing a big fire, and two devils performed a "Phoenix Nirvana Dance" on the spot. The devils were quite stubborn, shouting "Long live the Emperor!" with their bodies on fire before they died. Fortunately, there were no beverage bottles nearby, or it would have become another cult incident in a different time and space.

  Wei Yuankun then had someone send a letter to the Japanese, although they were somewhat bewildered by the new content, it still made them furious.

  "You little rascals! I told you earlier not to engage in that grave-robbing business, but you didn't listen. Now look what's happened - you've run into big trouble! Serves you right!"

  The original chapter was too short, so I changed it a bit, is this enough now?