Chapter 4 Lamentation I

  One

  Xiao Yi has not come to class for a week, and her desk still has the open workbook from that evening, with several pages torn apart by a ballpoint pen. The torn marks are like fresh wounds, trembling and exposed in the air. Zhang Chongyu, who sits in front of her, has not turned his head since that evening, nor will he smile at her as he did before when entering the classroom in the morning. She is sitting there like an invisible person again, his disregard making it seem as if they had never met, and she had never existed.

  Blue sighed, and it turned out that she had unknowingly gotten used to the days when they were noisy around her. The lively world suddenly became quiet, and she felt empty inside, as if something was missing. The campus after school was always bustling with people carrying backpacks walking in the campus, stepping on the fallen yellow leaves, making a crisp sound. Zhang Chongyu's tall figure walked among the crowd and was still recognized at a glance. He smiled and waved goodbye to the girls in the class, crouched down and walked into the old bicycle shed, pushed out his favorite red and white mountain bike, and Blue hadn't had time to hide before meeting his eyes. Seeing her standing at the door, he was obviously taken aback, saying: "What are you doing here?"

  "Do you want to go home?" Lan looked at the handlebars of his bicycle, where a red cloth strip with the words "safe entry and exit" was tied, which she had forcibly tied for him at that time, and he had always complained that it was too rustic.

  "Xiao Yi has a cold, I want to go to her house and take a look." He said, still casually smoothing out the bulging backpack on his shoulder, which must be filled with Xiao Yi's favorite fruits.

  "I'm going too." My heart tightened and the words came out in a rush.

  Zhang Chongyu turned his head and looked at her slightly tense face, "Let's come together then."

  "Ah!" Excited to the point of being at a loss, the hand holding the pass was slightly trembling. The advantage of being a half-boarder and half-day student is that you can enter and exit the campus freely with your pass.

  Zhang Chongyu's bike had no extra space, except for the protruding part at the center of the rear wheel that she could stand on. She held onto his broad back and carefully stood on the small protrusion, facing the gentle breeze that carried a dizzying scent. It was unclear whether it was really the day itself or just psychological suggestion. Perhaps it was the speeding mountain bike that brought a unique fragrance to his hair, which mixed with the gentle wind and filled her lungs. With eyes wide open, she looked at the people scattered along the roadside, as well as Zhang Chongyu pedaling hard, her heart filled with an irrepressible thrill.

  Xiao Yi's home was hidden in a small grove of trees, quiet and elegant. Lan followed Zhang Chongyu hesitantly, and the gate of the compound slowly opened after Xiao Yi obtained permission over the phone. It was Xiao Yi's mother who came to open the door, a gentle and refined lady, who smiled warmly and invited Zhang Chongyu into the house. "You must be Zhang Chongyu, Xiao Yi often mentions you, saying that you've always taken good care of her, thank you young man."

  Zhang Chongyu smiled awkwardly, took out the fruits from his backpack one by one and carefully arranged them on the table, saying: "Auntie, this is what should be done, we are all good friends."

  Xiao Mu finally noticed Lan'er standing by the door. She was taken aback for a moment, then smiled at her and asked, "And who is this?"

  "Auntie, I'm Lan C, also a good friend of Xiao Yi's." Lan C hastily said, her empty hands making her feel somewhat embarrassed.

  "Oh, then sit down, the water is here." Xiao's mother handed them water while shouting towards the house: "Xiao Yi, your friends have come to see you, hurry up and come out."

  "Mom, I'm so tired." Xiao Yi's voice came through the door panel, with a hint of weakness and illness.

  Lan pulled Zhang Chongyu up, "It's okay, we'll go in and see you."

  "It's okay." Xiao Yi stood at the door, her face pale, she quietly looked at Lan Yu, the distance in her eyes made Lan Yu taken aback. Then Xiao Yi smiled slightly and slowly walked towards her, stopping in front of her, "I want to be alone with Zhang Chongyu for a while, you go back."

  Lan Yu opened her mouth, wanting to say something, only to find that her vocal organs seemed to have been completely paralyzed. It was as if a fish wanted to express itself by spitting out silent bubbles, but people in another world had no idea what it wanted to say. She felt like she was now just that bubble-spitting fish. Lan Yu looked helplessly at Zhang Chongyu, whose eyes were hidden in the shadow of his hair. His calm demeanor made her feel despair for the first time.

  I don't remember how I walked out of Xiao Yi's house and back home, Lan? was lying on the bed sideways, on the bedside table were Christmas gifts prepared for Xiao Yi and Zhang Chongyu, a magical paper Christmas tree, every day adding water to it would make many beautiful snowflakes bloom. This had been prepared a month ago, always thought this would be an eagerly anticipated Christmas, but now, unexpectedly didn't even have the chance to give out the gifts.

  "Isn't there still a night self-study tonight? How did you come back?" Lan Mu pushed open the door, holding a cup of hot milk with steam on it and placed it on the table, looking at her daughter with concern.

  A white mist floated in the air above the milk cup, disappearing into thin air thread by thread. Lan turned around and buried her face deep in the pillow, "I don't feel well, I don't want to go to school tomorrow, can you help me ask for a few days off?" She could only dodge the concerned gaze of her family members, afraid that if she met those eyes filled with love and hard work, she would burst into tears uncontrollably.

  The air was eerily quiet, so quiet that it seemed blue. Everyone thought the old lady had already left the room, but as soon as she lifted her face from the pillow, she met her eyes. She handed over the milk and said, "Go to the hospital with Mom."

  "No need, just rest for a few days." Lan handed the empty milk cup to her mother after finishing it, "I'm going to sleep, close the door when you leave."

  As soon as the sound of the door closing was heard, Lan'er opened her eyes in the darkness. Her parents were talking in hushed tones in the living room. Looking out the window, the streetlights had already come on, casting a warm glow that slanted through the window and covered the soft bed. Lan'er buried her face in the radiant bedding, indulging in the warmth it brought, just like praying for sunshine every day and the warmth that came with it. Only at such moments could she be truly herself, revealing her vulnerability without reserve, letting bitter tears flow freely, and falling asleep amidst the peaceful silence of the night.