Chapter 5: The Tide of Retreat

  Excessive

  This semester just started, and Lan felt a subtle change in the relationship between her, Zhang Chongyu, and Xiao Yi. It was because of this change that she suddenly felt that Du Hongyi's presence would make her feel more at ease. A week had passed since school started, and she hadn't seen Du Hongyi's shadow, although he used to come over for no reason at all. Suddenly, not seeing him for so long made her feel like something was missing, but she couldn't quite put her finger on what it was. Every time someone walked past the classroom window, she would subconsciously take notice, wondering if Du Hongyi had come to stir up trouble again.

  The Du family's mansion has been bustling with activity over the past few days, a stark contrast to its usual tranquility. Many guests have arrived, mostly middle-aged men around Father's age who are unfamiliar to me. They smile obsequiously as they raise their glasses in a toast to Father, and there's also the woman standing beside him with her arm linked through his, which is particularly jarring. The woman is very young, with her hair styled up and revealing her pale neck, and a purple cheongsam that accentuates her figure. She smiles elegantly, seemingly unflappable at this sort of gathering. This woman is Liang Xiaoxiao.

  It was just a few days before the start of school, and in the middle of the night, the phone at home rang non-stop. After answering one call, Father hastily grabbed the car keys and went out. Hongyi opened his eyes in the dark room, listening to the noise outside the door gradually stopping, but he couldn't fall asleep again. He got dressed in his pajamas, went downstairs, poured himself a glass of milk, sat on the sofa, and watched yesterday's news being replayed on TV.

  Just after finishing a cup of milk, I heard the sound of my father's car coming back. Then, there was the sound of someone taking out keys from their pocket outside the door, seemingly unable to find the keyhole and struggling for a long time without opening the door. Hongyi got up and walked to the door to open it. Outside, Du Bin was laboriously supporting a young woman who had clearly gotten drunk. Seeing that it was Hongyi who opened the door, his face showed some embarrassment, and he immediately whispered to Hongyi to get him a hot towel. As I watched my father help the thoroughly drunken woman lie down on the sofa, my confusion hadn't been resolved before I noticed that there was still a small girl of five or six years old standing outside the door, staring at me with big, shining eyes.

  Hongyi bent down and lowered his waist to the same level as the little girl's line of sight, seeing that there were still tears in her eyes. No wonder they sparkled. The girl sniffled and looked up at the strange brother in front of her with a hint of fear. Hongyi couldn't help but feel a thread of affection, making way for her, "Come in."

  The girl carefully took off her muddy doll shoes at the entrance, looking at the spotless wooden floor, and awkwardly turned back to look at Hongyi. Hongyi closed the door and came over to hand her a pair of cotton slippers from the shoe cabinet that he used to wear when he was young, then glanced at the woman lying on the sofa and his father wiping her face beside her. That meticulous man, could he really be his father? The impression he had of him was never so gentle towards his mother. Looking at this strange combination, Hongyi's heart guessed something, but felt absurd and sad. The doubts and anger that were shouting in his heart were swallowed one by one as he walked upstairs, closed the door, turned off the light, and slowly adapted to the darkness in the room. Footsteps came from outside the door, stopping at his own door, Hongyi held his breath, the air was so quiet that he could hear the breathing of the person outside the door.

  "Hongyi, it's Dad." Du Bin pushed against the door of the house, which was already locked from the inside.

  Du Bin sighed and said to the door, "Hongyi, I hope you can forgive your father." There was no movement inside the door, but Hongyi's body was clearly trembling with anger in the darkness.

  "It's Father's fault, delaying your aunt, she was so young... Now she has no one to rely on and is still carrying Little Warm." Du Bin paused, looking at the tightly closed door. "Little Warm, she... she is your own younger sister."

  Hongyi clenched his fists, tears streaming down the corners of his eyes as he suppressed his anger and said: "So you're saying you still betrayed Mom, are you?"

  "How could you think that? The thing between me and your aunt happened after your mother passed away!"

  "Who knows, your kids are all grown up now. In the six years you've been away from home, I'm sure you haven't lacked warmth at home either. How disgusting."

  "Hongyi!" A wave of desolation and heartache surged in Du Bin's heart, but he couldn't vent his anger on this child. For this child, he not only felt love, but also deep guilt.

  Hongyi took a deep breath in the dark room and said weakly, "Even if it's after mom passed away, but you found another woman soon after mom passed away, are you still human? Do you have the face to come ask me for forgiveness?"

  The anger that was gradually rising in his heart wasn't without reason. Hongyi lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling, and outside the window, the sky had just begun to brighten up. He hadn't expected that after going through what happened last night, he could still fall asleep, and even had a very long dream.

  I remember my mother saying that when I was still in her womb, my father would come close to her swollen belly every morning and say: "Hey! General! Good morning!" Then I would kick my mother's belly as a response, this little action always made my father laugh out loud.

  As he thought about it, Hongyi himself didn't notice that the corners of his mouth had slightly curled up. Recalling past events always brought warmth, as if the changes in reality were just a dream, and everything would return to its original state after waking up. His feelings towards his father were complex yet singular - complex because he not only harbored hatred but also occasional, inexplicable heartache; singular because no matter what happened, he was still his father, and he couldn't bear to see him unhappy. That woman had effortlessly entered their home, freely enjoying everything that originally belonged to his mother. How could he not hate her? As for the sudden appearance of a younger sister, he couldn't bring himself to dislike her - thinking about her big, shining eyes made his heart soften; her eyes were as clear as his own when he was young. It's precisely because many emotions in this world can't be normally explained that life becomes extraordinary.

  Hongyi stood in front of the bathroom mirror, looking at his reflection. A small stubble had already appeared on his upper lip, and when he touched it with his hand, it felt a bit prickly. Hongyi smiled wryly to himself, thinking that growing up was indeed relentless. Although he still looked like a young boy, adding a beard made him look like a mature little adult.

  After some thought, he picked up the razor and carefully shaved off the stubble. The unfamiliar motion made him feel frustrated, when suddenly there was a knock at the door. His heart skipped a beat, and his hand holding the razor trembled, causing the sharp blade to easily cut through his skin. Blood rushed out of the wound.

  He quickly grabbed some water to rinse the wound, then opened the door and looked down at the timid little girl standing outside. "You knocked?"

  Xiao Nuan nodded slightly and looked up at him, "Brother, breakfast is ready."

  "Hmm." Hongyi casually put on his clothes and bent down to look for his shoes.

  "Brother," said Xiaonu, pointing at Hongyi's chin, "your chin is bleeding, does it hurt?"

  Hongyi took some tissue paper to wipe his nose and said casually, "Isn't it all your fault?" The surroundings suddenly fell silent. Hongyi turned around to see that Xiaonu had already reddened her eyes, pouted her mouth, and put on a I-was-wrong-you-can-hit-me expression.

  He chuckled and bent down to pinch her chubby cheeks, "I was just joking with you, sis."

  Maybe by nature, I'm a kind-hearted guy who finds it hard to hate someone. Even when I feel wronged and have every reason to hate, my heart softens the moment I see those same clear eyes. From then on, apart from Lan, there's another person I want to love. Thinking this way, the long-forgotten feeling of happiness slowly fills my chest.