Volume 1 Chapter 2
The third person
I was born in 1982 in a small mountain village.
My childhood was spent there, and the vast sky of that place shaped my future free-spirited nature. Now thinking back, I really had a happy childhood - catching crayfish in summer and having snowball fights in winter. But people can't stay in their childhood forever. At 6 years old, I went to town to attend elementary school.
When I was in elementary school, I was a top student and even won the title of "Three Good Student". At that time, I started reading extracurricular books and became addicted to them. Every night, I would snuggle under my blanket and read until midnight, truly admiring my own eyes for being able to withstand such intense reading without getting tired. However, my parents wouldn't allow it and would often take away my book when they saw me getting too engrossed, forcing me to sleep. So, I would wait until they fell asleep before turning on the desk lamp to continue reading. I read all kinds of books except for two types: foreign classics and essay writing guides. Back then, I thought that those highly-acclaimed novels were too verbose, overly emphasizing ideology, and some translations were even awkward to read. After reading a few, I felt like it was a waste of time. To this day, I still haven't finished reading a single foreign classic. As for essay writing guides, I didn't like them because the sample essays were all clichés, repetitive, and insincere. Although our school required us to buy those books, I ended up folding them into paper airplanes later on.
My compositions in elementary school were not outstanding, the reason is simple - off-topic. Often writing halfway and unknowingly deviating from the topic, and the grid on the test paper was not enough for me to write freely, usually just starting and only four or five grids were left.
My junior high school was a turning point. I transferred to a good school in the county town, and my Chinese teacher was the vice principal. He read my first composition "I" and couldn't stop praising me, saying I was a genius. But at the same time, my science grades began to decline. Coincidentally, I entered a special class, and on our first exam, I scored 273 points in three subjects, averaging over 90 points per subject, which wasn't bad. I estimated that I should be among the top five in the class, but when I looked at the score sheet, I was stunned to find myself ranked 42nd, almost at the bottom. Later, I started submitting my work for publication. The motivation behind this was laughable - it was just because I temporarily lacked money. Within a week, I wrote over a dozen essays and sent them to two publications in Jiangsu and Shanghai: "Youth Literature" and "Contemporary Students". I thought that if I mailed them today, the payment would arrive within a couple of weeks. The first response I received was from Teacher Rao Xue of Jiangsu's "Youth Literature", who encouraged me, saying my writing was great and decided to publish it. So, it can be said that my literary path began with "Youth Literature". What I admire most about "Youth Literature" is its respect for the original work, rarely making deletions or modifications, preserving the original flavor. A few months later, I saw an article in "Young Boys and Girls" that was well-written and seemed to be in my style. I wanted to see the author's name, but when I looked, my eyes widened - it was actually my own article! The extent of the deletions and modifications was evident.
After publishing "Fool", I was very happy to go out and have a meal to celebrate myself. Two months later, I published an article saying that our class teacher, who is also the math teacher, read my article and felt disgusted because I never liked flattering people all the time, and at the end of the article, I expressed my determination to learn from him. The class teacher said that my writing was inferior. I was so angry that I declared that in the next 100 years, not a single article from our junior high school would be able to pass, thanks to me, Han Mouren. I detest the so-called truth of being a person - "being smooth and hypocritical is true, flattering all sides". When others praise you, you have to say that you are not good, even if others are not good, you still have to praise them, saying "you are better than me". Plus, I was born with a nature that doesn't like to be confined, often violating class rules, and the class teacher would often punish me by making me copy the class rules 20 times. I had no choice but to hold three pens at once. I often told people that my good handwriting was practiced this way.
I was once forced to drop out of a long-distance running competition because I wasn't good at it. However, the day before, I had been mysteriously punished and made to stand for four classes, which left my legs numb. Yet, I unexpectedly took the lead and won the championship, leaving the whole school in shock. From then on, I consistently came in first place in every long-distance running competition, including the district ones. In fact, one often doesn't know their own potential and has to rely on themselves to discover it.
Before the high school entrance exam, I desperately made up for my weakness in science. The Shanghai high school entrance exam stipulates that each of the three subjects - Chinese, mathematics and foreign language - is worth 120 points. To my surprise, I scored 115 points in math. What's even more surprising is that I got 94 points in Chinese, and when I checked the scoring, I found that my composition had been deducted by over ten points, probably because I didn't write about the bright side of things.
Luckily, my 1500m running record of under 5 minutes (Shanghainese people generally run slower) got me into the municipal key high school - Songjiang No.2 Middle School as a sports recruit. After entering Songjiang No.2 Middle School, I had to board at school without parental supervision, which was very happy for me. Every day, I would attend classes and read books, and after class, I would read books in the library until they were all gone, so I had to beg my teachers to open up the archives for me. At noon, while eating bread, I would read "The Twenty-Four Histories". To avoid having a writing style like everyone else's, I almost never read other people's literary articles; instead, I would choose a dictionary or lexicon to read in my free time.
After reading the book, I'm too lazy to write. What I hate most is that others read a book and then show off like a hen laying eggs. I give myself a nice name, saying that I read more and write less.
My personality has too many rebellious factors, so my articles have always been aggressive. Several senior Chinese teachers at Songjiang No. 2 Middle School have been criticized by me. I like to find errors in all kinds of books, even textbooks. My classmates often read my diary and said: "Han Han scolds well! He scolded out our inner voice!" I think this sentence is very ridiculous. If so, why don't you dare to point it out? There are many righteous people in the world, why are there so many cases of not saving people who are dying in news reports? All these come from the cowardice and fear of trouble in human nature. After passing Songjiang No. 2 Middle School, I was very curious about the broadcasting station, chorus, literary society, and school newspaper editing department. I participated in all of them, but later quit one by one because they took up too much time and had endless meetings. I hate clichés. Opening a meeting requires thanking for half a day, discussing for half a day after thanking, and truly discussing the content after the meeting! I really admire them. From a game of chess, they can see the prosperity of science and education, national tradition; from a small paper lacking creativity, they can reflect the achievements of 20 years of reform and opening up... I think I am knowledgeable about ancient and modern times, but my imagination is not as good as theirs. I sighed that I was not as good as them, and my level was limited, so it's better to quit and read some books with a peaceful mind.
I think how to write a good or bad article is not necessarily heard in composition class, but often comes from reading various books. The more you read, the more naturally you can write with a touch of elegance without overdoing it. A famous teacher does not necessarily produce excellent students.
There is a contradiction: the truth is often in the hands of a few, but the minority must obey the majority. In the end, is the truth still in the hands of the majority? The so-called "public opinion" is formed in this way. The first person says something and the second person hears it and joins in. At this time, the third person objects, while the fourth person sees that one side has two people and the other side only has one person, so he follows the side with two people. It can be seen that not everyone on the side with many voices necessarily has their own thoughts, but rather many are following the crowd.
I am the third person. Although I may be annoying, I have always stuck to my style. My teacher often says that I am not respectful and that my moral character is "good". I don't care about this - a person's moral character can't be summarized as good, average or bad. Many people advise me: "You are too straightforward and won't make it in life!" - the power of public opinion is too great, even the concept of "being human" can be distorted. I just follow my own path, occasionally being forced to study hard to pass exams. I am grateful to two people: first, myself for reading many books; second, my father for allowing me to read many books. Supplement: This text was written under duress, at the time I thought that reading was the most important thing. Later, I realized that it's not necessarily so.
