Volume 1 Chapter 6
Those things those people
The longing for dormitory life is because in the past, I thought that living in a dorm and renting a house outside were the same thing, thinking that living in school was extremely free. After living in a dorm for a year, I realized that it's completely different from renting a house. In your own rented house, as long as you don't demolish the house, no one will bother you with what you do at night. In the dormitory, there are many disciplinary rules. I've read through these rules and compared them to myself, and except for not carrying controlled knives, everything else is against the rules.
When I first entered the second middle school, I was full of curiosity about dorm life, especially when I heard that the dorms in the second middle school were standard two-bedroom suites. It's a great pleasure to have a two-bedroom suite with a double toilet bathroom all to oneself. But after moving in, I realized that the two-bedroom suite wasn't a joke, but rather 16 people sharing it together. We spent a year and a half together, laughing, arguing, and fighting, but whether anyone cried is a secret known only to their pillow. Now when I sit down and think about it, those brothers and their characteristic expressions are still vivid in my mind. Although we've changed dorms and have new brothers now, it's just as interesting. The biggest joy is that near our dorm, there appeared a "Midnight Coughing King". That kid had a peculiar habit - every time the lights went out in the dorm an hour later, he would let out three loud coughs that could be heard throughout the entire Songjiang district. For several months, without fail, rain or shine, it was more punctual than a rooster's crow and became the signal for the start of our midnight music program. Now thinking back, maybe it was nothing special, but decades later, hearing it again might evoke memories and become a nostalgic memory from a certain period in time. To remember this, I think it's necessary to write down this little anecdote so that when we're bored, we can chat about it and have a good laugh.
Jiezi is our dormitory head. Jiezi is a good dormitory head who never allows us to make loud noises, mainly because it will affect his own sleep. Jiezi, like all simple and honest laborers, rises with the sun and rests with the sunset, living a very regular life, which sets a good example for us to some extent.
In the boys' dormitory 205, Jiezi is the most unsociable person and also the most innocent. He has never seen any romantic affairs. However, Jiezi holds the power of communication because he is in charge of managing the mailbox and telephone. Unfortunately, there are never any letters or phone calls for him. People living in such a situation can easily become mentally abnormal, so we worry that one day Jiezi will lose his balance and do something crazy like swallowing a telephone. Fortunately, Jiezi has not.
The class monitor is one of the few male cadres in our class. I thought that being a class monitor was the highest position, but unexpectedly, there is another person above him - the league branch secretary. In fact, the actual power of the class monitor is not even as great as that of the dormitory head, and it's not even comparable to the person in charge of the TV set. The only task of the class monitor is to attend various meetings at school, take detailed notes, and then pass them on. The cadres from the student union often summon the class monitors every other day just to get a taste of being a cadre; otherwise, they would have nothing to do.
In the second half of 1999, the class monitor's father died in a car accident and the class monitor was heartbroken. At the same time, the propaganda committee member Mu De had to take over the class monitor's duties for a period of time. Originally thought that after the class monitor returned, there would be great changes in his personality, but unexpectedly, the class monitor was very strong.
In the past, we often made jokes about our class monitor. After his father passed away, such jokes gradually decreased. Although the class monitor seemed unchanged, from his frequent blank and inexplicable stares, we could vaguely see the impact of his father's death on him.
"The Madman" was actually not mad, we just used to add a "zi" after the surname as a respectful title. The "Madman" is a standard unkempt man whose head can be used to fly a kite and his whiskers can be used for fishing. Although the "Madman" is only 1.6 meters tall, he can't be beaten by one or two "saints". In 1999, our dormitory was popular with boxing, and a little boy next door called himself "Bodybuilding No. 1", but his biceps were bigger than his head, and he was actually beaten by the "Madman" until he was toothless.
The "madman"'s bed was poorly located, closest to the door. The problem was that the door was closest to the light switch. In the second half of the semester, Jiezi contracted a strange illness called "extinguishing lights syndrome". Every time the lights were turned off, he would get excited and couldn't help but praise the light, whip the darkness, and recite poetry nonstop. As a result, the task of turning off the lights fell on the "madman"'s head. The "madman" had short hands, and every time he turned off the lights, it was like he was going to die, with extreme pain. Especially on cold winter nights, the "madman" longed for his quilt even more. This made our dorm often lose a point because of late light-out.
"The Madman" is most notable in football. "The Madman"'s playing style is as rough and wild as his appearance, often flying kicks the ball even when it's several meters away from his body. We dare not get close to "The Madman" while playing, lest we lose our limbs. "The Madman" always brings the ball out of bounds, often in situations where no one is defending. Given his overall poor abilities, we assigned "The Madman" as a defender. The opposing team's forwards would see "The Madman" and deliberately avoid him to prevent shortening their lifespan. However, our football team ultimately failed to advance to the inter-school league playoffs, which became my biggest regret of the previous year.
After saying "crazy", it's my deskmate - Lezi. He is my first male deskmate. Lezi's stubborn spirit is often used for studying. A difficult question that can kill people, he won't go to the toilet until he figures it out, so Lezi often gets inspiration and urine at the same time. For example, in order to improve his handwriting, Lezi would hold his breath before writing, write a line, and then breathe again. So for a period of time, our classroom often felt like there was a cow inside.
Lèzi always taught me his "not dead until the Yellow River dries up" philosophy, saying that in everything one must be persistent. He also quoted a Western celebrity saying "once I decide on something, cannons can't move me". Lèzi often instructed me to have a tough work style, like a wall. Recently, after seeing many reports about tofu-dreg projects, he changed his words and said to be like a wall with good construction quality.
Junzi is the strongest in our dormitory. He is famous for his muscular build and love of drinking noodle soup. Muscle is Junzi's painstakingly crafted treasure, which he values more than his life. As soon as he enters the dormitory, he will eagerly show off his physical beauty. Unfortunately, due to school rules, he can't just wear underwear to class. However, what contradicts Junzi's muscular build is his love of drinking noodle soup. Our dormitory has a habit of eating instant noodles every night, and after finishing the noodles, there are countless leftover soups. At this time, as long as you loudly call out "Junzi", he will immediately appear in front of your bowl... and drink it all up. Junzi says that seven parts nutrition comes from six parts soup. Soup is the source of life, with great significance. No wonder Junzi is so strong, all thanks to the nourishment of six parts soup.
Junzi's grades weren't very good, barely passing and having a hard time upgrading just like me. In the last few days before the exam, I, Junzi, and Danyang, who had equally bad grades, stayed up all night together. I remember one rainy evening when we flew out to buy potstickers as a midnight snack, but they were so delicious that we finished them off in no time. Staying up late was really tough; we had to move our desks and chairs into the hallway just to get some light. The dim 40-watt bulbs made our eyes ache, but the only comfort was Ye Sha's voice on the midnight radio program echoing through the darkness, adding a touch of tragic color to the scene. We flipped through books, wrote letters, chatted idly, bragged, complained, sighed, sat silently, drank tea, rubbed our heads, stomped our feet, took cold showers, listened to the rain, closed windows, opened doors, daydreamed, and played cards until we were crazy with exhaustion. Later on, many foolish people probably thought it was a great idea to stay up late too, so they came to join us, but that would have been no different from being in class. The result of staying up late was that there was no result. Junzi pessimistically concluded that many efforts are fruitless. Nevertheless, that little guy still managed to upgrade after much difficulty and hardship. But we didn't end up going out to eat potstickers to celebrate like we had planned beforehand; I don't know if Junzi came up with another truth: Many promises have no follow-through.
A week later, I took a roll of film in the dormitory and strung it together to tell the story of the dormitory. The photos captured the voices and laughter of my comrades. In one photo, "Fengzi" and Lezi were closing their eyes as if daydreaming; Junzi's chest muscles were covered by Jiezi's head, which made Junzi very annoyed. I retreated too late to take a side shot; Danping looked silly enough to make others lose their identity; An was pushed by someone and had an expression as if he was about to fly away. The smiling faces and non-smiling faces framed in the photos will be deeply remembered along with many happy and unhappy memories.
Now my dormitory is next to the old dormitory, those kids are getting more and more lovely. That day, someone suddenly had an epiphany and came up with the division of o1 and o2, which we call Dong 1 and Dong 2. Now it's already divided into Dong 10, that is, o1o. However, Dong 2 wants to be called Dong 1. I'm in charge of the password, my original password was "Don't ask me where I'm going", the response was "My hometown is in Shanxi". But I think it's too rustic, so now I've changed the password to "Drinking our wine", the response is "Vomiting and diarrhea are funny". It has been officially confirmed. We agreed that when we encounter difficulties, we will face them together, and when we have good fortune, we will enjoy it separately.
Dong Er is Xiao Liu. Xiao Liu is quite avant-garde, but unfortunately, the only thing that can be said about him is that his alarm clock only makes a "drip drip" sound at 6 am to wake people up, and it doesn't make any other noise at any other time. Xiao Liu is very active, and last time he caused a big disaster in the boys' dormitory because of his love for activity. At that time, Xiao Liu was kicking "Wenzi's" bed, but unexpectedly kicked the bed board away, causing the bed to fall down. Wenzi was lucky not to have been killed, but was spiritually traumatized and couldn't distinguish between subject, verb, and object for a while. Xiao Liu, on the other hand, was pressed under the bed board, curled up his limbs, and didn't come out until half a day later, saying "It's so cool!" It can be seen that Xiao Liu's ability to withstand beating is still very strong. But you don't know that Xiao Liu's most terrifying place is when he makes phone calls. If there isn't an objective reason like the lights being turned off or urgent need to use the bathroom, he can talk on the phone until it's broken before stopping.
The doctor is my fellow townsman, compared to Xiaoliu, he has more guards. The reason why the doctor is called a doctor is that he said he knew the answers to all the questions asked in "Star Fighting Platform". Later, it was found out that this was fake, and the doctor couldn't even name the seven continents and nine planets. The doctor is a lively person who likes to tell jokes, but his jokes are like sad stories, no one laughs after hearing them except for himself. However, the doctor's good point is that he plays the harmonica well - not just one or two tunes. I remember on a Sunday, the doctor brought many colorful sticks from home, we initially thought they were for drying clothes, later guessing that the doctor was going to use them to improve his diet by fishing in the pond of the Second Middle School or hunting sparrows on the grassland. Unexpectedly, the doctor picked one up and put it to his mouth. We were shocked, thinking the doctor was going to swallow the stick and kill himself, but unexpectedly, the doctor blew out a beautiful melody, and we finally understood what it was. Unfortunately, after two years of hard study, the doctor only knew how to play one tune that reflected the happy grazing of cattle and horses on the grassland.
Then the doctor took this flute and blew it through various fellowship meetings in the class, and at first, everyone was amazed and praised the doctor for blowing a good flute.
The doctoral student next to me is "Wénzi". "Wénzi" was the first person I met. At that time, a roommate in the adjacent dormitory room praised "Wénzi" to the sky, saying that he was a literary genius of his generation, which made me want to meet him. After meeting, it turned out that "Wénzi" was just so-so.
"Mosquito" is obviously the kind of elementary school student who will grow up to be a big deal, so he diligently practices writing and studies hard. "Mosquito"'s reading can be described as meticulous and detailed. In the morning, I give him a book and ask how many pages he has read, and he replies that he has read over 100 pages; in the afternoon, when I ask again, he has surprisingly read up to 90-odd pages. I say to "Mosquito", "Your way of reading is not good, starting from the end and going back to the beginning, you won't even understand what you're reading."
The interpretation of "mosquito" is that the most exciting part of a book is on its buttocks. This phrase, which came from who-knows-where, has obviously been misinterpreted. It's true that it's on the buttocks, but the buttocks are located in the middle of the human body.
"After reading Ba Ta's book, I became interested in Zhang Ailing. I bought a set of "Notes on the Blind" and studied it for half a day, finally learning to look at things with a connected perspective. Now, the female writer Ye Qingsong is almost over a hundred years old, no wonder she is known as an evergreen tree in the literary world. I was shocked, I didn't think Ye Qingsong was already so old, no wonder her essays about small women are particularly mature, it's just that they are written by an old woman."
I asked "Mosquito" how did you know? "Mosquito" said because Zhang Ailing has a book called "Love in a Fallen City". So I understood everything. I said you can't guess the meaning, go read it when you're free.
Those days our dormitory was popular with high jump touch beam can't kick out of the ranks of men. "Mosquito" touched a few times, crying and shouting that he wasn't a man, went to the balcony. The most masculine in our dormitory is Xiao Zhi, who can jump up and clear one hand. To introduce Xiao Zhi, we have to start with his basketball skills. Xiao Zhi is a scoring-type player, when playing basketball, he almost doesn't move, stuck under the opponent's basket for half a day without moving, until a teammate passes the ball to him, then he takes another step and scores. This obviously ruins the watchability of basketball, so we punish him by not allowing him to enter the free throw line. Xiao Zhi can only practice his mid-range shots. Xiao Zhi's catchphrase is "too embarrassing", which sounds very interesting when he says it with a twist. Now Xiao Zhi has moved out of the dormitory and lives in a new home, and we can no longer hear him say "too embarrassing".
Xiao Qing is a self-proclaimed humorous person. He thinks that the humor in the world can be divided into 10 points, with him having 5 points, his friend Gang having 4 points, and the rest of the people sharing 1 point. This reminds us of the historical allusion "talent as high as eight dou". He often says "Today I'm a bit more humorous than you, Brother Han", and I can only admit it. Xiao Qing loves to sing songs, but he always sings in one tone, never leaving that note, with only slight variations in emphasis, without any difference in pitch. His signature phrase is from the theme song of some TV series "A Tale of Two Cities" - "Hong Xing Si Mian Ba Fang".
Jia Jia and Nai Tang have a similar name, but also have a gentle and elegant womanly appearance. Jia Jia's specialty is that she loves to strike poses and once she strikes a pose, no matter how many people try to knock her out of it, they can't. Recently, she has also fallen in love with singing, learning from Xiao Qing. The amazing thing about her singing is that she goes off-key in a way that others can't even imitate, and even when she's just humming in class, it's still not okay. This is what you call "transcending the level".
"Big Plate Duck" is the earliest riser in our dormitory. He got his name because once he brought back a plate duck from Nanjing, which was incredibly delicious and left a deep impression on us. So whenever we see him, we think of the plate duck. As for the "big" character, it's simply because he went to Australia once and came back with a big version of the plate duck, so we combined the two words "big vendor" and "plate duck" to call him "Big Plate Duck". Big Plate Duck is generous and always shares his food with others, never eating alone. Last night was my last night in the dormitory, everyone gathered together and chatted until midnight. From now on, I'll be moving to room 101 downstairs, and every night before sleep, I told those guys to definitely stomp three times as a way of saying goodbye.
