Chapter 4, Part 2 I finally cleared up the last thing he left me. Exactly one year after graduation, Zheng Wei was blown away by a red missile and became dizzy. He Luoyan, who returned to her hometown to teach, and her senior fellow Shu Cheng, got married on a weekend in July. Except for Li Weijuan in Beijing and Zhu Xiaobei in Xinjiang, the other three people all appeared at the wedding scene in the small town on time. After graduating, Zhuo Mei gained weight and registered with an ideal object introduced by her family, saying that she didn't love him much, but life was still stable and comfortable. Zheng Wei and Ruan Ruan met again, and the two were inseparable. They both sighed, indeed, the simpler a person is, the easier it is to obtain happiness. He Luoyan was the same, she who said she wouldn't fall in love during college was the first to get married, looking at her leaning against her honest and simple senior fellow, smiling faintly in their simple new home, this kind of happy woman's radiance made her, who was not outstanding in 402, look so dazzling. Beautiful Ruan Ruan, lovely Zheng Wei, lost color in front of her at that moment. He Luoyan's love is like a small stream, flowing into the river, while those turbulent loves are far from eternal. Ruan Ruan said it right, in love, the heart and blood you put in and the happiness you gain never balance out, the more you want to love someone, the less you get loved.

  At night, except for Zhu Mei Xi who returned home after the banquet, Ruan Ruan and Zheng Wei stayed in the town at Lü Yā's invitation. Li Wei Juan called and taught Lü Yā many secrets of controlling the family finances after marriage, finally sighing, "You are the first one among our 'Six Great Queens' to get married, I really hope that with your good fortune, each of us can find a good home, one better than the last." The three listened and smiled at each other.

  Then it was Zhu Xiaobei on the phone, and Zheng Wei yelled into the receiver, "Zhu Xiaobei, are you tired of eating raisins? I'm going to die from missing you!"

  Zhu Xiaobei's laughter was as crisp as ever, she said: "Do you know where I am now? I just came back from having dinner at my first love's house... Hehe, don't rush to envy me, today is his son's 100th day banquet, he married a local Uyghur girl and had a child who looks like a mixed-blood... As someone with such excellent genes, I have to admit that even if it were my child with him, it would not be possible for them to look better than this kid. He's doing well, I'm really happy, Lüyun, you're married, I'm happy for you too... I'm really happy..."

  After sending the happy bride and groom back to their bridal chamber, Ruan Ruan and Zheng Wei strolled back to the reception venue in town. Ruan Ruan suddenly said, "Weiwei, after we get back I'll take some time off to stay with you for a few days, is that okay?"

  Zheng Wei laughed loudly, "This is great... but don't you have work?"?

  Ruan Ruan said, "I'm pregnant, Weiwei."

  ……?

  Zheng Wei took two steps back, looking at Ruan Ruan with an incredulous gaze, "Really, really, Ruan Ruan, you're really going to be a mom? It's too amazing!" She gazed joyfully yet cautiously at her friend's still-flat belly.

  Ruan Ruan just smiled and Zheng Wei, who was overjoyed, suddenly felt something was off. She asked tentatively, "Ruan Ruan, did you tell Zhao Shi Yong?"

  Ruan nodded first, then shook her head. Zheng Wei was puzzled, "Did you say it or not?"?

  "I saw him just the other day, and I said to him, Shi Yong, I might be pregnant. He was so scared that his face turned pale, he couldn't even speak clearly, all he could do was repeat over and over again, 'No way, no way, we took precautions...' Ruan Ruan shook her head with a smile, 'I knew he was still like an immature kid, but seeing this scene, I'm still disappointed. So later on, I told him it was just a joke to tease him, only then did he feel relieved."

  Zheng Wei was furious, "This damned Zhao Shi Yong, if he hadn't done such a good deed, how would there be a child? And yet he doesn't even have this bit of conscience. Ruan Ruan, how can you joke about it? This is such a big thing, you must tell him to get married immediately, even if his family is unreasonable now, they have no reason to stop you two anymore."

  Ruan Ruan said, "I won't marry him."

  "What's wrong with him?" Zheng Wei said angrily. "Things have come to this point and he still doesn't want to get married? I won't be the first to forgive him!"

  "I understand Shiyong, if I said let's get married for the sake of the child, he would agree. The problem isn't with him, it's me, Weiwei, I just can't marry him anymore. In that moment when I told him I was pregnant and he panicked, my love for him died completely. All these years, I've been patching up this relationship, not wanting to leave him because I cherished the best feelings from my youth. Now I realize, this relationship was never what I imagined it to be. I've grown up, but he hasn't."

  "But you still have children, that stinky man can be abandoned, but what about the children?" Zheng Wei worried.

  Ruan Ruan placed her hand on her lower abdomen, as if to feel the faint sensation coming from there. Her expression unconsciously softened, but she said, "Unfortunately, it's not the right time. I love children, but I'm just an ordinary woman, I don't have the means to be great. I don't want to suffer, I don't want to endure hardships for this impulse. The price is too high. Weiwei, I want to get rid of it. That's why I need to stay with you for a few days."

  Zheng Wei grasped Ruan Ruan's hand and choked with sobs, "Don't worry, I'm still here, I'll always be with you."

  Sometimes a drop of water splashed onto the tightly clasped hands of the two girls, warm when it fell, instantly cold, and no one knew whose tears they were.

  Back in G City, Zheng Wei accompanied Ruan Ruan to the best hospital affiliated with the Medical University, where they did another round of early pregnancy tests. The results confirmed that she was pregnant and estimated that it had been around 45 days. A middle-aged female doctor looked down at the medical records, not lifting her head as she asked: "Are you going to give birth or have an abortion?" Her tone was indifferent and cold, as if what was in Ruan Ruan's belly wasn't a life about to take shape, but a tumor.

  Ruan Ruan gritted her teeth, "Get rid of it."

  Because the fetus was less than 50 days old, it could still be aborted with medication. As they walked out of the clinic, Ruan Ruan suddenly looked a bit weak, so Zheng Wei had her sit down in the corridor while she went to line up for the medication. That night, in Zheng Wei's dorm room, Ruan Ruan sat alone at her desk for a long time before taking advantage of Zheng Wei's absence to go get water and swallowing the medicine in one gulp with the beer that was open on the table. She still remembered how Zhao Shi Yong had taught her to drink beer for the first time, saying that although the taste was bitter at first, if you let it flow gently over your tongue and savored it carefully, a delicate flower would bloom on your tongue. Now that flower had wilted, leaving only bitterness and a dull, flat taste in her mouth.

  The next day, back at the hospital, in the obstetrics department's special medication rest room, Ruan Ruan swallowed her second pill. Her contractions came on faster and stronger than those of the other ten or so patients in the same ward who were also undergoing induced labor. The other female patients all had their husbands or boyfriends with them, but Ruan Ruan was alone except for Zheng Wei. Zheng Wei sat on the edge of the bed, watching as Ruan Ruan curled up tightly against the wall, not making a sound, her hair on either side of her face wet with sweat and stuck to her pale face.

  Zheng Wei was frightened and rushed to the neighboring consulting room, telling the doctor on duty about the situation. The doctor merely said calmly that people's physical constitutions are different, and their reactions after taking medicine can be vastly different. Some people may only feel like they've had a light period, while others may feel like they're in agony, as if they've been to the gates of hell and back. It's all normal phenomena, no need to make a big fuss. Zheng Wei was furious and anxious, but she restrained herself, knowing it wouldn't be wise to clash with the doctor at this time. She could only stand guard beside Ruan Ruan, praying for time to pass quickly. Half an hour later, Ruan Ruan struggled to sit up and asked Zheng Wei to accompany her to the bathroom. She locked the door and stayed inside for a long time, leaving Zheng Wei worried and unable to urge her on. After about ten minutes, Ruan Ruan finally emerged, looking like she had been drenched in water, with a wad of white tissue paper in her hand. With Zheng Wei's support, she returned to the consulting room, where the doctor opened up the tissue paper to reveal a small piece of flesh covered in blood inside. The doctor then took out a cotton swab and casually examined it for a while.

  Every time she moved, Zheng Wei felt her heart tighten violently, and after a few times, she could hardly breathe. Ruan Ruan, on the other hand, looked at the doctor's movements with a weak and calm gaze, as if watching someone else's game.

  "Alright, the embryo has been completely expelled. You can go now. Go back and take your medication as prescribed, rest for a few days and you'll be fine."

  The two had just walked to the door when they were stopped by the doctor, "Oh, take this away and throw it in the trash can in front of the bathroom up ahead."

  Ruan Ruan held it in her hand, and when she passed by the bathroom, she gently threw it into the trash can. After walking a few steps, Zheng Wei couldn't help but turn around, but Ruan Ruan stopped her, "Don't look back."

  Until she walked out of the hospital gate, Zheng Weiyou still felt incredulous. A life was just snuffed out like that, simply because it appeared at the wrong time? As if seeing through her thoughts, Ruan Ruan, who was walking a bit unsteadily, said to her, "It's cruel, isn't it? We didn't know before that emotions could also be bloody. It's good this way, I've cleared up the last thing he left me."

  Zheng Wei was speechless and just spaced out when she heard a man walking towards her call out, "Ha, it's you, crybaby!"?

  She looked around, except for them there was no one else, but the man had a completely unfamiliar face, she furrowed her brow in confusion, "Are you talking to me... who are you? Mistaken person?"

  That man burst out laughing, "How could I have mistaken you? Even if I turned to ashes, I would still recognize you. It was either four or five years ago, anyway it was when I was in my second year of graduate studies. You were in my dormitory, squatting in front of me, clutching my pants and crying so hard that the mountains shook and the birds and beasts were frightened. In the end, it was I who invited you onto the bus. You may have forgotten, but I haven't. After you finished crying, you patted your butt and left. For several months after that, I became notorious in that building as a heartless man. It took me a long time to explain things clearly to my girlfriend."

  Zheng Wei's face turned red and white alternately as she thought to herself, "So it was him, Lin Jing's former roommate. This is really embarrassing. If I were to be shameless about it, would he also be at a loss for what to do?"

  The man didn't know what she was thinking and saw her silence, so he automatically assumed that she recognized him and asked familiarly, "What's wrong, are you sick?"

  "Oh, no, just accompanying a friend to see the doctor."

  The man nodded, "So that's it. My wife just gave birth to a son and I'm here to pick her up from the hospital. Isn't Lin Jing coming to pick you up?"

  "Lin... ah?" Zheng Wei was momentarily taken aback, what is going on here?

  The man had always been perceptive, and he immediately sensed that he might have misspoken. "Sorry about that, you weren't with Lin Jing, were you? I thought... the day after you left, Lin Jing called from America and asked me to mail him the children's book he left behind right away. Later, I told him that a little girl who was crying very loudly had taken the book, and he didn't speak for a long time. Didn't you two stay in touch?"

  "Sorry, my friend isn't feeling well, we need to go first."

  "Hey, wait a minute." The man seemed to be familiar with Lin Jing and said another sentence, "Last year when Lin Jing returned to the country, he also said that he wanted to find you, didn't you guys meet up? Where is he now...?"

  "I don't want to know!" Zheng Wei immediately interrupted him, and only then did she feel that her attitude was too harsh. After all, the other person had good intentions, and he had comforted her when she cried in pain. "Sorry, it's already past, I really don't want to know."

  Maybe it's the sensitivity of people who study law, but the man took another look at the girl who had changed beyond recognition, quickly pulled out a pen and note paper from his pocket and wrote down a line of numbers. "Lin Jing's number, you take it, whether or not to contact him is up to you."

  Zheng Wei put her hands behind her back, and Ruan Ruan finally took the paper over. When saying goodbye to the man and getting into the taxi, Ruan Ruan placed the paper on Zheng Wei's leg and said weakly, "Fool, why must you insist on being stubborn for a moment, can't you just get along with yourself?"

  Zheng Wei picked up the paper, crumpled it without looking and threw it out of the car window. As the glass rolled back up, she stared at the reflection on the glass, her eyes seeming to sparkle with tears.

  That person said Lin Jing came back to look for her a year ago, she wasn't surprised, but he had been gone for four years, more than 1460 days. In those days, when she was most heartbroken and desperate, where was he?

  Ruan let out a sigh, "Secretary Zheng, did you know that throwing trash out of the car window is subject to fines?"

  Zheng Wei kept facing the window and didn't speak for a long time. Finally, she said, "If I'm willing to accept the fine, will the police uncle return my evidence?"