Chapter Thirteen: How Easy It Is to Be Happy

  Zheng Wei's phone call ended quickly, and she didn't even think about what he was doing now or if he would come. During the wait, she couldn't hold back the turmoil in her stomach and struggled to walk to the nearby tree to vomit. The scorching throat and convulsing stomach made her feel so uncomfortable that she broke out in cold sweat. For a moment, she wished that if she was really drunk, she would just get thoroughly drunk, without any consciousness or pain.

  However, after vomiting, the cold sweat dried up, leaving only a cool and sticky feeling. She felt a bit more clear-headed, but her head was still heavy as lead. She remembered an important question - on the phone, she had only said that she was in G University, but it was so big, where would he go to find her?

  Zheng muttered to herself in a low voice, sat down and then took out her phone, found the number she had dialed earlier, hesitated when pressing it, and hastily hung up. Maybe she shouldn't have looked for him in the first place, and even if she stayed where she was for a while longer, it wasn't like she couldn't go back.

  The night had deepened, and it was already past the university's curfew time. The couples on the playground had all returned to their nests. On the basketball court at midnight, only she was left - her basketball court, so quiet. Probably also because of the magical effects of alcohol, she didn't feel any fear or anxiety, just wanting to sit there, sitting forever, thinking nothing. After a long time, keeping the same posture for a long time, her legs were numb, and in a daze, she turned her face and said: "A Zheng, Auntie wants to close the door, let's go back."

  A Zheng did not respond to her, and beside her were the long, empty spectator stands. Even if Auntie had left the dormitory door open all night, would they have been able to return?

  Zheng Wei kept his head down, so the first thing she saw was his shoes. She shook her head and slowly raised her gaze along his long legs until that familiar face seemed both far and near in front of her eyes. She chuckled, "Lin Jing, you've finally agreed to come back from America?"

  This joke is quite cold, but Lin Jing still smiled politely.

  "You look terrible," he said.

  Just as his voice fell, he slowly stretched out his hand to her, and she almost simultaneously handed over her hand to his palm. He applied a little force, and she stood up with the momentum, both of them bursting into laughter. When she was young, she used to walk recklessly, only looking forward, never paying attention to her feet, crying loudly when she fell and hurt herself, or refusing to get up even if she wasn't hurt, waiting for Lin Jing to pull her up. At that time, she thought that no matter how hard she fell, he could always lift her up with one hand.

  He patted the dust off her and said, "Can we go now?" Zheng Wei was unusually obedient tonight, she quietly followed him to the car, opened the door, and sat calmly in the passenger seat. Before starting the engine, Lin Jing glanced at her, the wine had dissipated the estrangement after their reunion, but looking at her like this, he couldn't judge whether it was a good thing or a bad thing for a while.

  The car slowly drove out of the G University campus, and just as it was about to enter the neon-lit traffic flow, Chen Xiao Zheng's black sedan suddenly turned back. Fortunately, there were few pedestrians on campus at midnight, so his unusually fast driving speed did not attract anyone's attention.

  He got off the car and walked alone to the empty basketball court. Why had he never noticed before that the empty court was so deserted? The sound of the wind blowing through the leaves was so clear and distinct. He looked around, futilely turning in a circle on the spot, still only him alone. Closing his eyes, it seemed as if he could still hear Zheng Wei whispering in his ear from years ago...

  "A Zheng, you promised me, don't make me wait for you again. I'm afraid I won't have enough courage to keep waiting in the same place, and even more afraid that as we walk, we'll lose each other..."

  He has gone too far, and she can't wait forever at the starting point. Maybe they really won't find each other again. He knew all this long ago; he just looked back regretfully, like a mountaineer climbing up to a destined place, where many hardships are expected along the way, but what shouldn't be done is looking back, because in that instant of looking back, he suddenly realized he was standing on the edge of a cliff.

  He got back in the car, quietly resting his head on the steering wheel. As he drove away, he rolled down all the windows and turned up the music to a boiling point. If he drove fast enough, no one would see the unbridled tears streaming down the face of the calm and collected man.

  Zheng Wei looked out of the window at the passing cars with a dazed expression, and suddenly muttered, "How did you know I was on the basketball court?"

  Lin Jing said lightly, "After circling around for a big round, I finally found it." As he spoke, he took out a bottle of water from beside him and handed it to her.

  Zheng Wei mechanically took a sip of water, then listened to the faint music in the car and hummed along softly. The distance from G Tower to Zhongjian Building was quite long, and the night wind was the best remedy for sobering up. She hoped she could be a bit more dizzy, but after all, she gradually woke up. Suddenly, she felt very grateful to Lin Jing, not because he came all the way to find her in the middle of the night just for a phone call, but because from start to finish, he didn't ask a single question: why was she there? Why did she drink so much? Why alone? She didn't want to answer anything.

  The last intersection, and the road was not a main thoroughfare of the city, so there were not many vehicles on it, nor were there any traffic police on duty. However, when the red light came on, Lin Jing still stopped the car.

  Zheng Wei said, "Actually, there are no electronic police here, if it were me, I would definitely step on the gas and rush past."

  "We know where we are going and since we're not in a hurry, we can completely follow the rules."

  In the pause of their conversation, Zheng Wei secretly took a glance at him and only then discovered that if she looked really bad, he didn't look much better. His usually neat hair was somewhat disheveled, his light beige long-sleeved shirt had a shoulder area full of dried purple-red stains, some of which had splattered onto his chest. When she leaned in closer, she smelled the distinctive aroma of red wine.

  She wanted to ask, but swallowed her words. Lin Jing could keep quiet about things she didn't want to say, why couldn't she? He was no longer the little dragon who recklessly declared his ownership of Lin Jing to everyone, he had his own life now, which was normal since they both grew up.

  It was Lin Jing who noticed her sneaky glances and hesitant words, subconsciously looked at his left shoulder, and smiled wryly, "I was startled by your call and rushed out without changing my clothes."

  Zheng smiled and said, "Has America gotten you into the habit of drinking red wine alone at home in the evenings?"

  He shrugged his shoulders, "This might be a bad habit."

  This time, she let Lin Jing send her to the apartment building without any objection. She was too tired and didn't want to argue about some trivial matters anymore. Before getting out of the car, she hesitated for a moment and looked at him saying "Sorry".

  Lin Jing didn't understand. She drew on the door handle with her finger and said, "I'm referring to that day when you sent me back, what I said to you in the car. At that time, my mood was bad, and the words were very extreme. In fact, I knew I had no right to ask you to do anything for me, nor should I have transferred some unpleasant things to you. You going to America and ignoring me is also justified. After all, it's about Lin Bo Bo... In the past, I was just too used to you..."

  He looked at her, silently listening to her, his focus making her feel a bit embarrassed, feeling that what she said was not getting across, the more she spoke the less right it sounded, and she could only hastily conclude, "I just wanted to say, I shouldn't have gotten angry with you that day."

  Lin Jing smiled with a subtle, enigmatic smile that seemed to hold secrets in his eyes. The dimple on the left side of his cheek and the crease under his chin became particularly noticeable when he smiled. Zheng Wei wondered if Lin's smooth career path was also due to the fact that most criminals were easily swayed by such a charming smile.

  "I... I'm going up, Mouse Treasure has been waiting for me at home for too long, and it's probably getting anxious." She found a perfect excuse for herself, got off the car, and helped him close the door.

  She had said goodbye, but it was clear that he didn't mean to leave immediately, still smiling as he looked at her from the car.

  "It's late, you should go back." She waved her hand at him.

  "He said, 'Don't worry, I'll watch you go upstairs and help me greet your mouse treasure. If there's a chance, I really want to take a look at it.'"

  Zheng Wei scratched his head and chuckled, "It's not that hard to see, it's not very red either. When you're free, I'll invite you up for a cup of tea."

  He said: "Okay, I'm free."

  "Ah?" He replied too smoothly, so Zheng Wei didn't react for a moment, with an awkward smile on her face. There was no tea at all in her place, and she usually didn't even boil water, the fridge was filled with bottled purified water and drinks. The phrase "go upstairs to have some tea" was just a courtesy, everyone said it that way, and they all tacitly understood not to take it literally, had his years abroad made him unable to understand Chinese courtesy?

  If it were someone else, she might have said with a straight face, "You're free, I'm not." But he wasn't just anyone, he was Lin Jing. The memories of eating at his house four times a week as a child still lingered vividly in her mind. She silently scolded herself for speaking out of turn, but the words of refusal couldn't be spoken, so she reluctantly said, "Okay." Turning around to face away from him, she led the way with a sense of regret.

  "This way." She stepped up the stairs before him. This house was an old building from the end of the 90s, and the lights on the staircase had been broken for a long time. The property management didn't care, and the residents were used to it. Zheng Wei's mind was clear, but her footsteps were floating, and she wasn't paying attention. She missed a step and almost fell, but Lin Jing behind her grabbed her hand in time and naturally grasped it tightly in his palm. "It's too dark, this light should be fixed."

  "Yes, it should be fixed." Zheng Wei anxiously agreed, "Oh no, I hope I didn't forget my keys." She said as she pulled her hand out and searched for the keys all the way to the door.

  "It was here all along." She then took out the key. Lin Jing just smiled and said, "A girl living alone should prepare her keys downstairs."

  Zheng Wei responded with a "yeah", opened the door and went in, turned on the light, and Mouse Treasure was still sleeping soundly on top of the refrigerator. Seeing someone, he rarely gave face by moving his noble self to jump down.

  "Mouse Treasure, you also know that Mom is back?" Zheng Wei was surprised and wanted to hug it, but it struggled to get down and kept circling around Lin Jing's feet, occasionally rubbing its head against him. This enthusiastic appearance made Zheng Wei, who was used to having a cold face, stare blankly.

  "Mouse treasure, be dignified." She chuckled at Lin Jing, "I guess it's hungry, it's not usually like this."

  Lin Jing squatted down, scratching Miao Bao's chin, and it closed its eyes contentedly, making a humming sound. Zheng Wei couldn't help but look away at the sight of Lin Jing's fawning behavior. She took advantage of the moment to push open the door and block Lin Jing outside. "You wait for a bit, I'll tidy up," she said. Her place was like most bachelors', with all daily activities taking place in her own room. The living room was just an extra decoration, empty except for the refrigerator, but now it had become Miao Bao's territory, littered with its toys and shredded newspaper.

  She hastily stuffed the underwear, stockings and clothes on the bed into all possible hiding places, then gathered the scattered snacks and magazines in a heap. In her flurry, she almost tripped over the high-heeled shoes in the middle of the room, muttered a low curse, only to discover that Mouse had somehow pushed open the slightly ajar door and was standing at the entrance with an enigmatic smile.

  "Have you tidied up your boudoir?" he said with a leisurely tone.

  Zheng Wei's face suddenly turned red, and she had originally wanted to embellish a few more sentences. But as the words reached her lips, she suddenly felt a surge of anger and her words became jumbled. She had always been like this, and hadn't expected him to have any expectations of her either. So she simply didn't bother to tidy up anymore, only making an effort to clear out the one armchair in the room that was covered in clothes for her. "That's it, just make do with this, I've never had anyone else come over except for my former roommate's husband."

  Lin quietly stepped over the high-heeled shoes scattered on the floor, looked at the chair piled with clothes and said, "Don't clean up, I'll just sit for a bit, have a cup of tea and then leave." Her bed had a blanket rolled into a ball, her laptop was propped against the pillow, it was clear that this was where she fought and lived. Faced with this messy scene, he didn't feel anything strange, the grown-up her still hadn't made any progress in this aspect, but thinking about Secretary Zheng walking out of such a doghouse every day to go to work looking radiant and bright, he couldn't help but want to laugh. He pointed at the bedside, "Do you mind if I sit here?"

  Zheng Wei was already preoccupied, and now she was even more flustered as she hastily tidied up. That bed had always served as her bed, desk, and sofa all in one. She nodded hurriedly, "You sit down, I'll turn on the computer, you can play some music, what do you want to drink?"

  "No need to bother, ordinary green tea is fine." Lin Jing found the MP3 player on her computer, and only after the music floated out did he realize she was still standing silently at the door.

  He immediately understood, "No green tea is fine, what do you have?"

  Zheng Wei walked out and took a look at the refrigerator, "Uh, there's iced purified water and un-iced purified water."

  "Whatever you say, I'll drink what you usually drink."

  Zheng Wei handed him a glass of water and he took it, saying "You'd better go wash your face."

  She took a glance at herself in the mirror, and was startled. The person in the mirror had disheveled hair, smudged mascara, and the light layer of powder she had carefully applied before leaving the house was now patchy. This was not the beautiful and intelligent Zheng Wei, but a ghost.

  She covered her face and ran to the bathroom like she was escaping, and when she came out after tidying up, Lin Jing was sitting on the edge of the bed with a fashion magazine that had been beside her pillow.

  The water has been drunk, now it's almost 11:30, but the conversation hasn't gone on for two sentences, and I couldn't immediately send her off. Lin Jing saw that she was standing there a bit awkwardly, so she said, "Come over and sit with me."

  She thought to herself, what's going on here, in my own territory, why is he so at ease like a master, while I'm the one who seems like an uninvited guest? Sit down then, who's afraid of whom.

  She sat at a distance of one arm from him, and then she chatted with him about the trivial matters of these years, with the musical "Jinsha" playing softly in the computer. She listened to him talk about the hardships and joys of studying abroad, and she slowly told jokes about her early days in the workplace. He was still the same as before, even when he didn't speak, he always made people feel like he was listening patiently, and the atmosphere never became too awkward.

  When the song "Hua Jian" ended, the music stopped abruptly, just as their previous conversation had come to a close. He didn't speak again, and she suddenly didn't know how to continue either. Without the accompaniment of music, the atmosphere suddenly became gloomy and strange. The more she tried to find something to say, the more tongue-tied she became, and he remained completely silent.

  The atmosphere between people is a strange thing, one second it's all smiles and conversation, the next it's frozen in an awkward standoff. In that embarrassing moment, she could almost hear the sound of breathing in the air, unsure if it was his or hers, feeling like her limbs were useless. Maybe it was time to end this unexpected invitation, so she made up her mind, cleared her throat, and was about to say "It's late, let's go back, don't be late for work tomorrow." Just as she opened her mouth, the phone on the bedside table suddenly rang out, shattering the silence. This sudden noise didn't bring her relief, but instead felt like an invisible hand had grasped her heart. She jumped in fright, not thinking much, and sprang up from the bed like a jack-in-the-box to grab the phone. However, the person beside her was quicker, pressing down on her shoulder before she could even cry out, and then his lips were on hers.

  Zheng Wei was stunned, her mind's gears broken into a spiral shape. This unexpected kiss was not just a light touch, but a strong invasion that stormed the pool, and for a moment, her breath was filled with the faint scent of red wine and the taste of water after drinking. There was also a strange fragrance. She was within arm's reach of him, he leaned over and easily grasped her, then without much effort, pressed her down onto the bed.

  At that moment, Zheng Wei's only feeling was two words: absurd!

  Lin Jing had never treated her like this before. In the past, their most intimate contact was limited to hugs and holding hands, except for that light kiss on the bus that landed on her eyes. Lin Jing in her memory was like his calligraphy lamp with a warm red glow, a warm and peaceful existence. Even when she vowed to marry him since childhood, her imagined married life only went as far as being together forever, never parting ways, and never entwining their bodies. Lin Jing's name was gender-neutral, and from young to old, people always asked her, "Is your Lin Jing a boy or a girl?" Zheng Wei's answer was: "Lin Jing is just Lin Jing." It can be said that Lin Jing was a special and important individual to her, but had nothing to do with sex.

  But at this moment, he only needed a few moves to easily shatter all her psychological settings, making her dazed. The passionate kiss that was exploring her was not the Lin Jing in her memory, but an unadulterated man.

  She couldn't believe it, but his hands were making her blush and skip a beat. Zheng Wei then pushed him away, taking advantage of the pause to ask repeatedly, "What are you doing?"

  He didn't respond, but instead let out a low chuckle, his body weight pressing down on hers, pinning her down with one hand, just enough to immobilize her without making it impossible for her to struggle free.

  Perhaps he had seen it early on, she was tired, the fatigue born from her heart, and his strong side and power happened to fill in a timely manner the weakness and emptiness in her heart. She thought that if at this moment she pushed him away without any consideration, whether he would never give her warmth again, and whether the empty space in her heart would expand endlessly?

  Perhaps she does need a strong filling, even if it's not forever.

  She could be driven to the corner, after all, she was still stubbornly resisting, in the boundary of shock and excitement, she still vaguely knew that if she let him continue like this, their relationship would only become more chaotic. Even if she treated him as a man, shouldn't normal relationships progress gradually? Putting aside past grievances, since they reunited, they had never seriously discussed the issues between them, not even a hug or a kiss to ease the tension before he did this.

  At this time, Zheng Wei's psychological shock was far greater than her physical one. Her conflict stemmed from being at a loss for what to do, and for a passionate man, this kind of hesitation was like pouring oil on fire. His hands quickly broke through the barrier of clothes, wandering in the corners she was too ashamed to mention, and of course, his lips. She felt her blood boiling over her head, he brazenly teased her, making her toss and turn, even though she wasn't inexperienced, but still couldn't believe that two people could be so intimate...

  The music from the phone on the pillow rang out again, and at this time no one thought of answering it.

  Before he took her, there was a brief pause. He held her face in his hands and she closed her eyes tightly. "Open your eyes and look at me," he said.

  Zheng Wei saw himself in his eyes.

  "I never thought it would be like this, Lin Jing." She opened her eyes and saw herself in his.

  "But I've thought about it."

  As he sank into her body, it wasn't without pain. She hadn't done this in four years, and his movements were too resolute, making the feeling of being broken into even more intense than the first time. Zheng Wei let out a violent gasp, heard him vaguely call out "Wei Wei". Her heart felt an inexplicable pang, and she almost immediately closed her eyes, tears falling down.

  The pain made her body instinctively twist and dodge, his hand steadied her, she felt so clearly that he was not him, they were so different. If the intimacy with Chen Xiao Zheng had the awkward mutual exploration and novel stimulation of young boys and girls, then Lin Jing was a man, his foreplay was lingering, but at the critical moment, it was direct and powerful, he was a conqueror on her body. In front of that person, she only thought about recklessly and crazily giving herself away, fearing that she would not give enough, fearing that she still had something left, while now she only needed to endure, only needed to accept.

  She heard her own moans and his gasps, the calm and collected Lin Jing of her youth, the deputy prosecutor who was always in control, that eternally confident and captivating face now twisted with desire.

  Her memories were also tainted with desire.

  Just as he was about to reach the peak, he lightly touched her tears and suddenly had a brief moment of uncertainty. "Weiwei, are you happy?"

  She bit her lower lip in silence. Her body was happy, happiness is such an easy thing, but what about the soul? Who cares?

  Afterwards, Lin Jing stayed on top of her for a long time before slowly getting off. When he left, that bit of warmth also withdrew, and she found herself colder than before.

  He tidied himself up and gently patted her, "Shall we go wash up together?"

  Zheng Wei turned over and lay with her back to him.

  He came out of the bathroom, tidied himself up and said with a bitter smile, "Look at me like this, I probably have to rush back." Seeing her not speaking, he couldn't help but feel worried, so he sat down beside her and gently stroked her bare back. "Weiwei, do you want me to stay with you? I can also go back early tomorrow to change clothes."

  "She said: 'No need, you can go back.'"

  This result was within Lin Jing's expectations, her heart was in a mess, he knew it. The grown-up Zheng Wei had built a wall between them, and he chose to strike when she was least prepared. He even admitted that he might have taken advantage of the situation, but if that "emptiness" really existed, why couldn't he fill it? He always only cared about results, all means were just processes, he hoped to bring her happiness, and was confident he could, this was the result he wanted.

  He sat for a while, then picked up the car key, "I'll go back now, you take a bath and have a good rest, I'll call you tomorrow."

  As he walked to the door, he suddenly heard Zheng Wei say, "Lin Jing, take your cat away."