Chapter One: Wore

  I walked out of the hotel, alone on the cold street, with a cool breeze blowing against my face. My tears had dried up, but my heart couldn't calm down. The piercing words and sympathetic eyes from just now at the class reunion still made my heart feel suffocated.

  "Oh my, I'm talking to you, Yin Ruoyun! You're not that stupid, how come after all these years, you've become even more muddled? The other day I saw you, still riding that broken bicycle to work? Are you still teaching at that faraway village school? How exhausting is it to ride a bike every day? Luckily I don't have to work, my husband wouldn't let me suffer!" said Luo Xia, dressed in branded clothes, sighing as she spoke.

  "Hey, look at you, not even wearing a decent piece of jewelry! You're really not taking our class reunion seriously!" This was said by Liu Yin, who was adorned with numerous jewels and accessories. On her hand was a large diamond ring, a gold chain, and around her neck was a golden necklace embedded with diamonds. Her earrings were also studded with diamonds, truly radiating luxury. She stretched out her slender fingers: "You know, this small stone alone is worth over a million! And it's only a little over three carats. My husband said that next year, we'll definitely get a bigger one." There was an unmistakable tone of boastfulness in her voice.

  Look at myself, wearing casual clothes, this is still the best set of clothes I gritted my teeth to buy in a specialty store, it cost 200 yuan, but compared to them, it's really shabby. All I can do is smile bitterly.

  "Hey, I'm telling you, sister, you're really not taking care of yourself. You look so pale and thin, like a yellow-faced woman! In this state, will your husband still be interested?

  Dressed-up Ke Yue walked over with a sassy swish, "We're women, we can't always sacrifice ourselves for the family. You just don't know how to be a woman. Like me, I don't work anymore, my son has a nanny to take care of his meals and a tutor to handle his studies. All I need to do is take care of myself and that's it."

  I cracked a smile, such classmates really make people uncomfortable, they're always comparing who's better than their husband, who has more money, who's prettier! Alas, my original good friends didn't come, if I had known it would be like this, I wouldn't have come either. But unfortunately, I ran into these few on the street and they dragged me here.

  Zhu Qiduan, dressed in a suit and leather shoes, walked over with a wine glass: "Hello beauties! Come on, let's have a drink!" He stopped beside me: "Alas, how did you end up like this? If only you had followed me back then, I would never have let you become so haggard."

  "What? Did you guys talk about it in school? How come we didn't know?" Luo Xia shouted again, "Ruo Yun, can't see it, unfortunately, you really don't know how to choose people! How did you blow it up again?"

  "I'm so embarrassed: 'Don't listen to him nonsense, how can such a thing happen?'"

  "What? You really forgot completely?" Zhu Qi hummed unpleasantly, "It's also okay, you didn't even look at the letter I wrote, of course, you wouldn't remember this matter." Everyone listened and looked at me shaking their heads, my heart was more wronged than Dou E. Actually, at that time, I secretly took a peek at his letter, but seeing the word "kiss" in it made my face red and my heart skip a beat, scaring me into quickly putting it back as it was. Unexpectedly, he saw it and thought I didn't even want to look at it, tearing up the letter in anger. Now it's good, instead blaming me. Alas, those were things from when we were young and inexperienced, all past for twenty years, unexpectedly he still remembers.

  "You guys have heard, right? So many factories have closed down recently, and so many people are going to lose their jobs!" Chen Ping, who wore glasses, said. "It's still you, Zhu Qi, who had the foresight. When you were assigned to a factory back then, you managed to start your own business and now you're a big boss."

  "Hey, your husband's boss is still looking down on you!" He chuckled and gave me a smug look, "You don't know yet, do you? The factory where your husband works is going to go bankrupt, the land has been sold to someone else, and he's going to lose his job. Alas, what will you do in the future! I'm really worried about you!"

  "What? Bankruptcy? I was so shocked that I couldn't speak. Although the salary for going to work isn't high, it's still a formal job after all. What can be done about this?" "You... how did you know?" He smiled faintly and didn't say anything.

  "Hey, don't you understand? He's the big boss who bought the land. You should regret it! Why did you refuse back then?" Chen Ping said with some regret.

  They were still talking, but I couldn't hear them anymore. All I could think about was the sentence "He's going to lose his job, he's going to lose his job!" My eyes stung and tears were about to fall. I blurted out something and ran out, and as soon as I stepped out the door, my tears burst forth uncontrollably.

  Do I regret my choice? I asked myself, no, not at all. Absolutely no regrets! He was as gentle as the wind to me, never spoke harshly. We've been married for over ten years now, and in all these years, except for going to work, he's taken care of almost everything else, even though he only cooks vegetarian dishes, they're so delicious that they taste like non-vegetarian ones. I've lived such a simple life all along, not having a big house is fine, not having luxury brands is also fine, as long as he treats me well, our little life will be just like this.

  But he's about to lose his job, and these peaceful days are hard to come by. I think I'm not a woman who loves vanity, and the cold ridicule of those female classmates doesn't bother me. All along, I've been comforting myself with Ah Q's "spiritual victory method" - as long as our family is together and happy, that's happiness. Did I go wrong? Heaven, why are you treating me like this?! We were thinking that with two people's salaries, we could save up for three to five years and then buy a big house, pay the down payment first, and then take out a mortgage... but if he loses his job, how can we afford it?!

  They must have eaten and gone to bed by now, it's so late. Finally arrived home, huh? How come the son is sleeping on the sofa? Where's he? The TV is still on, it's that drama I've been following, took a glance, it's at the part where He Dong is about to resign and restart his youth. Can't help but sigh: Alas, this person is more impulsive than others, saying goodbye to a good job just like that, too rash.

  Shaking my head, I carried my son to the room, but he woke up and opened his eyes, saying: "Mom, I'm so hungry!" "What? You haven't eaten yet?" As soon as I heard this, I burst into anger. "Where's your dad? Can't he still not be back yet?"

  The son nodded, ah? Too much! Actually letting the son starve at home alone! I'm so angry that I'm going crazy. Picked up the phone and dialed, but it's turned off? Now, I'm even angrier in my heart, I clearly told him we're eating out today, how could he not take care of his own son? How could he be so irresponsible? On one hand, I'm angry, on the other hand, I'm getting food for the son. In my heart, I feel strange, he's never done this before, what's going on today? Suddenly thought of what a classmate said, their factory is going bankrupt and he's about to lose his job. Could it be because of this? But can't not come home either?

  I cooked a bowl of "chicken" egg noodles for my son, and he was so hungry that he ate the noodles, which he normally doesn't like, with great relish. Seeing him eat happily made my nose feel sour. Alas, born into our kind of family, he can only have such simple food; I suppose those rich classmates must have nutritious and sumptuous meals every day! "Mom, I heard Dad's voice, he's coming upstairs." My son has a pair of extremely sensitive ears, and he can hear any sound made by our family members.

  "Hmph, as long as you're back. Let's see what you have to say? The sound of the key opening the door, it took a while to open. As soon as I entered, I was hit with a strong smell of alcohol. I sat on the sofa, staring at him, waiting for his next move. He actually squinted his eyes, swaying back and forth as he walked over, and grabbed me with one hand: 'Stinky girl, get out of my way, don't block me, I want to sleep.'"

  What? Is there something wrong with my ears? Did he just scold me? My heart trembled slightly for a moment. Looking at him lying on the sofa, his mouth still muttering: "Drink, another bottle. Losing my job is nothing, I'm still a good man..." Turning over, he was still murmuring: "Ruo'er, Ruo'er, sorry! I'm really useless, always making you suffer with me..." Listening to him, my heart felt slightly better, after all, he was drunk, after all, it was his first time, after all, he still remembered to be good to me.

  The son finished eating and was quickly sent to his room to sleep. As for him, it's fine like this, just cover him with a quilt. The TV show is over and the song is playing: "How many people are walking but stuck in place, how many people are living but as if they're dead, how many people love but seem to be separated, how many people smile but with tears...

  Listening to that song, I couldn't help but feel a little sad. Others are tired of life being too routine and dull, wanting to relive their youth. As for us, it's really true that "poor couples have a hundred worries". If given the chance, I would seize my youth tightly and change this current life! Alas, just a dream! A night's sleep, a night's song, my brain is filled with strange noises, thinking that since it's the weekend, there's no need to rush to get out of bed. So I let myself sink into a deep sleep. "Knock knock knock......" "Who could be knocking on the door? My husband should have taken our son to piano lessons by now, who is making such a racket and disturbing my peaceful dreams?

  Rubbing my eyes, I got out of bed: "Who is it? Coming, coming." Hmm, something's wrong, where are my slippers? Rubbing my eyes again, weird, weird, where are my slippers? Not right, how did they turn into these small shoes? Rubbing my eyes once more, oh my god! How did I end up back here? This... this... isn't this the room I lived in when I was a kid? When did I come back? I patted my head, still not right, there's no one at home, why would I come back? My parents are all in the city at my older brother's place, it's impossible for me to be alone. What the...?! I rubbed my eyes while staring at the familiar yet strange decorations, this room must have been empty for years? What on earth is going on here?

  "Cloud, cloud, get out of bed quickly, today you have to go to school." Why does this voice sound so familiar? Opening the door and taking a look, ah, isn't that my cousin Qiu Wei? But why is she so small? Could it be her daughter?

  "What's wrong with you? Today the school is going to announce the class list, let's go take a look!" I'm being reassigned? Oh my god, are you kidding me? I'm the teacher myself, does the school want to reassign classes or something? But it has nothing to do with me anyway, I'm an art teacher: "Are you sure you're calling me?" I pointed at myself and asked.

  "Are you Yin Ruoyun?" She looked at me with a mixture of tears and laughter. I nodded. "That's right, you're sleep-talking again, Little Sleepyhead!" Little Sleepyhead? Isn't that my childhood nickname? How did my older sister bring up my nickname in front of her daughter?! "Uh, are you..." I hadn't even finished asking when she said, "You really are sleep-talking, I'm your cousin, didn't you lose your memory or something?"

  "Ah, it's Jie sister! What about me? Have I shrunk too? I was still dazed for half a day and suddenly became stunned. Glancing at my own body, ah, I'm going to faint. I've really become so small, like a 12 or 13-year-old girl. Who can tell me what's going on? I pinched my arm hard: "Ow, it hurts!" "Why are you pinching yourself?" Jie sister said with a smile, "Hurry up and get washed, don't worry, I'll wait for you. When I came, Aunt had already prepared food and gone out to work, telling you to eat and then go to school."

  I collected my thoughts, searching through memories of the past in my mind while speaking in a flattering tone: "Okay, Qiao Hui sister, I'm all sleepy and confused. Why did we have to switch classes? Tell me about it." Qiao Hui shook her head helplessly: "Oh, you're really impossible. You're already in third year of junior high and still so clueless!" "Oh, I get it now. So it's because of the class switch in third year of junior high." It seemed like there was a bit of recollection in my memory. After quickly washing up, I came to the kitchen, where leek fried rice was simmering on the stove - my favorite dish from childhood. "Qiao Hui sister, have some too," I called out to Qiao Hui who was helping me fold blankets in the room. "No need, I already ate at home. You eat quickly."

  Eating the familiar stir-fried rice with a motherly flavor, my heart is racing wildly. Could it be that I've traveled through time? Not to ancient times, but back to my own youth? Is this because I watched "Beijing Youth" and wanted to relive my youthful years, so I fell asleep and traveled back here? Ah, people say things jokingly, how did it become true? What about my husband and son? I don't want this, I want to go back. Although life is tough, being together as a family is still happy. What should I do? What should I do? I'm on the verge of tears, all because of me, always liking to think wildly. Waaah, I want to cry. I miss my husband, I miss my son. I don't want to go back to school again, I don't want to.