Chapter 79

  When the summer vacation was about to start, Yu Cai received a call from Qi Shu Fan. Qi Shu Fan's voice was filled with helplessness and subtle fatigue, causing Yu Cai's heart to ache secretly, wishing she could immediately appear in front of him and wipe away the bitter smile that must be on his face at this moment.

  "Xiao Cai, have you made plans for summer vacation?"

  "Uh, I promised my classmate to go work as an assistant at a company."

  "Aren't you going home either?"

  Yu Cai pretended not to hear the word "also", "Uh, it's too hot at home, and I have things to do here anyway. My mom said she'd come visit me when she's free," Of course, Yu Cai was well aware that her mother would never waste money to come to Xiamen just to see her.

  Qishu Fan was silent for a moment, "Xiao Cai, I know it's hard for you, but can you persuade Shizhi to come back?"

  "Actually, have you ever thought of respecting his wishes?"

  "Xiao Cai, he is different from you, when he can be completely independent, he will disappear forever in front of me, I must slowly move him before that."

  "He won't, even if he has an opinion about you, after all, you are his father."

  "No, Xiao Cai, he chose that remote place and that secluded profession precisely to escape my control. Xiao Cai, he hates me."

  "It won't be, it's impossible, even if you neglected him before, he wouldn't hate you, and I never noticed..."

  Qishu suddenly interrupted her, "Xiao Cai, let me tell you the truth, I think he believes I killed his mother, and indeed, I should take full responsibility for his mother's death".

  Yu Cai was shocked and lost color, her hand holding the phone trembled, and the phone almost fell to the ground.

  The voice of Qi Shu Fan came over, calm and steady. "I was eighteen when I failed the college entrance exam, so I went back to my hometown to farm. My mother-in-law, who is also Shi Zhi's mother, quickly arranged for me to get married. She had grown up with me since childhood and was gentle and beautiful, so I didn't see any reason to object. The next year, Shi Zhi was born. That year, I thought a lot about my life, especially after Shi Zhi was born, which gave me a huge shock. I couldn't just spend the rest of my life as a farmer, planting fields and raising children every day. So, despite my family's opposition, I went back to school to study, and the next year, I finally got into college. After graduating, I returned to the county town to work as a civil servant, quickly gaining recognition from my leaders and rising through the ranks. I brought my parents and Shi Zhi's mother and son to the county town, teaching her how to interact with the wives of officials, but she just couldn't learn. When my mom was able to navigate their social circle with ease, I lost patience, first scolding her, then gradually coming home later and later, until I stopped coming home at night..."

  Later, I was transferred to the city and met a superior's daughter. Soon after, I proposed a divorce. Zhi's mother strongly disagreed, but after my patient persuasion failed, I showed her the marriage law and told her that if I didn't return home for three years, the court would grant us a divorce regardless of whether she agreed or not. Moreover, she knew nothing, and Zhi had no future with her, so I let her give up custody voluntarily.

  She first begged bitterly, then proposed to consider it for a while, I agreed and returned to the city. A month later, I received a call from her saying that she had come around and asked for a large sum of separation fee, asking me to go back and handle the formalities.

  I returned home just before noon, and she had already prepared a big table of dishes. I couldn't bear to reject her kindness, so I sat down with her to eat slowly. After finishing the meal, she went to the room to get the agreement book. Feeling a bit sleepy, I leaned against the sofa to rest, but unexpectedly fell asleep. When I woke up, I found myself in the hospital. The doctor told me that I had taken too much sleeping pills, and Zhi's mother had taken even more, and it was already too late to save her.

  Qibook's voice paused, Yucai covered her mouth tightly to prevent herself from crying out loud. His tone remained calm and flat, but she could hear the faint sadness and thick self-blame in it. Yucai felt as if her heart was being cut by a knife, and she wished she could hug him and cry loudly.

  After a long time, Qi Shu Fan spoke again, "That year, Shi was ten years old and I was twenty-eight. I don't know if his mother couldn't bear it and let me off or if she really just lost control. I couldn't withstand the blow and became very depressed for a period of time. The daughter of my superior said that she couldn't forgive herself for indirectly causing someone's death, went abroad, and cut off contact with me from then on."

  One day, as I was lying in bed staring blankly, Shi Ze pushed open the door and came in, calmly saying, 'Why don't you just die?'

  I was startled, thinking I had misheard, and quickly walked up to him, asking what he was saying. His face showed no expression as he calmly repeated, 'Why don't you just die?' Xiao Cai—”

  Qishu's voice paused again, and Yucai seemed to see him pursing his lips tightly, his eyes fixed firmly on the front, while the weakness and self-blame on his face could not be concealed, and a sob escaped from between his fingers.

  "Xiao Cai, I know I don't deserve sympathy or forgiveness, but... Xiao Cai, I hope you can help me."

  Yu Cai nodded vigorously, then realized he couldn't see and spoke up, "I'll definitely do my best, don't worry," her voice choked with sobs.

  "It's hard on you, Xiao Cai."

  "Uh, no need to be polite, I'll just hang up then," Yu Cai hastily hung up the phone and couldn't hold back anymore, collapsing onto the cold floor of the dormitory hall, hugging her knees and crying uncontrollably.

  On the other end of the phone, Chi Shu Fan's mouth curled up in a bitter smile. He naturally knew why Yu Cai had hastily hung up the phone. That stubborn girl, crying - she never wanted anyone to see her like that. Could she really help him make up for this nightmare that had been entangling him for many years?

  The next evening, Yu Zai called Jie Shi's phone, "A Shi, what are your plans for the summer vacation?"

  Nothing

  "So you're going home?"

  "No."

  "If you don't have anything planned, why not go home? Your dad must be missing you."

  Ji Shi didn't say a word, Yu Cai continued, "A Shi, I asked He Qi about it, he's also going back. And Xia Yunyun, we're only one year apart, there's no need to not go back during summer break."

  He still didn't say anything after being released from his vow of silence.

  "A Xi, your dad called me and said he really hopes you can go back home."

  The silence of prayer continues.

  "A Xi, I've found an internship company in the provincial city. When the time comes, you should find one too, and we can go back together, okay?"

  The prayer is still silent.

  "A Xi, have I ever told you that I bought a house in the provincial city, not far from your home, it's very beautiful. Now it's rented out to someone else, and the annual rent is enough for me to eat. This time I'm going over to collect the rent, and one day I'll renovate it again. Let's go take a look together with He Qi Xia Yun"

  He responded this time and murmured in agreement.

  Yu sighed and said, "A Shi, I know I'm being too much, but I really hope you can accompany me to the internship".

  "Wasn't it you who said 'where there's a sacrifice, there must be a gain' last time, Qi Shu Fan?"

  Yu Cai was shocked, "A Shi, don't be ridiculous!"

  "You like him," she stated in a calm tone.

  "Axiang——"

  "Okay, I'll go back with you."

  "Huh?"

  "The provincial capital is in sight," Ji Shi hung up the phone.

  Yu Cai stared blankly at her phone for a while before collapsing weakly onto the cold floor again.