Chapter 28

  Dao Jing heard that someone was looking for her, so she quickly walked into the courtyard. She saw a young man in a white suit standing at the door of her house, but she didn't recognize him. As soon as he saw Dao Jing, he walked towards her, looked at her, and suddenly grabbed her hand, exclaiming: "Sister, don't you recognize me?"

  "Little brother, little brother!" Dao Jing exclaimed when she saw that it was her younger brother Xiao Feng. She hadn't seen him in three years and he had already grown into a tall young man. She pulled his hand and walked inside the house, forgetting all her troubles and smiled as she asked him, "Little brother, sit down. How have you been these past few years? What's the situation like at home?"

  Lin Dao Feng did not sit down, but stood in the middle of the room, looking around and admiring. He was admiring the decoration of the house, and his sister's dress. Gradually, he showed a disappointed expression.

  "Sister, I heard you got married! How come you're living alone in a place like this?"

  "Ah, I live alone in this place. Younger brother, sit down."

  Daofeng pulled out a handkerchief to wipe off the dust on the chair before sitting down and asking, "So, where's your husband?" He turned his eyes to look at his sister with a smile, "What does he do? Is he rich?"

  "What's the point of mentioning this!" Dao Jing was getting impatient, "He left early. I'm asking you, where are the family members now? Where did you come from?" Although Dao Jing hated this family and hadn't cared about it since leaving, in that instant, he still revealed his nostalgia and concern for it.

  "My mother died of illness," said Daofeng nonchalantly. "She died last year. For the past two years, I've been following my father... Hey, you don't know, he's become an official again! We live in Nanjing - no, he's in Nanjing, and I'm in Shanghai. He still doesn't know that I'm already a student at Shanghai Jiaotong University."

  "So, what brings you to Beiping now? And where is Father?"

  "Father?" Lin Daofeng took out a beautiful handkerchief, picked his nose and said, "He's short of money to spend, so he remembered the land outside the city that was all sold off, but the price was too cheap. He asked me to help him find the tenant again to get a better price for the land. He went to Rehe first; now I'm staying in Beiping to persuade the concubine of the Secretary-General of the Rehe Provincial Government. Otherwise, without using force to pressure those poor tenants, it's not easy to get the money."

  At this time, she finally saw that Dao Feng was wearing a neat suit, with shiny hair, and although his eyes were very big, they revealed a frivolous and casual attitude. "Oh, he's become like this..." She frowned.

  "Little brother, don't help Father do such wicked things!" She couldn't help but persuade her younger brother, "Those tenant farmers are already so poor and miserable. Haven't those lands been sold already? How can they be sold again for money? It's not enough to skin them alive, but also want to suck their marrow! Speaking with excitement, she forgot herself and spoke loudly, "Little brother, I only now understand that our parents - including you and me - are all sinners. We've both grown up drinking the blood of those tenant farmers. Father is just waiting for Mother's death, but we're still young, we can still break free..."

  Daofeng listened to this strange discussion, stuck out his tongue and interrupted her: "Sister, you don't know that I already have a lover, her name is Gao Lingling, hey, she's really beautiful. She's the school flower, and also the daughter of a rich family. We're engaged, my father said: as long as we can bring back some money from outside, he'll use this money to get us married. 'If one doesn't take care of oneself, heaven will destroy the earth', I alone can't make those poor tenants all wealthy; it's better to ask them each to contribute a little money to help me out."

  Upon hearing such extremely selfish words, Dao Jing suddenly flared up as if she had been insulted: "Younger brother, I really didn't expect you to become so mediocre and ugly! What are you saying? This is completely the talk of a landlord or capitalist! Do you know that this class has no way out? It's destined to perish!..." She became so agitated that she forgot about the dangerous situation she was in, and began to lecture her brother on class struggle and the future prospects of human society.

  The wind was digging into his nostrils, and the more he listened, the more annoyed he became. After hearing it later, he really couldn't help but stand up abruptly, grab his own hat, and chuckle: "Sister, stop nagging! You must be a Communist Party member? Oh, this is no joke!" He lightly stroked Dao Jing's neck with his hand, lowering his voice, "Ah, be careful of your head!"

  The wind had blown for a while, and Daojing was still standing on the ground. "How stupid I am! What did I just say?" she thought to herself, dazed. "Did I think that just because he's my brother, I could talk freely? 'Why are you so honest with such people?'". She suddenly remembered Xu Hui's words, and it felt like a heavy slap in the face. Gradually, she calmed down from her excitement and remembered Xu Hui's words whispered in her ear: "Tomorrow evening, wait at home, someone will come to take you away. Top secret! Don't let anyone know." She smiled. She touched her burning face and muttered softly: "Compared to her, I'm really a big fool!" The feeling of loneliness disappeared. She was inspired by the sympathy and justice of the people she could meet anywhere. She thought: In the ocean of life, as long as you float, you struggle, you grit your teeth, it will not drown you. She began to pack her things, fantasizing about the new life that was about to come. Suddenly, Xu Hui's words pierced her heart again: "What reason were you caught for?"

  "What's the reason after all?……" She put down the few volumes of "World Knowledge" in her hand, sat on the edge of the bed and fell into deep thought. She thought that except for Yu Yongze and Wang Xiaoyan who knew a little about her situation, only Dai Yu was most clear about her situation recently. Yu Yongze wouldn't betray her; nor would the pure and honest Wang Xiaoyan; but how could it be possible for Dai Yu? He's a revolutionary comrade! She was perplexed and couldn't figure out what was going on.

  "Why are you so honest? It's almost as if you're stupid!" She thought of Xu Hui's words again, mocking herself. "Traitor - is it possible that there isn't a single traitor in the revolutionary camp?" Lu Jiachuan had told her before their last meeting that many comrades were captured because of a traitor, and thinking about this made her suspect Dai Yu's behavior. But as soon as she thought this, she immediately blamed herself: "No, no, it's absolutely impossible!" She overturned her suspicions of Dai Yu, feeling it was an absurd idea. In the dark night, without turning on the light, she lay in bed thinking restlessly, unsure how to understand these problems. At this moment, a surge of words flooded her mind, and she wanted to tell someone about them. She yearned for, she suffocated. Lu Jiachuan - the person she most admired - if he were here now, everything would be so different! As soon as she thought of him, she jumped out of bed and turned on the light. She had many words to say to him, and she wanted to write."

  "Lu brother:" She sat at the desk and wrote these two words, then erased them, continuing to write without mentioning names.

  My dearest mentor and friend: I am writing this letter to you in Beiping on October 19, 1933. However, at this moment, I do not know where you are, which prison you are in, or what kind of fate has befallen you - I have no idea whatsoever. Nevertheless, my friend, I must write to you; there is so much that I want to tell you. First and foremost, I want to share with you the most important thing: something that will bring a smile to your face. That is, I have finally overcome my past vacillation and hesitation, and have resolutely joined you on this path. I have triumphed over the terrible petty-bourgeois poison within me - the lingering attachment to old emotions, the unprincipled and spineless pity - and have thrown myself into a new life. To be specific, I have left Yu Yongze. Thinking back to the past year or so, my friend, how deeply painful, regretful, and ashamed I am! The night I went to find Li Dajie, you had already left when I returned, and then you were arrested. When you faced danger, I was unable to help you in time - this is a crime that will haunt me for the rest of my life, an error that I can never forgive myself for. However, I have not been crushed or consumed by this regretful mood, so I do not ask for your forgiveness; I only want to tell you: you were arrested, but I have stood up again. And I believe that there will be thousands and millions of young people like me who will also stand up. Although I am still very immature and cannot compare with you.

  She thought for a long time as she wrote this far. The west wind outside the window was blowing and knocking on the window with fallen leaves. It was deep autumn, and she wore little, and the cold wind that came in through the window gap made her feel a slight chill. But a kind of passion she had never had before surged in her heart, making her forget the cold, forget the danger looming ahead, and write down in one breath:

  Dearest friend, I must tell you: I too have undergone a bit of testing. Recent events almost had the reactionaries destroying me. However, just when I was in dire straits and at a loss for what to do, it was the Party - our great mother - that stretched out a helping hand to me. Friend, although I am anxious and worried, yet I am also so happy and joyful! It is you - the Party - that pointed out the direction for me to move forward when I was lost; and when I encountered danger on my journey and hit rock bottom, unexpectedly the Party came to rescue me... Now, I have not yet escaped the dangerous situation, but I have confidence that I will leave. Just thinking about how my life is also filled with legendary and mythical stories like yours makes me so happy!

  Finally, my dearest friend, I still want to tell you a couple of heartfelt words that I've never dared to say out loud... Don't laugh at me, if you can see this letter, then at the same time, you will see a sincere heart... Don't smile, friend! She won't forget you, ever. No matter where in the world, no matter life or death, no matter how dangerous or changing the future may be, you will always live in my heart. When can we meet again? Can we still meet again? ... But I'm looking forward to it. I'll wait for that day to come. If that day really comes and appears in the course of my life, then I would be so happy! ... Friend, let's hope we can meet again! Take care, your strong will is forever a model for me to learn from.

  The letter was finished, and Jing read it again and again. At this moment, the letter she held in her hand seemed not to be the one she wrote to Lu Jia-chuan, but the one Lu Jia-chuan had sent to her after breaking through countless difficulties. She greedily read the letter she had written herself, indulging in an unusually intense emotion, and forgot about the dark clouds and troubles surrounding her.

  "How can I give it to him?" In the dawn that was about to break, she pinched the letter and smiled slightly. Indeed, this was a letter that could not be delivered.