Chapter Eighteen

  This morning, Lin Daojing steamed buns on the stove and sat in a chair by the window with a copy of "Dialectics Textbook". However, when her eyes fell on a small piece of red cloth inserted between the pages, she couldn't read anymore. She had to put down the book and play with this little red cloth, admiring it like a treasured object, with a smile on her face and muttering softly: "Ah, 'May Day', you're over again!"

  On that great memorial day of "May Day", she was summoned by Lu Jia-chuan to participate in a * again. At first, she and several temporarily assembled people hid in a small alley near the Tianqiao Bridge, where Lu Jia-chuan came to 'hand over' them a roll of flyers, checking if they had brought small flags and lime powder. When he got an affirmative answer, he immediately turned around and walked away. The rest of them wandered around the small alley for a while. When the liaison 'contact' person came to tell them to gather on Tianqiao Boulevard immediately, like a gust of wind, they rushed out of the small alley; at the same time, many people also rushed out of other alleys. Thus, the crowd quickly merged into an enthusiastic team.

  Dao Jing always wanted to get close to Lu Jia Chuan, getting close to him made her feel at ease, as if she had a sense of security.

  But he was particularly busy, and in a twinkling he had run ahead again. She was pushing her way through the crowd when suddenly a great red flag burst flaming into the air, like a crimson sun rising out of the gloom. She looked up to see the black letters on the flag:

  Workers of the world, unite!

  Her heart couldn't help but thump wildly. The fervent slogans, the flyers scattered in the air, the waving fists, and the countless red flags fluttering in the wind made the earth seem to shake suddenly... But this situation only lasted for a few minutes, followed by the shrill police sirens, speeding motorcycles, and the crackling of gunfire, as fully armed military police surrounded them from all sides.

  ……

  Dao Jing pinched a small piece of cloth, furrowing her brow. Lu Jia-chuan's handsome face appeared clearly before her eyes again. The military police dispersed the crowd, capturing people, he was responsible for guarding the big flag, when the big flag was broken, the comrade who held the big flag was about to be taken away, he suddenly jumped up and gave the executioner a fierce punch, while sprinkling a handful of lime powder with all his might. In the smoke-filled air, the comrade holding the big flag took advantage of the situation and ran away, and several military police turned around to chase him. Lin Daojing was running after him - he had waved his hand for her to leave, but she didn't. She flew towards him, running in his direction. Just as he was about to run into a small alley, a gray-clad gendarme fired two shots at his head and was about to catch up with him. He suddenly turned around and shook out another small package with all his might, instantly filling the air with a choking white smoke. The lime powder had its miraculous effect, taking advantage of the moment when the military police couldn't open their eyes, he escaped. Daojing learned from his method, and the packet of lime powder also saved her, she too escaped. Finally, according to prior agreement, they met again at Taoranting, where he held her arm like a loving couple, but they only exchanged a few words before quickly parting ways. As they walked together, she saw that there was still a torn piece of red flag stuck in his pocket seam, so she took it out and kept it as a precious memento of this great day.

  "Ah, how brave and capable he is!" As soon as she thought of Lu Jia-chuan's many performances on "March 18th" and "May 1st", a kind of admiration, adoration, and even more complex emotions arose in her heart. She herself couldn't say what it was, only that she yearned to see him again and hoped to learn more from him.

  In the afternoon, Yu Yongze went to class, and she saw Bai Libing at home, so she went to her room to sit idle.

  "Kobayashi, did you go to the May Day event yesterday?" asked Shiratori with a mischievous grin.

  "She's gone. Bai Jie, why didn't you go?"

  "What's wrong? Is there other work?" Bai Libing hastily changed the subject, putting her arm on Dao Jing's shoulder and smiling. "Xiao Lin, did you have another fight with that old husband of yours last night? Hey, silly child, why do you always get together with such a person? Can't you find a more lovable man than him?" Bai Libing always called Yu Yongze "old husband" because he always wore long gowns and looked like a scholar.

  "Don't worry about it!" Dao Jing said with a smile, revealing two rows of pearly white teeth. "Who's like you? You fall in love with one person at a sight, and then fall in love with another pair - a romance expert."

  "Alright, don't be so stubborn! I'm really doing this for your own good. What's there to like about that sour face of his? Hey, Little Lin, what do you think of Old Lu? He's lively, brave, capable and handsome, if you agree, I'll introduce you two, how about it?"

  Her heart skipped a beat. She couldn't believe that White Lily had jokingly linked her name with that of such a respectable and lovely person. Her face flushed, she stared blankly at White Lily with wide eyes. Taking advantage of the situation, White Lily put her arm around her shoulder, leaned in close to her ear, and chuckled, "Good girl, what are you hesitating about? 'New love does not arise, old love will not disappear.' Whose literary words are those? That old husband of yours is not worth loving, be bold and create a new life!"

  "No, he loves me. How can I bear to leave him?" Dao Jing felt that she couldn't joke around anymore, as Bai Libing was being sincere in her conversation with her. So she shook her head and replied softly.

  "Just wait for Yu Yongze to give you a filial piety plaque!" Bai Libing's face turned solemn, with a hint of sarcastic smile at the corner of her mouth. "You still dare to... even such a small matter - personal matters don't count for anything! - aren't brave enough to change, and yet say other things!"

  A gentle sentence, however, could pierce her calm and silence. She relaxed her grip on Bai Lian's hand and sat quietly in the chair, no longer speaking. She knew that an irreparable rift had formed between her and Yu Yongze, a rift that was deepening with each passing day as she rushed towards her new life. Yet, she pitied him, this feeling entwining her like a thousand threads. At the same time, she believed that one shouldn't be concerned with personal problems, so she endured the pain of her conflicting emotions and suppressed all her discontent, hoping to make do with Yu Yongze like this. But Bai Lian's phrase "a matter as small as a sesame seed" made her suddenly realize that she wasn't taking personal issues too lightly, but rather too seriously; she was hiding behind a mask of "not needing to care" and living in complacency.

  She gazed out the window at the blue sky, lost in thought. But Baili thought she was angry with her, so she tilted her head to observe her, then hugged her and cooed like a child: "Okay, little Lin, don't be mad! If your old Yu is that lovable, just go love him! I wouldn't dare break you two up. However, let me tell you something," she said seriously, releasing Dajing's hand and standing up. "You didn't know Cui Xiuyue went to the Northeast Volunteer Army, did you? At first, she hoped Xun Ning would go with her - their feelings for each other were already quite deep. But Xun Ning... isn't he also someone who speaks beautifully but doesn't actually do much? He wouldn't go, couldn't bear to part with his mom, couldn't bear to give up his studies - of course, I also held him back. But one has to admire little Cui, she's still in school and still pining for Xun Ning, yet for the sake of her ideals, she just took off. Little Lin, don't learn from Xun Ning, or me either - you should learn from little Cui... you probably didn't know, but she's Korean."

  "Koreans!......"

  Dào Jìng looked at Bái Lì Píng's lips moving open and closed, slightly surprised, repeating a sentence, then had nothing more to say.

  She went back to her room, feeling annoyed, and fell onto the bed, getting caught up in a jumbled train of thought.

  It got dark and she even forgot to make dinner.

  "Quiet, you are so beautiful! Just like a sleeping beauty of 'Spring'... " Yu Yongze said quietly, not knowing when he had walked into the room, gazing at Lin Daojing who was lying on her side.

  Dào Jìng didn't bother to reason with him, and instead picked up a book to cover his face. He walked over, took the book away, and glanced at the cover - "Das Kapital". He slightly furrowed his brow and smiled: "A great disciple of Mr. Marx, what problem are you studying now?"

  "What's with the sarcasm!" She looked at his face for a while, and suddenly felt that the Yu Yongze she loved no longer existed; this person had become so plebeian and detestable. And so a disappointed anger surged up in her heart, and she couldn't help but blurt out again: "Marx's disciples are always better than Hu Shi's disciples!"

  "What did you say?" Yu Yongze was also somewhat annoyed, "What's wrong with being a disciple of Hu Shi?"

  "Great! Specializing in flattering the ruling class, flattering imperialism, helping Chiang Kai-shek to rule over students, how can it be bad?" Dao Jing tossed the book onto the bed and turned her body around with disdain.

  Yu Yongze clasped his head in both hands and leaned against the table. He struggled to endure, but finally raised his head and sneered: "Ah, struggle, talk about how good it sounds! But I've never seen a few masters or ladies go down into the coal mine. Because this is far more uncomfortable than shouting a few words like 'proletariat' or 'bourgeoisie'!"

  "Don't you dare talk nonsense!" Dao Jing jumped off the bed, glaring at him furiously and shouted, "You've already made me suffer enough, please have some mercy and let me go!"

  One sentence dispersed the tense atmosphere. Yu Yongze became as pitiful as a autumn insect. He hoarsely begged: "Dear! My life, you can't leave!"

  Before going to bed, the two of them finally made up. Yu Yongze looked at Dao Jing and said excitedly: "When I came back today, I was originally very happy and wanted to tell you a good news quickly, but we had another misunderstanding and quarreled again. Jing, let's not quarrel in the future... never mind about that. You know that after graduation, my career is no longer a problem, isn't this good news?"

  "What job? Graduation is still two or three months away."

  "But you have to prepare early! Do you know how many people are fighting for a bowl of rice?"

  Yu Yongze said in a low voice, "Li Guoying is very familiar with Hu Shi - don't be angry, I'm not worshipping him, it's just for our livelihood... So I asked Li to introduce my paper to Hu Shi, and unexpectedly Mr. Hu appreciated it, asking Li to bring me to meet him. Today I really met him, he encouraged me, taught me to work harder, talked about some academic methods, and finally promised that after graduation, he would be responsible for my career... Jing!"

  He grasped Dao Jing's hand tightly, his small eyes shining with a lively light. "I heard that whoever is favored by him will have a bright future and career."

  "Hmm." Dao Jing bit her lip and gazed at him with a self-satisfied expression, "So, you've really become Dr. Hu's great disciple!"

  "Darling!" Yu Yongze pressed his palm over Dao Jing's mouth, pretending to give her a solemn kiss. "Jing, don't always be misled by those fantasies. Reality is reality after all. Hu Shi is a scholar since the May Fourth Movement, can he still harm us young people? These two years, you've followed me and suffered enough, I often feel guilty towards you. Some classmates have told me: 'Old Yu, your girlfriend looks pretty good, why don't you dress her up nicely?' Really, after graduation, if I get a good job, my first wish is to sew two velvet gowns for you, make some nice silk blouses, and a beautiful coat - what color do you like? Darling, I love it when you wear coffee-colored or light green clothes, it makes you look young and elegant. Then people will see that my Jing is an incredibly beautiful girl..." He got excited, suddenly pushed Dao Jing under the lamp, and jumped to the other corner of the room, as if he had discovered her for the first time. He tilted his head, narrowed his eyes, and admired her beauty with satisfaction. "Jing, you're perfect everywhere, just a bit broad-shouldered and big-mouthed. Ancient beauties were all slender-shouldered and small-mouthed. Do you still remember those two lines of poetry: 'Cherry lips, jade-like mouth, willow waist, slender like a young girl'? Why are you frowning? Come on, let's sleep, I can take a beating if you want, just don't always be angry."

  She was originally going to turn her face away, but how could she tolerate these boring and playful actions towards her? However, she was exhausted, her whole body soft and weak, and finally didn't make a sound. As soon as she fell asleep, she was woken up by many chaotic nightmares. In the darkness, she turned around to look at the man sleeping beside her, was this really the young man she had once admired and loved? He saved her, helped her, loved her, which one wasn't for his own sake? Suddenly, White Lily's words jumped into her mind. --- Lu...***, brave..."He, this is truly a person." Thinking of this, she smiled. The tree shadows outside the window gently swayed in front of her, "Does he know how much I admire him?" At this time, a stream of bittersweet liquid flowed through her heart, and she greedily sucked it up, feeling both painful and happy.

  That night she had a strange dream.

  Under the dark sky, she rowed a small boat, drifting on the vast white waves of the sea. The wind, rain, and thick black clouds in the sky all pressed down on the small boat, pressing it tightly. She was afraid, extremely afraid. In this terrible sea, there was only her alone, alone! The waves hit her like a steep wall; the clouds pressed down on her head like a giant monster. She cried out and trembled with fear. The small boat shook violently as if it were about to capsize into the sea. She struggled to row, suddenly turning her head, a man - a very familiar yet unrecognizable man wearing a long shirt sat at the bow of the boat, smiling calmly at her. She was furious and anxious, "You scoundrel who won't save me from death!" she cursed him, but he remained calm, even taking out his tobacco pouch. She became enraged, putting down the oar and rushing towards him. But when she grabbed his neck, she saw that this was a handsome and robust man, smiling at her with black eyes full of charming power. She relaxed her grip. At this moment, the sky seemed to clear up, and the sea water turned azure blue; they sat silently facing each other, gazing at each other. Wasn't this Lu Jia-chuan? She was shocked, and the oar in her hand suddenly fell into the water. Lu Jia-chuan immediately jumped into the sea to retrieve the oar. But the dark water swallowed him up, and the sky turned dark again. She cried out and shouted, throwing herself into the sea...

  She woke up to Yu Yongze gently pushing her: "Jing, what's wrong with you? What are you shouting about? I couldn't sleep and was thinking about my second thesis. Once I finish writing it and 'hand' it over to Mr. Hu, I think the position after summer break will be a bit better."

  Dào Jìng was still in a daze, recalling the scenes of her dreams. At this time, she turned over and responded vaguely: "Sleep, you're extremely tired!"

  But like Yu Yongze, she was also thinking about her own affairs and lost sleep all night.