Chapter Thirty-One: Cleansing Soul Register Heaven

  It is said that this "Tui Bei Tu" is the prediction of Li Chunfeng and Yuan Tiangang, two earth immortals, about important events in the Tang Dynasty and later dynasties, which is very accurate. Later, because they revealed too many heavenly secrets, the two great men were worried that their children would not have anuses, so they did not continue to push it.

  Of course, this is the official statement, but the real situation is: This rehearsal was a special operation to lift the curse of Wan Soul, led by Tang Wang's secret order Li Chunfeng in charge of Lin De Si and Yuan Tiangai in charge of Feng Jian Si. The tone of the ancestors carried the solemn tone of the Yinjian Judicial Officer.

  "In the prosperous Zhenyuan era, the grandeur of the world is at stake. If there's anyone who can possibly break the curse of the Ten Thousand Souls, it would be Li Chunfeng and Yuan Tiangai, those two earthly immortals. Therefore, the Tang Emperor issued a decree to protect the Cui family lineage at all costs, no matter what sacrifices must be made!"

  It seems that this Tang king is indeed a wise ruler, and the rumors are not necessary.

  "What is a terrestrial immortal?" I asked my ancestors curiously, as I was somewhat familiar with the ghost immortals and divine immortals.

  "Earthly immortal, in short, is a fairy in the mortal world, half of heaven and earth, and a talent of gods. It can be considered as the initial stage of ascending to immortality, a grassroots cadre in the fairy world, who has not yet enlightened to the great Tao and only masters minor skills. In modern terms, it's like a village official or community worker!" The ancestor's explanation is really down-to-earth.

  Reflecting on the ancestors' words, since two earth immortals are helping, it shouldn't be like this according to reason! Could something unexpected have happened in between?

  I plucked up my courage and continued reading.

  It was a fine autumn day with clear skies. Li Chunfeng was in the midst of calculating when Yuan Tiangai, who had been drinking due to a lost love, stumbled and knocked over Li Chunfeng, causing his calculations to be destroyed and his mind to be injured, rendering him unable to continue. As Li Chunfeng's full attention was focused on the calculation, this push caused his thoughts to become disordered, resulting in physical and mental harm, thus ending abruptly, a regrettable event for eternity.

  "Hearing this, I couldn't help but exclaim 'Damn it, how can you be so beastly?'"

  What surprised me was that when I covered my forehead with both hands, the ancestor didn't make a move. "Since you're relying on Tianxia Lao'er, I won't shoot you this time, but don't think it's always going to be like this!" I quickly nodded and said okay okay okay.

  "It is said that the earthly immortal is the middle vehicle of the vehicles, with the talent of a god but not the distinction of a god. Without enlightenment to the Great Way, one can only stop at the small or middle vehicle methods and exhaust human affairs while knowing heavenly fate, unable to change the bonds of destiny." The ancestors' words are filled with a strong sense of helplessness.

  Listening to the ancestor's explanation, I think I understand that "If Yuan Tiange had gone to sleep with a hangover after getting drunk, our Cui family might have been prosperous and had many children by now. Yuan Tiange's unintentional push is equivalent to pushing our Cui family into an irredeemable situation, indirectly committing a crime and bearing criminal responsibility!"

  I had already learned from my father's mouth what this book, which sounds like a giant massage, means to the Cui family. Upon hearing the ancestors' explanation, I sighed and felt that even drinking cold water could choke me, it was really a bitter fate that couldn't be blamed on the government, and being foolish couldn't be blamed on one's parents.

  Li Chunfeng was the number one divine person of the prosperous Tang Dynasty, a master of prophecy, and a great pusher. Oh no, a great pusher. In the past, Li Chunfeng's pushing time only reached the point where the Tang king returned to Yang, and I gave the Tang king longevity. The next hexagram was about how to deal with the aftermath, but who knew that he would be pushed away by Yuan Tianxia, that drunkard, naturally including how to lift this curse of ten thousand souls.

  Alas, everything is fate, everything is predetermined! Since it's fate, then there's no use in blaming that Yuan Tianpeng either. It can't be helped if we're sworn enemies, but I still don't like that guy!" Although Ancestor spoke with a light tone, I could clearly hear his teeth grinding with anger.

  "My god, I've been saying that our family is cursed for a long time. No wonder I've had bad luck for over 20 years, it's hereditary! I emphasized my point again, the degree of bad luck is almost like buying a lottery ticket, winning the jackpot, and then losing the ticket on the way to claim the prize, the probability is extremely low. Just thinking about it makes me feel suffocated and depressed."

  After the emotional outburst, I realized what I had just said. As I lifted my head, I saw the dark expression on my ancestors' faces and instantly regretted it. My IQ bypassed my rationality, causing me to blurt out that "rely" word that made me extremely regretful.

  "Watch your language, university students should pay attention to their quality." So I closed my eyes with a sense of justice and waited for the pain from the slap on my forehead.

  "Let the storm come more fiercely." But after a while, there was no movement, I curiously opened my eyes and looked at the ancestral spirit hovering in mid-air with a trembling right hand. "Ancestor, why didn't you explode this time? This feeling of being on tenterhooks is really unbearable! Hurry up, I'm all ready! The result isn't scary, but the waiting process is really tough!"

  "Ancestors stared at me with two bronze bell-like eyes, sadly saying, 'You think I don't want to slap you, kid? It's just that there's no place left on your forehead to hit. Truly, it's a mountain range when viewed horizontally and a peak when viewed vertically, with varying heights and depths. It's not that the ancestors don't want to slap you, but because your head has no more room for it, so these two slaps will have to be owed for now.'"

  As soon as I touched it, it was indeed the case. There were many layers of packages of varying sizes on my forehead, and I estimated that the numbness had already lost its direct sensation. I just wanted to explain how powerful the slang of today's college students is. Suddenly, I remembered that since Li Chunfeng interrupted this deduction and damaged his ability, I must have looked at Yuan Tiangang's face for the road to breaking the curse from now on.

  It seems that our ancestors at this moment also don't have a clear strategic deployment! Now the east wind has arrived, but everything is not ready yet!

  "Since the Push Back Diagram can't calculate the next part, how am I supposed to lift this Curse of Ten Thousand Souls? Although I can recognize the Big Dipper, I don't see what it means!" I looked at my ancestors in frustration.

  The ancestors nodded, "This heavenly ritual requires four divine artifacts that will appear in the world with the ignition of the Xuanwu blood. Since you have ignited the Xuanwu blood, Xu Jun will guide you on the way back, no need to rush. The process of lifting the curse of ten thousand souls is also the process of finding these four divine artifacts. Where they are located is not your concern, what you need to do is make all kinds of preparations before embarking on the journey to lift the curse."

  "What is the Che Tian ceremony?" I was confused by my ancestor's words!

  "The ceremony of the Celestial Register is simply put, using the power of the Blood and Black Tortoise, with the help of four divine artifacts, to rewrite the Ghost Seal List, giving those vengeful spirits from previous dynasties a name and status, transforming their resentment into fame and profit, pardoning the crimes of these originally silent and wronged souls, so that they no longer suffer as wandering ghosts, obtaining a name and becoming ghostly generals."

  Listening to the ancestors' words, I suddenly realized. It turns out that this volume of heavenly rituals is actually a great amnesty for the souls of the dead, with the meaning of pacifying and redeeming them.

  "Although Yuan Tiangao messed up because of drinking, after all these years I have also figured it out, some things are destined and beyond human control, which is why miracles and accidents happen."

  Yuan Tiangai, in order to make up for his own mistakes, left his earthly soul on earth at the time of his ascension to immortality, waiting for the road to lift the curse, and this earthly soul is what you see now as Xu Jun in the Cui family! Listening to the ancestors' words confirmed Father's words, that Xu Bo was indeed Yuan Tiangai's earthly soul.

  It seems that this "Bai Cui Feng" is indeed a big shot as rumored.

  "Ancestor, I have something that's been puzzling me terribly and making me feel uncomfortable, which is why Xu Bo has this skin tone? Could it be that Yuan Tiangang had Caucasian ancestry back then?" I blurted out the doubts in my heart and suddenly felt much more at ease!

  My ancestors heard my words and suddenly burst out laughing, with sparks flying out of their noses and mouths: "What are you talking about! Yuan Tiangeng is a true Huaxia person, don't lump him in with those stick-wielding people. Every time he sees someone, he says they're from Stick Country. Just the other day, the newspaper said I was from Stick Country too! The ghostly disciplinary committee even specially summoned me for a talk! It's infuriating, just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes!

  Looking at the ancestor's sad and inverted expression, I suddenly choked back my smile and continued to listen: "This thing is also funny, I told you that you can keep it a secret! I promised Yuan Tiangai that I would say that having children has no buttocks!"

  As soon as I heard that the child was born without buttocks, I quickly reached out and touched, fortunately it was still convex in front and concave in back.

  As I watched the ancestors, who hadn't said a word yet, with their mouths watering and sparks flying everywhere, I suddenly retreated backward violently, afraid of being roasted unintentionally. After the ancestors finally calmed down a bit, they continued to say:

  "This Yuan Tian Ge is a person with extreme cleanliness, and he also claims to be the number one handsome man in the Tang Dynasty. When it comes to this number one handsome man, I don't even bother to mention him, just by comparing himself to me like that, can he compare? This stinky shameless thing, it's infuriating! This guy, in order to show off and boost his prestige, in the few days before leaving behind his soul, was desperately washing his own soul, ah, it was really... with a "ka ka" sound, loudly, those who knew were laughing at him washing his own soul, while those who didn't know thought he was brushing shoes! He really put in effort and used a lot of force!"

  Listening to the ancestor's words, that fiery scene suddenly appeared before my eyes. "You guess what, this guy washed for 49 days in a row and actually turned his yellow skin into vitiligo! And what's even more ridiculous is that in order to make his own earth soul look normal, he put it under the scorching sun for 49 days, numbness, it's simply beastly, it's simply too miserable!"

  "Just listening to my ancestors, I'm trembling. This thing is too cruel! After being sentimental for a while, the ancestor said, 'As a result, this earth soul was washed into its current state. Due to excessive exposure to the sun, it can't be exposed to light. No matter where it goes, it has to hold a paper umbrella. How pitiful!"

  By this time, I am very sympathetic to the current Xu Bo. To have such a master is almost comparable to my own bad luck! It's really that every family has its own difficulties and everyone has their own troubles!

  As I was deeply immersed in sorrow, my ancestors burst out laughing and said: "If that guy knew what his soul looks like now, he'd be so angry his mustache would be crooked." His mustache twitched and indeed became crooked, the efficiency of this bitter smile conversion is simply off the charts.

  This crying and laughing frequency has amused me! After we laughed for a few minutes, I curiously said: "Ancestor, this Xu Bo's matter has always made me feel very curious, no wonder I felt that something was not normal, it turned out to be not human!" When I said this, I felt like I had said something wrong, and somehow it felt like a shrew scolding in the street.

  "It's not human" is clearly a scolding rhythm, but I couldn't think of any words to replace it, so I longed for my ancestors to explain. My ancestors laughed and said: "Haha haha, it's not human, but isn't it not human? Can humans do such things as getting drunk and pushing people?" At this point, my ancestors' teeth started chattering again, and if you didn't know better, you'd think they were chewing on dry noodles!