Chapter Seventeen: The Black and White Gods

  Just as I was lost in thought, I heard my ancestors burst out laughing again. However, since I already knew their identities, I wasn't as terrified as before, but the vivid scene added a touch of awkwardness and reduced some of the fear.

  It would be great if our ancestors in the underworld had hired a beautician from Japan, it wouldn't have been so bad even if they just did a simple makeover. But this voice is indeed sexy and full-bodied.

  "You little guy has a bit of humor, quite like my style back in the day! I, Cui Ju, was talented and handsome, wise and charming, with equal parts talent and humor. Speaking of Lao Tie's family, from Ironing onwards, every generation of the Iron family liked to keep their hair long. Although it's convenient when hiding, it looks melancholic when showing off, and it looks elegant when blowing in the wind..."

  I was thinking to myself, the ancestors' bit by bit accumulation is not small, I didn't expect that having long hair has so many benefits. I touched my own buzz cut and suddenly felt a little inferior, wishing to pull out a lot of hair. But considering the lesson of "assisting growth by pulling seedlings", I gave up.

  After a while, my ancestor suddenly changed the subject "But this is not good, it wastes shampoo and water, and it's not environmentally friendly at all! And having long hair means you're not confident, kiddo, I like your hairstyle!" Seeing my ancestor laughing, my tension was instantly thrown out of the window. This impartial judge is really a jokester, it seems that the rumors in this world are not true. Gossip is just gossip, although the name sounds cool, but basically unreliable!

  He spoke while using his coarse big hands to pinch and knead my face, as if he were making dough. My facial features moved around with his large hands, my nose was pressed under my ear, and my mouth was stretched open for over half a meter. He only let go when I had tears streaming down my face. It took me a lot of effort to pull my mouth back into place.

  At this moment, I also felt that the newly ignited mind-reading technique had gone out, and from the reflection of my ancestors' pupils, the blue light in my eyes had quietly disappeared.

  The seemingly intimate action of my ancestor rubbing my face actually has life-threatening consequences. When my ancestor was rubbing my face, the saliva that splashed out accidentally scalded several small blisters on my cheek, I really don't know how big a fire my ancestor has, if I had known earlier, I would have brought some cool tea to help my ancestor reduce the fire!

  Looking at his expression, it seems that in his eyes I am just a 4 or 5 year old kid, which makes me feel quite pained and embarrassed.

  As I was feeling embarrassed and continued to feel embarrassed, I heard a laugh from beside me, a kind of laughter that made my hair stand on end. It was like someone was laughing with their mouth full of water, giving me goosebumps all over my body. Damn it, how annoying! I turned around and said "I'm going to...", accompanied by the pain in my forehead and my ancestor's suspended fingers. As expected, after hearing my habitual interjection, my ancestor gave me a slap on the forehead.

  I saw that the unpredictable black and white gods had appeared, I held my head and looked at the two slender "needles" in front of me. The black one was Fan Wujue, the white one was Xie Bi'an, their names were like thunder in my ears!

  As roles that frequently appear in various Chinese TV dramas and movies, the deeds of these two are known to all, with a reputation second only to my ancestors! Heibai Wuchang, also known as General Fan Xie, or Wuchang the Second Master, is the envoy who captures the living soul at the time of death. He is the underworld's superstar, responsible for escorting the deceased from the world of the living to the afterlife.

  It's said that Lao Hei Fan and Xiao Bai Xie Bi'an are a pair of good friends who have forgotten their age difference, they had sworn brotherhood in the early years. One day, according to the weather forecast, a cyclone was approaching and heavy rain was coming. The two thought it wouldn't be a big deal going out, but as soon as they left home and arrived at Tainan Bridge, the heavy rain came pouring down, pattering loudly, and they got soaked!

  The old black man looked at his new clothes and freshly cut hair, then made a fuss about going home to get an umbrella. Xiao Bai didn't want to go and stayed at the bridgehead waiting. After the old black man went home, he first wiped his clothes, then combed his hair, and finally pasted a yellow flower on his mirror. As a result of dawdling, time passed unknowingly. By the time he finally left the house and arrived at the bridgehead, Xiao Bai was already gone.

  Originally, Xiaobai waited to death and then died. This scared Laohei so much that he hanged himself without thinking twice. This touching story moved Yanwangye, and he became a ghost catcher. To commemorate this deep friendship, the tongues of these two were preserved in their shape at the time of departure until now.

  Seeing these two people appear, I am full of surprise and respect!

  Only those who have attempted suicide will empathize with each other, although the difference is between life and death, but the process is exactly the same!

  These two tall and thin figures stood before me like two electric poles, so thin they seemed to be two flashes of lightning. The chef-like hats on their heads were already beginning to split and lose threads, I don't know if it was due to long-term use or poor quality, but in any case, they looked very shabby. One of them, Hei Wuchang, wore a tall hat with the four characters "Yi Jian Sheng Cai" (Good Fortune at First Sight); Bai Wuchang had a fierce expression and his tall hat had the four characters "Tian Xia Tai Ping" (Peace Under Heaven).

  This strange laughter was apparently caused by the long tongue being dragged outside, puffing and panting, like two cows were tied up beside me. As soon as I mentioned the word "cow", I remembered that the cow head was still at the bridge edge, fortunately it hadn't been discovered yet.

  Looking at the ancestors staring at me with a kind eye, in order to prevent the ancestors from suddenly getting excited and hugging me tightly, even if I wouldn't be laughed to death by these two black and white brothers, I would still be roasted by the fire in his mouth. So, I quickly changed my face and became serious. At this time, I also discovered a fact, that is, the people in this underworld, their images are all very vivid, basically just looking at their appearance can tell who is who, completely no need for self-introduction.

  Also, these two have a reputation that is really loud in the mortal world! They often appear as characters in movies and TV shows, with a screen presence even higher than my ancestors. They are considered to be the hottest stars in the underworld! I'm worried that these two gentlemen will throw their weight around, so I hurriedly put on a flattering smile, afraid of offending them and being treated unfairly.

  As for why these two are black and white, I've heard a story that the underworld is also a career system with many benefits and good treatment, belonging to a powerful department. The position is very competitive because of the large workload and management area, so catching ghosts is a huge task. But there's only one position available, it can't be just one person working shifts all the time, that would be too tiring! So King Yan thought of a solution, called "one post two people". That means each person works half a day, and two people share one salary!

  To ensure the quality of work and maintain the legitimate rights of Gui Chai, when setting up positions at first, in order to distinguish conveniently, Bai Wuchang works during the day and Hei Wuchang works at night. However, since both Wuchangs look very similar, they can only be distinguished by one being black and the other white. This way, two people share one salary, it's simply a huge profit, and is considered a classic case in economics! I thought this reason was very reasonable at first!

  "Hei" and "Bai" represent yin and yang, morning and evening. Hei Wu Chang and Bai Wu Chang serve in the underworld, equivalent to the role of a bailiff or constable according to worldly standards. Just by looking at the handcuffs and shackles in their hands, you can tell they are fierce and formidable characters.

  I watched my ancestors using the soul-reading technique to communicate with these two superstars, I made an effort to squeeze out a "chicken eye" shape, trying to read what they were saying, so this scene became a three-person conversation, one person jumping up and down adjusting the focus. This feeling gave me a strong urge to protest, this officially appointed ghostly messenger can do whatever he wants, while I have to work so hard, with obvious discriminatory overtones.

  My head can only be like an antenna, constantly adjusting to ensure a smooth connection. If my gaze deviates slightly, the signal will be poor, and the words projected into my brain by my ancestors will be intermittent, with typos and a lot of noise, making the conversation very poor and frustrating.

  I can only continue to adjust my body at any time, moving with a "chicken eye" posture, in order to keep the signal full and the conversation smooth. It's really the same everywhere, pretending to be cool is always present, wearing sunglasses in the room, opening an airplane on the toilet, even though there are several people nearby, but still using "reading soul technique", wasting energy and effort, eyes hurt, why not just start talking directly, wouldn't that be easier?

  At this moment, my ancestor glanced at me unintentionally, and I suddenly remembered that my ancestor could see through my thoughts. I immediately stopped thinking and forcibly shifted my attention.

  However, thanks to my ancestors' existence, I've become a lot bolder. If it weren't for the fact that I've already recognized them, otherwise with their appearance plus Hei Bai Wu Chang's two, I reckon it wouldn't be just fainting but directly dying from fright. The thick moss on their tongues is truly breathtaking.

  The scene before my eyes is truly magnificent! At this moment, the combination of the Yama and the Hei Bai Wu Chang appeared in front of me, chatting away. One was a burly man resembling Zhang Fei or Li Kui, while the other two were slender and thin, with tongues as long as toothpicks sticking out of their mouths. They didn't seem to be speaking, but when they did, especially when they laughed, it sent shivers down my spine. I was afraid that these two would accidentally bite off their own tongues or flail them about and slap me in the face, causing a loss of face.

  The saliva sprayed by ancestors is all sparks, these two are excited and their big tongues swing around, it's really risky to watch from the side, be careful when watching!

  Although this scene is quite scary, these three are all famous big shots, I don't dare to be seen through my thoughts, I must be beaten badly, let alone the most powerful one is my ancestor, and my courage has increased by a few points!

  When there's an official at home, even ghosts dare not tread!

  In this underworld, I'm not just a silhouette, but also someone with a background!

  At this time, looking at the ancestors, I found that they were more handsome and pleasing to the eye than before! I don't know if it's psychological or ancestral reasons. Or are the ancestors so-called second-glance handsome guys?

  As I continued to adjust, I finally understood what they were saying, although there was still some noise. The black and white impermanence put down the handcuffs and foot chains in his hand, plus the soul-calling flag and mourning stick on his hand, which really had a bit of an underworld detective feel. The only drawback is that this uniform is really not good, obviously not seductive, resulting in a serious decline in the degree of pretentiousness.

  "Brother Cui, is this young man the Cui Ming you mentioned last time? The outstanding figure among the descendants of the Cui family. I must say, this young man looks quite good, tall and handsome, with a refined appearance, similar to yours. No wonder you've always been the champion of our city's most handsome men! And also serving as the image ambassador of our city, indeed a superior breed!" Upon hearing this, my impression of this guy was completely overturned!