Chapter 28: Corpse on the Other Shore

  "In fact, this Naihe Situdu is quite fierce, but in the underworld, it's not considered a particularly impressive beast. Compared to the likes of Taotie, Candle Dragon, Kui Cow, Water Qilin, White Ze, Bi Fang, Pi Xiu, Jiao, Yinglong, Lu Wu, and Fei Yi, these overlords of hell, Naihe Situdu is at best just a domesticated animal, not a fierce beast! Those are the ones that are purely natural, non-polluting, and absolutely brutal." This string of words spewing out from my ancestors' mouths left me completely bewildered, unable to conjure up any images.

  The ancestors continued to say, "Blood River Pool is a civilized unit of the underworld for many years. The degree of violence and hard work is only secondary. The most terrifying place in this underworld is the eighteen layers of hell, which is the nightmare of evil spirits, the paradise of terror, and the slaughterhouse of yin souls!"

  Thinking of this, I asked "Ancestor, are these eighteen layers of hell really eighteen layers? Is there an elevator?"

  The ancestors smiled and shook their heads, saying: "Foolish boy, the eighteen layers of hell should be eighteen heavy! It's not divided into levels, but it's described by region size, like a science park, each one is a completely different project, only people misunderstand. Because hell death is infinite and uninterrupted cycle, so hell is called Wu Jian Di Yu, meaning suffering without interruption, not even one second can rest, eternal suffering. People are confused, doing evil for a lifetime, forever paying back!"

  At this time, I remembered a famous saying: What goes around comes around! Death is not liberation, but a real beginning.

  "Never mind, let's not talk about such sentimental topics. Let's talk about something more interesting instead. Next time I'll take you to visit the Eighteen Levels of Hell. No matter how vividly I describe it, it's nothing compared to seeing and experiencing it for yourself." Upon hearing my ancestor's words, I quickly shook my head like a rattle drum, who goes sightseeing in hell, is he crazy?!

  While speaking, the ancestor reached into the Naihe River and grasped at the air, and a lotus flower the size of a palm appeared in his hand. Looking at the ancestor's hand, I only then discovered that within the stamens of this lotus flower were small, crimson fruit resembling fallen flowers, while the tip of the stem was a human bone dyed blood red. Flower Bone?

  After the ancestors pulled down the red small fruit from the flower head, they threw the flower plate and flower bone back into the river water. Unexpectedly, it restored to its original state, as if it had never been picked before. It seems that the growth ability of this Peony is really good.

  Ancestors put the small red fruit in my hand and said eat, it's a snack, nourishing the kidneys and spleen. I took over the ancestors again handed over the "fragrant" cigarette filled with incense flavor and ate the small red fruit with relish. The small red fruit looks like a fruit, but when eaten, it has a meaty texture similar to dried meat. With the fragrant cigarette paired with the small red fruit, I enjoyed the scenery of the underworld, looking at the ghosts everywhere, feeling superior.

  "Chui Ming, I'm so sorry to have let you down. As the ancestor of our family, I feel ashamed for not being able to protect you properly. In a moment of impulsiveness, I punished you severely. People say it's hard to be both loyal and filial at the same time. As the judge of the underworld, responsible for managing the spirits, I couldn't even protect my own family members. This is the greatest regret of my life." The ancestor's worried expression was truly sorrowful.

  It's rare to see such a serious performance that makes me involuntarily ponder how the ancestors' great sorrow turned into great joy was honed, it came suddenly and directly hit my face, this skill is difficult for even those big-name movie emperors and queens to imitate, unable to be replicated.

  What am I supposed to be moved by? Moved by what? Or moved by what?

  Just as I was trying to calm down, my ancestor looked at me and said, "How's the taste of this 'corpse fruit'? Not bad, right?" I subconsciously nodded, then suddenly realized something and asked, "Corpse fruit?" My ancestor nodded: "It's the fruit that grows from the rotten bones of those scoundrels who were thrown into the water by the Ox-Headed and Horse-Faced Guards. In the mortal world, it's called 'carnal tumor' or something!" When I heard my ancestor's words, this time I really couldn't hold it in, and I vomited again, feeling a wave of nausea that seemed to reach all the way up to my throat. This stomach of mine was truly a source of trouble, with no gains but only losses.

  It's true, this vomiting really makes one calm down, thinking it over and over again, in any case, there's no going back now.

  "I'm telling you, ancestors, I'll definitely do this, no matter the cost, even if it means death. This trip to the underworld has left me shaken, my physiological responses are delayed, and even my guts have shrunk back in! At this rate, I reckon there's nothing left inside except for a big heart. If I still have courage, then I'll still have dreams!"

  I'm telling the truth, recently happened one after another scene, any fragment thinking back to before I would have fainted, paralyzed limbs, incontinence.

  "I gazed at my ancestors in front of me and continued to express my emotions: 'Cui Ming, you don't know, thinking about it brings tears. Do you think I'm indifferent? Not suffering? I'm also a man with feelings and righteousness, a true man!' I laughed towards the sky with a horizontal sword, leaving behind my liver, gallbladder, and kidneys. Cui Ming, our old Cui family is not easy to come by!"

  I took a deep drag on the fragrant incense in my hand, and it seems that our ancestors' smoking addiction is not bad either. The nostrils that sprayed smoke were like two small volcanoes erupting. I watched too intently, and as a result, I was choked by the "fragrant" smoke that had just entered my lungs, causing tears and snot to flow out at the same time. I saw our ancestor's surprised eyes, definitely thinking that I was infected by his words, so I had tears and snot all over my face, with an expression that seemed very pleased. After three seconds of thought, I made a decision not to explain.

  I admit this, if Zu Zong's appearance says she is a woman, then the Women's Federation of both Yin and Yang realms will not let her off.

  "Think of me, Cui Ke, a life of integrity and honor, yet unable to escape the entanglements of countless souls. Facing the treacherous sea of ghosts and the eerie mountains, I remain unflappable in the face of danger. Since you have such great courage and confidence, let us laugh together at the vast ocean and the surging tides on both shores!"

  A sense of magnificent and free-spiritedness has taken over my heart, I stroked a big package, saying it's okay.

  "Li Chunfeng said that to lift the curse of Wan Hun, we need to start by using the ink color Xuanwu. I thought about it and isn't that just starting a fire? I studied 'Tu Bei Tu' day and night, without sleep or rest, my hair uncombed, my nose hairs untrimmed. Do you know what this is for? Kid, your ancestor, I'm not showing off, but accumulating fame and fortune!"

  I looked at my ancestor's explosive hairstyle, the distinctive nose hair that stood out, and the beard that was baring its teeth, I admitted that being an ancestor wasn't easy either.

  The ancestors sneered and laughed, "In order to ignite the ink-colored Xuanwu, I used all kinds of fires in the yin-yang realm, coal gas, explosives, electric furnaces, lightning fire, underworld dark fire, magma fire, and even when I was on fire myself, I used my own stomach fire. It's just that it didn't work, I'm so numb that I've smoked my skin to this color, but I still can't ignite the ink-colored Xuanwu!"

  Moved by his ancestors' feelings, he wiped away a tear and woke up two handfuls of snot, which he then casually smeared on his official robes.

  It wasn't until then that I realized our ancestors' dark skin tone was actually a result of this, and it's an absolute secret.

  "Chui Ming, I'd say that as a judge, I'm really not cut out for this reasoning and calculation business. Now whenever I bring up the 'Push Back Diagram', I get spiritually weak and almost go crazy. For example, I've been looking at the star chart for over a hundred years now, but I still can't find the North Dipper - they say it's shaped like a ladle, but when I take a glance, all I see is a dense mess of stars... which one is supposed to be the ladle again?"

  Listening to the ancestors' words, imagining the two meters of sweat, gazing up at the starry sky, how romantic.

  At that time, I didn't enter the ancestor's rhythmic frequency at all, but was deeply immersed in the romantic atmosphere that the ancestors had just created. The romantic complex of a liberal arts student suddenly burst out and drowned me.

  "In the underworld, I'm a leader, but think about it, this is the underworld, not heaven. The air quality is poor, the salary and benefits are low. Even though I'm extremely handsome, every day I face things that are completely inhuman. I'm a man, a real man, facing these things every day. Even if I want to play by the rules, I couldn't find anyone worthy of my attention. It's been thousands of years since I've seen a beautiful woman. Look at this underworld, whose male hormones are flying?"

  Listening to this, thinking about the ancestors is indeed quite difficult. In front of ghosts, they have to pretend to be arrogant, but behind them, they often cry and weep. The loneliness of a wealthy and handsome person may seem unreasonable to others, but who knows the sorrow hidden behind the pretentiousness of a young man in his prime? No wonder the ancestors could watch Meng Po blow whistles, it's understandable, it's human nature.

  It's basically come to the point where it's okay as long as it's not a man! Oh no, that's just the usual ghostly behavior! Anyway, I woke up from my own fanciful and deviant thinking because of an ancestor's sneeze which made my hair catch fire again with a burning smell. While I was patting out the flames on my head, I was dancing around, and you can imagine how embarrassing it looked.

  Watching the fire on my head getting more and more intense, I still thought my ancestors were reliable. They stretched out their palms and spat a mouthful of water, wanting me to cover the flames on my head with it. Looking at that lava-like substance, I immediately softened and refused my ancestors' kind intentions. With an inverted posture, I rubbed against the road to extinguish the fire on the Yellow Spring Road, rubbing, rubbing against the road in the underworld.

  "It doesn't matter, when you return to the world of the living, your hair will be the same as before, nothing's wrong." Listening to my ancestor's words, I finally put my mind at ease. Thinking that if my handsome face were paired with a Mediterranean hairstyle due to being scorched, my legs would cramp up - I'm a brave warrior who loves his face more than he loves his life!

  Under the reminder of my ancestors, I heard the three words "Tu Bei Tu" that my ancestor said earlier echoing in my ears. Although I had heard my ancestor mention this thing before, I really didn't know what "Tu Bei Tu" was!

  "The Pushing Hands Diagram" sounds like a treasure of the sauna and massage world, not some heavenly book. But I really have no interest in the massage industry! So, I could only shake my head helplessly. "You're a history major, right? How come you've never heard of 'The Pushing Hands Diagram', this historical masterpiece? Was it your teacher who didn't teach you or did you just not study?! This is basic knowledge, okay?!"

  Seeing the ancestor's shocking expression, I was extremely frightened, afraid that this guy would spit out some fire again, so I whispered: "Actually, I'm studying Chinese! I can recite and write poetry! Occasionally I get distracted and melancholic, especially good at writing love letters."

  My words were cut off, and my ancestors' eyebrows jumped up as soon as they heard this. Those so-called ultimate skills that moved their ears were simply weak in front of them. "Say it again? What are you learning? Chinese? Isn't that what foreigners learn? You're a proud descendant of the Han people, speaking Chinese every day, and you still need to learn it? I thought our family had finally produced someone with great knowledge, but it turns out you're just learning Chinese, and you've only just learned to recognize characters! All these years, that's all you've been doing? What a misfortune for our family...

  Ancestor's words really made me sweat, after I briefly introduced my major, ancestor still looked down on what I learned. This reminds me of when I was waiting for the interview result, the secretary gave me a disdainful look.

  Finally, my ancestors' concerns were completely dispelled after I recited the Three Character Classic from memory, and they praised me for having a mind full of ideas like a spring, talent pouring out like a flood, having some knowledge, not being illiterate.