Book 5 Chapter 1 (Part 1) Don't Eat Things Randomly

  The air was filled with an eerie silence, with countless eyes fixed on me. After a pause, Yun Dalang's voice echoed faintly: "Lin Fei, I've been waiting for you for a long time. You didn't disappoint me after all."

  In an instant, the shouting voices surged like a burst dam: "Lin Fei has arrived!", "Lin Fei! Lin Fei!" The demons and monsters were excitedly gesticulating. Facing the ferocious and intimidating Magic Slashing Heavenly Demon, they all had some dissatisfaction in their hearts, hoping that I could dampen the opponent's sharp spirit.

  The crowd parted to make a path, and at the end of the road, Yun Dalang stood far away, his black hair disheveled, like a dark ghost with his head bowed in thought. I walked straight up, meeting the excited, surprised, and admiring eyes around me, until I stopped in front of Yun Dalang.

  "Little brother, it's been a long time." Among the group of demons from Rasetsu, Sanzaburou smiled wryly and waved at me. Tsuchibachiyo and Mizutora glared at me with anger in their eyes, while the other demons looked at me with curiosity.

  I gave Sanlang a cold look: "Stop trying to buddy up with me, I'm not buying it. Seeing how energetic I am, you must be very disappointed, huh?"

  "You are not me, how can you know whether I am disappointed or happy in my heart? Don't measure a gentleman's belly with a small man's heart."

  "Ah ah, you see me very happy, just like a prostitute loves her customer." I retorted.

  Wan Sanlang smiled slightly and didn't get angry at all: "Little brother's words are still so sharp, just a bit rougher. A dog can't spit out ivory."

  I burst out laughing: "Speak to people in their language, speak to ghosts in theirs. When you run into a wild dog that's barking loudly, how can it understand human language? It's better to be rough and suit its nature. Just like your Lord Dung Beetle from the Magic Slaughter Heaven, he doesn't even like delicacies, but only loves eating dung."

  A burst of laughter erupted from the crowd, with some people applauding enthusiastically. I clasped my hands together in a fist and bowed to all sides with a self-satisfied smile. Sanlang's tongue was quick-witted, but I wasn't one to be trifled with either. This verbal sparring match was something I had already mastered on the streets of Luoyang, where I had outdone beggars, swindlers, thieves, and robbers.

  Mizu Rokurō said calmly, "A thing that doesn't know life or death, still wagging its tongue at the moment of death." Tsuchi Hachirō's eyes flashed with a fierce light: "Why must the boss take action? Let me skin this rabbit alive and dig out his internal elixir to supplement my own!"

  Yun Dalang waved his hand coldly and said, "This is a decisive battle between me and Lin Fei. Regardless of the outcome, none of you are allowed to intervene. Otherwise, don't blame me for being ruthless."

  A surge of admiration rose in my heart, and I gave a thumbs up: "Under the Demon Lord's seat, only you are a good man." In secret, I thought to myself, this guy is a bit stupid. If it were me, I would have beaten him to a pulp long ago.

  A gentle, fragrant breeze swept past, and Hai Ji and Gan Ning hurried over together. The two lifted their bamboo hats, the former pouting her mouth, gazing at me with a resentful expression, while the latter stood with her hands behind her back, looking up at the sky with an icy indifference.

  "Sea Girl! Kan Liting is true!" The crowd was in an uproar again, and Sanlang stared straight at Kan Liting, his eyes shining brightly as he hastily adjusted his clothes and transformed into a lovely little white face.

  I gave a wry smile to Haiji and Gan Ning, and had no choice but to drag them into this as well. Haiji pouted, "You're so stubborn now, you don't even listen to me anymore. Go ahead and hit me if you want, it's not like anyone else would care about your well-being anyway."

  I hastily coaxed her with sweet words, but Gan Ning suddenly said: "Lin Fei has his own mind, let him go." I was slightly stunned and looked at her, just meeting her gaze. Her clear eyes were as calm as autumn water, although it was a brief glance, it seemed to have seen into my heart.

  "Brother Lin, can we start now?" Yun Dalang asked with his head lowered.

  I nodded, turned back to Haixi and Ganning, and said loudly: "Regardless of the outcome, neither of you two should intervene." Lowering my voice, I winked: "However, a living person can't be suffocated by urine, one must know how to be flexible and adaptable."

  "Hai Ji puffed out a laugh: 'Be careful.' I took a deep breath, taking the initiative, with a charming dance pose, my legs kicked towards Yun Dalang in a linked manner."

  Yun Dalang's head didn't lift, his shoulders didn't move, he slid backwards smoothly, still maintaining the posture of holding the black package. The black silk ribbon was blown up by his body shape, like a dancing poisonous snake, a kind of eerie and terrifying aura spread out invisibly.

  My heart skipped a beat and I felt a little scared.

  Suddenly, a clear and melodious singing voice came from below:

  "A generous lament"

  "May your journey be glorious!" The song was like a flash of snowy sword light, piercing the sky. Faintly, there were sounds of clear and crisp gold and stone.

  My heart skipped a beat, my gaze swept across, the evening waves were vast and misty, Gan Ning truly stood on the banks of the Fragrant River, his snowy clothes fluttering, striking his sword and singing loudly, his eyebrows heroic and majestic like a stroke of brilliant sunset glow.

  "Surging waves swallow all within the horizon,"

  Good luck on your journey!

  Though the string is broken

  The song is not left behind

  "Cut off the mountains and rivers at their waist!"

  What a magnificent sendoff for you! I suddenly felt my courage and energy boosted. "Clap, clap", Haiji raised one side of her arms high, crisp claps, harmonizing with Gan Ning's song, like a series of loud and powerful war drums:

  "Do not ask about right and wrong, success or failure."

  Crying is also a matter of life and death.

  Laughter gathers and disperses.

  We just enjoy ourselves.

  Even if the wind is cold and the bones are buried.

  "Only say no leave no abandon!"

  The sweet and refreshing wind, the clear and crisp singing voice, a head of jet-black long hair seemed to shine in the twilight. I felt a surge of heroic spirit rushing to my head, laughing loudly, I rushed towards Yun Dalang. That one white lotus dress fluttering in the night, Hai Ji's deep and affectionate eyes looking up at me, shattered the last bit of fear in my heart!

  Yun Dalang's figure flashed open again, and I chased after him relentlessly, unleashing a whirlwind of attacks. The two of us flew along the riverbank, then landed on the water's surface, before charging up onto the star laurel tree in the middle of the river. Petals from the star laurel flowers scattered everywhere, splashing golden light into the dark flowing water.

  Yun Dalang never counterattacked and didn't have time to do so, being temporarily suppressed by Mei Wu's dance. My gaze was tightly locked onto his hands, and as soon as he tried to untie the black bundle, I would immediately recite the Thousand Knots Curse.

  "Bang", a Star Osmanthus tree was cut off at the waist by me, and Yun Dalang floated down, before he fell to the river surface, a puppet waterman emerged from the river, under my control, fiercely pounced on the opponent. The broken Star Osmanthus tree also turned into a puppet treeman, attacking Yun Dalang from both sides.

  Just as they were about to succeed, Yun Dalang suddenly opened his black robe, like a large dark cloud covering the puppet tree people and water people. The black robe rolled violently, and when it opened again, the puppet tree people and water people had disappeared, as if swallowed by the black robe.

  I didn't show any signs of fatigue, and I quickly switched between nearly a hundred different spells to launch a fierce attack. The demons and monsters around me couldn't help but let out cries of surprise and cheers. Until this moment, Yun Dalang still hadn't been able to free himself from the black package.

  Flames raging, I spat out a mouthful of true fire, and Cloud Big Brother dodged to the side, but my previously prepared charming dance struck him right on target. "Bang bang", my legs drew beautiful arcs, accurately hitting Cloud Big Brother's abdomen.

  At the same time, Yun Dalang raised his head, a white cloud surged from his face and spread throughout his body. My feet felt like they were stepping into a soft and fluffy cloud, unable to withstand it. I hastily withdrew my foot, leaned back, and flipped over, with both arms slanting upwards, striking Yun Dalang again. My left fist secretly contained the Hunyuan Jiaoyu technique, while my right fist transformed into a sharp steel thorn.

  The white cloud suddenly dispersed, and the chaotic armor technique struck out a small gap, revealing the black robe color inside. Before I could follow up with my fist, the white cloud closed the gap again like lightning, causing my punch to fall empty.

  "Be careful, Brother Lin." Yundalang emerged from the white clouds like a ghost, stretched out his hand and opened the black silk ribbon on the black package with lightning speed, grasping the timing perfectly.

  The courtyard fell silent in an instant, and I could still faintly hear Mizuroku's maniacal laughter.

  A glimmer of light flashed by, and the thousand knots I had prepared for a long time were all tied at the same moment. Dozens of crystal threads suddenly wrapped around the mouth of the package and quickly tied a knot. The black package hadn't been fully opened yet, but it was already tied up again with crystal threads.

  The black package was violently surging, and the things inside seemed to be desperately trying to drill out, but were tightly tied up by the thousand knots. Cloud Great Lang's shoulder shook slightly, and he growled: "Thousand Knots Spell! I didn't expect Brother Lin to have learned the untransmitted secrets of Turpan."

  "No diamond, who dares to take on the porcelain job? Haha, your black package is useless now!" My heart bursts with joy, and the curse finally takes effect! Dear and respected Turpan, I'll definitely help you burn paper money on Qingming Festival!

  One by one, the knots were tied without stopping, like wrapping a rice dumpling, tightly and firmly sealing the opening of the package. I struck the snake with my stick, silently reciting the thousand-knot curse, wanting to use the cursed thread to bind Yun Dalang.

  Silent and invisible, the transparent threads wrapped around Yun Dalang's hands and feet, quickly knotting. I was overjoyed, Yun Dalang had fallen into my Thousand Knots Curse, just like a pig on the chopping board, waiting for me to slaughter him. Seeing Yun Dalang's limbs tightly bound by the curse, unable to move, I took advantage of the opportunity to strike him with a fierce punch.

  "Ah!" Yun Dalang shouted loudly, biting his tongue and suddenly spitting out a mouthful of blood. Whoa, not even fighting yet and already vomiting blood, trying to get my sympathy?

  A flower in front of my eyes, a white cloud suddenly emerged from the black robe, "whoosh", I punched the empty and fluttering black robe, the black robe fell softly and dropped into the river, caught by the branches of the star willow tree, swaying with the water waves. The cuffs and hem of the black robe still sparkled with bright and shiny curse threads.

  Yun Dalang miraculously disappeared into the black robe!