Chapter 8

  Five years.

  Five years can bring about many changes, such as changing a person's character, changing a person's appearance, changing a person's fate, changing????

  I don't know if we'll meet again as that innocent girl, that rebellious girl who didn't like to talk.

  Alright, let's directly pull the time to five years later is somewhat impolite. Let's first talk about this sharp blade of time from five years ago.

  I'm still at home enjoying the nutritious meals my family has prepared for me as I prepare for my upcoming middle school entrance exam. It's been a long time since I noticed that someone was missing. I didn't even realize she hadn't been in school for several days or weeks already.

  She used to be too quiet and didn't like to talk. If it weren't for the trouble she stirred up, she would probably have been forgotten by people in the crowd a long time ago.

  That was noon on June 3rd. This is what Xiaoxiao and I said.

  This day was etched in Xiaoxiao's memory, and every year thereafter, whenever this day came around, she felt as if she had fallen into an icy abyss or hell. Xiaoxiao's father had known beforehand that he had cancer, and the doctor's diagnosis had informed him in black and white that his time on this earth was limited. Xiaoxiao didn't know any of this, and her father hadn't told her; if he had, it would have been too heart-wrenching. It wasn't until later, when someone was helping her father sort through his belongings, that Xiaoxiao stumbled upon the things he had left behind. Perhaps now you can understand why he had found a stepmother for Xiaoxiao.

  Now even more bewildered is perhaps the blonde-haired woman, she knelt there, crying her heart out. Passersby who heard it also broke into a cold sweat. After all, this was her man! A husband of just a few years, the man who had cheated on her and promised to be good for life!

  In June, the weather in the south has already entered the scorching summer. However, Xiaoxiao's heart is so cold. She watches as the woman cries her heart out, but she herself makes no sound. Her mind doesn't know what to think.

  She knelt in front of the coffin emitting a pungent smell of paint, looking at the fluttering white cloth strips, the dim yellow candlelight.

  Don't talk.

  What do you think she should look like? She stared at the coffin, tears streaming down her face. Even if she cried blind, she still couldn't speak. The person lying in there was her only reliance.

  In a few days, yin and yang will be separated, and they will become a pile of white bones. This is how hard it is for her to accept the fact!

  Xiao Xiao, perhaps someone should tell you many things, but who?

  Is your father dead?

  Is it the mother who left you, or that woman with yellow hair, who once stared at you with big eyes? What can I do for you? The few words after this day are just reopening old wounds.

  The sky didn't rain, but Xiaoxiao's heart was overcast.

  Where did you come from and where are you going?

  That home without her father is no longer her home. How can I help you?

  Who else can warm your heart at times?

  Lin Qi is still here, but you're gone.

  You are still here, but your father is gone. I don't know how the smell of that painted oil became the most terrifying scent in your memory. Scattered throughout your growing memories, it gradually fades away.

  I see through time the fluttering white cloth strips, swaying the two clusters of yellow candles, the transcendent melody for the deceased, a teenage girl with tears bidding farewell to her only reliance.

  On that summer night, accompanied by the numbness of the night crow, it gradually subsided.

  Is life like a play? Or is the play like life? Either way, we don't have the right to rehearse. I can choose, and I'd be willing to start over before regretting it. Just like letting Xiao Xiao choose again.

  Is she willing to be in the same room as that woman, breathing the same air? To go back to that useless school? After all, there's still Lin Qi and those brothers she knows.

  Man, you can't be too proud, when it's time to bow your noble head, then bow.

  Lin Qi did not expect that a car took Xiao away and never brought her back.

  All the way until junior high school, all the way until graduation. Xiao Xiao just disappeared from Lin Qi's world. Disappeared from the sight of that group of people.

  I wanted to end all the stories about XiaoXiao here. But, I think it's not enough. Someone asked me if this isn't a romance story, why are there so few scenes between XiaoXiao and Lin Qi? Why are they still so young?! Why is the plot so dry?! From now on, I don't want to write anymore either.

  Not even imagination can be bothered to give it. Not everyone's life is so exciting, nor does it have to be as tragic as Xiao Xiao's. Life is originally dull and tasteless, right? But Xiao Xiao's world has flavor, filled with bitterness and sorrow. Like the beginning of a tragic history, I even hope that in the days to come, I won't meet her again, won't see her icy eyes. Then, my heart won't hurt so much.

  Many nights, I kept thinking about what kind of mindset I had when I entered that street. Curiosity? Exploration? Accidentally? Unintentionally? No matter what, I regret it. I regret seeing another Xiaoxiao. Regret...

  Xiao Xiao's dad is gone, and Xiao Xiao doesn't read books anymore. The empty room always makes her think of that coffin wood, the thick smell of varnish, and two clusters of yellow candles.

  The surroundings of the house are quieter as night falls. After returning home from school, Xiao Xiao stays in her own room, and some relatives have not dispersed yet, with a few older brothers living nearby to accompany Xiao Xiao for a month. Xiao Xiao has no impression of them. She only remembers her father, the person who exists longest and deepest in all her memories.

  At 9 o'clock in the evening, all the lights were on at home, and there were three or four tables of people playing cards. Generally, they would play all night, fearing that the host's family would be afraid, so they came to boost their morale. Xiao Xiao went back to her room to sleep by herself. She hadn't slept well for three days, and her head was spinning. As soon as she lay down on the bed, she fell asleep.

  "Xiao Xiao, shall Daddy send you to school?"

  "Dad, I don't want a stepmom! I don't want to go to school!" Xiao Xiao said stubbornly. The motorcycle was vaguely present.

  "Xiao ah, you didn't go so Dad went by himself. Actually, Dad didn't want to leave either." As she spoke, her father rode off on his motorcycle by himself.

  Xiao Xiao didn't know what had happened and why her dad left on his motorcycle by himself without taking her along.

  "Dad! Wait for me! Take me with you!"

  Xiao Xiao ran and ran, looking at the motorcycle not far from herself, slowly heading into the wilderness. There was wild grass tangled around her feet, she fell down, and the car also stopped, her father turned back to look at her, "Xiao Xiao, we're here."

  Xiao Xiao looked up at her father, but saw a grave instead, with freshly dug earth.

  Xiao Xiao was frightened and suddenly saw the coffin wood, with white cloth strips floating around. "Dad! Ah dad!" Xiao Xiao called out, but couldn't see anything anymore.

  She suddenly opened her eyes and saw the bright light. It wasn't until a while later that she remembered, her father had already passed away.

  Xiao Xiao was terrified, if what he said was true, that his father had passed away, then the person she dreamed of wasn't a ghost? She shivered at the thought and listened to the sounds outside the door, crying to herself. How old is Xiao Xiao now? Sixteen?

  To put it bluntly, she's still a naive child! All the supernatural and unpredictable things that are unknown to her are terrifying.

  Some people say that when a person dies, they will miss the people they left behind in the world and return as a ghost to take their soul away.

  Xiao Xiao kept crying and didn't know that she was afraid, so she went out the door. There were people outside, so there's no need to be so scared.

  Her father has passed away! The one who loved her the most is dead! He's gone! How can she not be afraid?!

  Xiao Xiao, why don't you imagine that he has become an angel? Where there are angels should be heaven, where there should be happiness and bliss!

  What are angels? At that time, I hadn't even read fairy tales. Xiao Xiao said, I only remember those who jumped around at night, waving and waving, saying they were helping my dad attain Buddhahood.

  Then I thought of that coffin wood and those paper money flying all over the sky.

  Do you know what I hate most right now?

  She suddenly asked me.

  A coffin? I thought for a moment and said.

  No, it's the smell of paint on coffin wood.

  Why?

  Because it has a strong taste of death.

  I stopped talking, because I didn't know how to talk to her. Words of comfort seemed too late already. Sympathetic words I couldn't say out loud either. So I just quietly looked at her. As if I could see through time, and see something from those absurd and dark years of hers. But in the end, it was actually her.