Chapter Thirty-Nine Diary

  After eight hours of sleep, I, Zhao Jun and Fang Wenke had a simple meal and drove back to Changchun from the small town at 11 o'clock sharp.

  On the way back, Fang Wenke was still in charge of the first half and Zhao Jun was in charge of the second half, while I sat in the longest seat enjoying snacks and sleep.

  Zhao Jun sat in the front passenger seat, his hands trembling as he rummaged through his pockets for a long time before pulling out a somewhat deformed Ferrero Rocher, turned around and handed it to me, saying: "How's your mood now? Better, right?"

  I took the transforming Ferrero Rocher from Zhao Jun's hand and held it in my palm for a long time, saying: "Hmm! The mood is average! But I want to know, what did you do to this piece of chocolate? Why does it look like a lump of glittering golden poop at this moment?"

  "You don't like it? Eat or not!" Zhao Jun heard my disgust and reached out to grab it back.

  "Don't eat white don't eat!" I punched Zhao Jun's hand back with one fist, hastily peeled off the golden outer skin of Ferrero, and then put it in my mouth.

  "I'm saying can't you be more like a girl? You know, flirt and stuff! I find that all you know how to do is be tough. It makes me wonder what Hou Wen Ke saw in you!"

  "Hmph! Mind your own business!" I casually tossed the golden paper slip in my hand at Zhao Jun's head.

  Zhao Jun helplessly sighed and then turned his gaze to Fang Wenke, who was driving, saying: "Fang Wenke, what exactly do you see in her?"

  "I'm also wondering what I saw in her, felt right and just got together!"

  After Fang Wenke finished speaking, Zhao Jun didn't continue asking questions. He seemed to have not rested well the night before and fell asleep in less than three minutes.

  I shifted my gaze out of the window, and as the vehicle moved, the scenery outside was quickly left behind.

  I think those unpleasant memories of mine should also be discarded as I move forward.

  The two vibrations of the phone pulled me out of my brief contemplation. I slid open the screen, and what caught my eyes was Zhu Yang's text message: "Have you arrived home safely? Are you free today?"

  I stared at the text message from Zhu Yang, feeling a bit abrupt. Since he and Li Yue got together, he had never sent me such a warm message before. The only time was when he apologized to me on behalf of Li Yue, which made me feel self-conscious for half a day.

  But this time's breakthrough is: there were two question marks in the short message he sent me!

  Five minutes have passed, and I'm still thinking about how to reply to Zhu Yang's text message. I looked up at Fang Wenke who was driving, and my guilt instantly surged up in my heart. I kept telling myself in my mind: Don't betray Fang Wenke! I'd rather die than betray Fang Wenke! I absolutely cannot betray Fang Wenke!

  So in the next ten seconds, I quickly replied to Zhu Yang with a short message: I'm on my way back to Changchun now and won't be going home.

  From the time I knew Zhu Yang until now, this message should be the coldest one I replied to him. I still remember those days when we were together, every message I sent to Zhu Yang ended with two words: "mumu".

  But heaven must be fond of making things difficult for people. After I replied to that message, my phone automatically shut down due to low battery.

  Shutting down is good too, at least it won't mess with my mood.

  I opened my bag and put my phone in it, but then I saw that diary which I had brought from home. I almost forgot its existence.

  I pulled out my diary and turned to the first page. Six bold characters instantly appeared in my line of sight.

  Those were six big characters drawn repeatedly with a purple marker: Zhu Yang I like you.

  When I saw these six big characters, I reflexively "slammed" my diary shut. I raised my head and looked through the rearview mirror at Fang Wenke, who was driving, fortunately he didn't notice me, but was focused on driving.

  I didn't open the diary again, and put it back in my bag directly. It's not that I dare not to open it, but I don't want to open it. I'm afraid that when I open the diary again, those years of reckless abandon will come flooding back to me once more.

  I am deeply aware that I am living a very happy life now, and I am also grateful to have Fang Wenke's love for me. I cherish all the wealth and opportunities that Fang Wenke has brought to me. Although my feelings for Fang Wenke are not as deep as those for Zhu Yang, I like Fang Wenke, which is beyond doubt.

  The car sped forward on the highway, I looked at one blue sign after another, and watched as we passed through tunnel after tunnel. We went from pitch black to light, and then back into dark tunnels again, the scenery in front of us changing too quickly, leaving no space for nostalgia.

  And I should also put down some terrible experiences, some powerless entanglements and some fruitless nostalgia in time, forcing myself to forget all the cruel childhood related to my father and the emotional struggles related to Zhuyang, and continue on the road with fresh positive energy.