Chapter Twenty-Six: All Is Fate

  "Do you believe in fate?" Anan suddenly turned his head towards me and asked.

  "Hmm..." I suddenly looked up and thought carefully about the question he raised, hesitated for a moment, and replied: "Believe it. I think my life is not good enough."

  "I sometimes believe, sometimes don't believe, sometimes I think I can control my own destiny, but other times I feel powerless. I'm a child from the countryside, in the 80s our village was very poor, and everyone made a living by farming. In the summer, people had to work under the scorching sun to harvest wheat, my grandfather was over 70 and still had to bend his back to work in the fields, with only a straw rope tied around his waist, his back would be bent from one end of the field to the other, and he couldn't straighten up. His dark back would shine with oil, like a chicken being roasted on an open flame.

  In the autumn, we would dig up sweet potatoes in the fields, after digging them up, we would cut them into slices. When I was six years old, I helped the adults cut the sweet potatoes, once I accidentally cut my hand and a piece of flesh was cut off, blood gushed out, but the adults were all busy working, who could take care of me? So I just grabbed some soil and pressed it onto the wound and continued cutting. If it rained at night, no matter how cold or dark it was, we had to rush back to the fields to dry the sweet potatoes, if we didn't hurry, a year's worth of food would be washed away by the rain.

  At that time, I secretly made up my mind to study hard and get into university, so I could escape from the countryside and never have to live such a bitter life again. For this reason, I was willing to eat plain rice with salted vegetables, and reading under the lamp at night felt like it had a purpose.

  Later on, I finally got into university, my parents were overjoyed, but new worries came, the high tuition fees made my parents worry so much that they couldn't sleep at night. Later on, after borrowing money from relatives and friends, we finally managed to scrape together enough money. With the money my parents had saved up, plus the money I earned from part-time jobs during holidays, I fantasized about getting a good job after graduation and living a city life.

  Now I'm living a city life, but I don't feel like it's that great. My friends who grew up with me didn't even finish middle school, but they built two-story houses in our hometown and bought cars. And I, just finished paying off the debt from my university days, my parents are still hoping for me to buy a house and get married, but where can I find the money to buy a house? When can I afford to get married?

  Two years ago, my dad was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, he couldn't do heavy labor anymore, our family's land was also taken away by the town government. My nearly 90-year-old grandfather had been bedridden for many years and recently passed away, but because of his illness, we owed a lot of debt.

  Two years ago, my mom had to work at a nearby factory to make ends meet. Every time I went back home and saw my mom's bent back from working too hard, I wanted to cry, I scolded myself for not being capable enough, I regretted studying so hard to get into university. You say, is this the life of a human? I used to think that through studying, I could change my own destiny, but when I see those classmates who didn't study well living in spacious houses and driving luxury cars, I feel like my idea of trying to change my fate is so laughable, foolish, and arrogant."

  "But I think you're very capable, the boss values you so much, I'm envious." I said softly after a moment of silence.

  "Hmph, you're heavy?" An Nan sneered in a low voice, "Do you know how much I've paid out? His kid's schooling is all on me to pick up and drop off every day! His wife goes shopping and it's all on me to carry the bags! It's really not worth thinking about, during work hours I'm working for him, during rest hours I'm working for his wife and kids. What has he given me? Not even half as much as that cheap thing Liu Shanshan's chest."

  After listening to Anan's words, I was stunned. I didn't expect it to be like this, and indeed there is no love without reason in this world. The boss will never easily show you a smile. And looking at the dispirited Anan in front of me again, savoring his words carefully, thinking about what he just said, I couldn't help but feel sad, sigh, and lower my head to examine the lines on my palm carefully.

  Maybe grandma was right, a person's fate is written on their hands, no matter how hard you struggle, you can't escape the arrangement of fate.

  "My dreams are shattered bit by bit, I no longer dare to have any ideas that transcend reality. But in reality, what am I? Am I just the mud that is forever trampled underfoot?"

  Anan's faint sigh was drowned out by the piercing sound of trumpets.