Chapter 9 Both Parents Are Divorced

  "Dad seemed to want to say something, but only opened his mouth without saying a word. He just kept his pale lips open, two turbid tears rotating in the deep eye sockets, and then slowly slid down the face with many wrinkles."

  I stood indignantly, glaring at him like an enemy.

  "I'm sorry, Xiaomei, Daddy can't give you happiness..." Daddy's eyes were red and filled with tears, he didn't dare to look at me straight, his lips kept trembling.

  I bit my lip hard, I didn't want to let myself go soft like this, I didn't want to forgive him. I still stood there in confrontation, I wanted never to forgive him forever.

  But my eyes gradually blurred, and the uncooperative tears brought a coolness that slid down my cheeks, fell to the tip of my chin, and landed on the smooth and bright floor.

  There was a moment when I wanted to indulge in my inner weakness and rush into Dad's arms, I wanted to cry out loud with him, but it has been a long time since I've been so close to him. I have become like a small road that branches off from the main line, getting farther and farther away from him, more and more strange, so distant and strange that I can no longer recall the warm scent on his body.

  In the dim light, Father slowly stood up, he looked like an old man in his nineties, slowly turned around, hunched back and bowed head, taking two weak legs, step by step, struggling to move forward on the bright floor that reflected everything, walking towards the outside of the building. Outside was a sea of cars and people, a cacophony of sounds, in front of him an even taller building cast a huge shadow, like the devil's shadow, Father's small black figure slowly disappeared into the flow of cars, disappeared into the devil's shadow.

  I feel I should catch up, my heart tells me to catch up, but my feet seem to have taken root, standing firmly on the spot, with a sour and painful feeling in my heart, tears streaming down my face.

  Before I knew it, Yang Xiaofei had already walked up beside me.

  "Here," he stretched out an arm, handing over a white handkerchief. "Uh... don't cry, you're doing alright, my parents divorced when I was eight..."

  I slowly stopped crying, lifted up my tearful eyes and looked at him.

  The Yang Xiaofei in front of me, although I see her every day, is being carefully scrutinized for the first time.

  He had a short haircut, medium build, slender figure, eyes that were neither big nor small, nose bridge that was neither high nor low, mouth that was slightly flat, and facial features that couldn't be described as ugly but also not handsome, just ordinary. Wearing the security uniform made him look even thinner, and his dark skin tone added to the impression of a sickly yellow complexion on his cheeks, evoking a hint of sympathy from others.

  "Don't cry anymore, even if you cry yourself to death, your parents won't change anything for you." He said calmly, with a hint of sadness in his eyes.

  "But they got divorced. Why didn't you tell me something so big?" Sorrow struck again, and tears welled up once more.

  "What's it to you? Can you stop me?" Yang Xiaofei said, fiddling with his security hat.

  "But we're a family, aren't we? Am I not needed anymore? Why didn't they think about my feelings when they got divorced?" I yelled and wailed, wiping away tears from my face with tissues.

  "Alas," Yang Xiaofei sighed heavily, slowly and leisurely, like an old man who had experienced the vicissitudes of life, saying: "The things between parents, how can we make it clear? Don't cry, it's useless, there's no use at all, you can only hurt your own body. Now that you're not hurting yourself, really no one will hurt you. When my dad and mom got divorced, I cried more than you did. That morning, I had just eaten two steamed eggs, the white egg whites wrapped around the tender egg yolks, refreshing like the white clouds and sun in the sky, fragrant with two large spoons of sugar added. The steamed eggs that day were really delicious."

  Yang Xiaofei paused here, licked his dry and cracked lips, turned his eyes to one side, seemingly still savoring the memory. Then he continued: "From then on, I never had such a delicious steamed egg again... When I heard the news of my parents' divorce, I burst into tears immediately. With one hand grasping my mother's collar and the other holding onto my father's arm, I begged them not to leave, I begged them to stay together. But Mother turned around, her smooth dress made of some unknown material slipped out of my grasp, while Father's arm was too thick for me to hold onto. They walked in different directions, still scolding each other as they left... Only I was left standing alone in the empty house, mouth agape, wailing at the top of my lungs, but no one paid attention to me. My cries filled the entire room, I cried and cried, with not a single person comforting me. As I cried, suddenly I felt a wave of nausea, the steamed egg from that morning which hadn't been fully digested yet sprayed out of my mouth and nose like machine gun fire, so much that it hurt my chest."

  Yang Xiaofei spoke quietly, as if telling a story that had nothing to do with him. The sunlight shone in and fell on his calm eyes, which seemed thin and had a pinkish glow around the eyelids.

  After Yang Xiaofei finished speaking, we suddenly all stopped talking. I also stopped sobbing and stood quietly, each of us staring at the ground thinking about our own thoughts. The lobby was bustling with people coming and going, some of whom curiously stopped in their tracks to look at us. Later, they lost patience and quickly walked away.

  "So why did your parents get divorced?" I asked softly after a moment of silence.

  "I didn't understand at the time, but now I do. It's because there was no love between them anymore. My dad had an affair with a woman when he was working outside and even skipped coming home for Chinese New Year for her sake. And my mom...I once saw her sitting naked on the village chief's younger brother's body..."

  "Cough...cough..."

  Yang Xiaofei suddenly started coughing, and a strange red color appeared on his dark yellow face. He rummaged through his large pockets and pulled out a handful of small bottles of various colors. His body trembling, he used shaking hands to unscrew the cap of one of them, pouring out a yellowish-brown pill. The pill shook in his thin palm for a moment before he hastily swallowed it. He threw back his head, closing his eyes in pain, and his Adam's apple moved up and down clearly. Then he hunched over again, coughing weakly several times, until finally the coughing stopped. His throat emitted a series of heavy gasps, and his body slumped forward, as if he had exhausted all his energy.

  "Su Xiaomei! Su Xiaomei!" Suddenly, shouting voices sounded again beside her ear.

  I heard it, but my eyes were still on Yang Xiaofei. For a moment, I couldn't shift my gaze of shock and sadness away.

  "Su Xiaomei! Su Xiaomei!" The voice continued to shout, urgent and anxious, close to her ear, yet seemingly far away.