Chapter 4: Heart in Chaos
One day, two days, three days... a whole week passed by, and the river's head remained gloomy.
The grass is waiting with anticipation, anticipating in speculation, and speculating in gradual disappointment: Something happened? Got sick? Q was stolen?…… The grass makes various hypothetical guesses, but her heart, from waiting and yearning, gradually becomes thoughts and concerns.
Staring at the computer screen, Cao's heart followed this man named He: Why do I want to think about him? Why can't I stop thinking about him? He was just a net friend she had known for a short time, and maybe he would quietly flow through her life like that small river without causing any ripples. But soon, Cao realized her own self-deception: his sincere words, bright laughter, gentle personality, and enticing texts... all stirred up her heart like a stormy sea, making it impossible to calm down. She longed for the surging of a river, hoping that the face of this man named He would appear before her eyes... He was not just a passerby in Cao's life; he had solidified in her memory, and she couldn't stop thinking about him. Not seeing him made her feel empty and uncomfortable inside, and these tangled emotions gnawed at her heart like insects, making it ache with a dull pain that even she couldn't believe... Several days without meeting had led to the crazy growth of longing... Tears rolled down Cao's cheeks.
"It would be great if I had his phone number." Cao regretted not exchanging numbers with He. Then, a call later, at least she'd know where he was and what he was doing. Even if He's response was cold, it was better than the aimless guessing and anxious waiting that was plaguing Cao.
The grass suddenly felt that the Q garden lost its magnetic field and was no longer strongly attractive. She stared at the computer screen for a while, then dropped off, shut down. For several days, the computer was left untouched by her, as if unwilling to touch a past event.
Another weekend, Bularenbayar's "Hulunbuir Prairie" is gently swirling in the room of grass, suddenly, the heart of the grass seems to be moved by something, and she thought of the "Qingqingke River" deep in the Hulunbuir Prairie again.
Put down the book in hand, opened the computer, hung up QQ, who would have thought that the head of that river came all the way over...
The little guy with a bright smile and "blue sky six must-cure" teeth was shining in front of the grass, and then several messages stood out: I'm back! Ended my southern journey. Before leaving, I didn't tell you about my itinerary because I thought we were just online friends, so everything is casual. But during the half month I was away from you, I suddenly found that my mind was full of you: when I arrived at West Lake, I would recall the night we discussed poetry, "The most loved lake eastward journey is not enough, green willow shade white sandy beach." When I came to Broken Bridge, the song "_Broken Bridge Residual Snow" which you liked to listen to echoed in my mind again... A floating cloud, a refreshing breeze, a lingering rain would all make me think of you inexplicably, and my heart was surrounded by longing.
The last line was written in bold and vivid characters: "I miss you!"
The river was also thinking of the grass, he didn't forget the grass, ignore the grass, his heart was filled with the grass, the grass knew that he wouldn't rush through the grass's life, he would make a stop for the grass, he would surround the grass like a river, flowing quietly... The brief separation brought the two hearts closer, pure feelings lingered in the mind, a warm feeling spread out in the grass's heart... The grass's nose was sour, and its eyes were moist again...
She thought of the beautiful words that flowed from that river, filled with true emotions: those words were engraved with deep love for his wife and children, writing about the warmth and happiness created by love and responsibility for the three-member family. Grass didn't dare to desecrate this acquaintance, in a virtual world, separated by screens, she was attracted to his words, conquered by his literary talent, she admired him, adored him, a silent feeling flowed silently between them, however, grass followed the game rules, she approached him but refused romance, so she always treated him as an older brother, friend or confidant.
But this time, the river's sudden departure has disturbed Grass's heart: longing and nostalgia, bitterness and melancholy, joy and happiness, the soul's scorching and loss... Submerged, tossed about, unstoppable... The increasingly frantic thoughts seized Grass's heart, the more she tried to shake them off, the tighter they bound her. Grass was perplexed, bewildered, lost...
The grass thought of her black prince again - tall, handsome and dark-skinned husband. When the matchmaker brought the quiet grass to his home, the five people in his family looked at the grass with ten eyes. A year later, the clever and gentle grass wore crystal shoes and became the bride of the black prince, and later had a lovely daughter named Doudou. The grass felt happy in her peaceful life, but the black prince's carelessness and inability to cherish others made the grass somewhat sad and regretful.
Can't think about it anymore, Cao Er forced himself not to think about it: We met on the internet for a journey, we were fleeting acquaintances, our meeting was too late, we spoke freely, our unrestrained joy, we appeared almost perfect in front of each other, but we were just travel companions, just a stop in each other's life.
In real life, we can only be friends, in our own circles of life, doing our own things, walking our own paths, living our own days... but why is the heart still so painful?
With tearful eyes, the grass sent a smiling face to the river.
