When people have nothing to do, they tend to think wildly and randomly.

  After entering university, I found that some things I had been maintaining all along were gradually disappearing. Health was one of them. When I lived with my family before, it was the healthiest period of my life. Ah, at that time, it just happened to be the second rebellious period, and my poor father and mother suffered a lot from me. Every few days, I would get into a fight with them, and I remember several times when I shouted loudly at my parents, but fortunately, they were not the type of people who held grudges. After a while, we would make up as before. Even though it was a tumultuous life, I felt that I was much better off than now in terms of complexion and energy. Fighting and getting angry indeed hurt my body, but not my heart. Home is still the place where one can let their guard down the most, so I had several times lost control of my emotions and made a big scene. After moving out to live alone, I suddenly accumulated a lot of pressure. I am originally someone who easily accumulates pressure, and although I would vent, it was only limited to specific objects. For someone like me with a certain degree of mysophobia, finding an object that is perfect for me to vent to is like finding a grain of glutinous rice in a sack of white rice. After entering university, the number of people I came into contact with increased significantly compared to high school, but those who could communicate with me from the heart were indeed few and far between. Especially after being hurt by the Liang sisters, I closed my heart even more and kept a hundred eyes on every new person I met. As a result, there were fewer people around me, and I became more self-enclosed. The immense pressure and depressed emotions made my internal organs lose their normal functioning ability, and long-term sleep deprivation made me even weaker. My weight dropped by 5 kilograms, and my skin turned pale. Whitening and slimming down were things I had aspired to in high school, but I didn't expect to achieve them in such a twisted way. The price I paid was indeed heavy.

  I usually sit alone in the back corner of the classroom, quietly listening to the lesson and watching as a large group of people form several small cliques doing things that deviate from the topic in the sacred classroom. Several couples deliberately choose seats in the back to flirt with each other, thinking the teacher can't see them, but actually, haha, your behavior has already been seen clearly by the teacher. The person who designed the classroom wouldn't be foolish enough to create any blind spots for the lecturer, or else they wouldn't be able to continue working as a designer. Several groups of boys and girls occasionally "whisper" to each other, but actually, removing the word "whisper" would make no difference, because what they're doing is basically just talking privately, only I can hear them all. At times like this, I regret choosing the seat in the back, as the teacher's voice is mixed with the noise of the people in front. I'm not here to listen to a radio, I'm here to watch the live performance. Looking at it this way, even those who don't pay attention and sleep may be the most public-minded people.

  Kang Hui is my senior in the same department, one year older than me. I met her when I was a freshman in college. She is straightforward, intelligent and steady. One of the few friends I can talk to in college. Due to our school's free elective system, where we can graduate freely after completing the required credits, Kang Hui and I would take several same courses every semester. This made going to school more enjoyable.

  "Ah——I'm exhausted!! Three hours of class!! The teacher just kept going on and on, I saw everyone else doing other things!!"

  "It's really pitiful for the teacher too, with such a chaotic classroom, he must be very uncomfortable."

  "Ah, yeah! Oh, by the way, our club is going to perform a play, did you know that?"

  "Hmm. What are you and Kang Hui planning to perform?"

  After class, I often go to the tea house near the campus with Kang Hui. In addition to attending classes together, Kang Hui is also a member of the dance club. Originally, I wanted to persuade her to learn ballet with me, but unfortunately she said she didn't like classical dance like ballet, so she joined jazz dance instead.

  "Ah ~~ Not yet decided. But looking at the dance style, it should be a group choreographed dance?"

  "Haha, but it should be quite interesting if made into a dance drama."

  "Haha, we can't get something that advanced. Ah, sorry, it's a call from my boyfriend."

  "Okay, come on then."

  Kang Hua had a boyfriend when she was in her fourth year of university. I had met him several times, but didn't have a deep impression of him. Kang Hua's boyfriend seemed to be always busy, even when we ran into each other on campus, he would just quickly say hello or walk with us for a short distance before parting ways. Several plans to travel together were cancelled due to his reasons. Many times during our gatherings, she mentioned the disappointment, and I felt sorry for her, but she didn't seem to mind, saying "Haha, that's just something that can't be helped, many things are unstable now, it's inevitable." She laughed it off. At this moment, I truly admired her calmness and rationality, indeed a strong woman is resilient in all aspects.

  But I still feel somewhat indignant about it.

  "He's really lucky to have a girlfriend as tolerant as you." This was the only comforting thing I could think of to say.

  "Haha, but sometimes... how to say it, I still feel a bit lonely. Although being with good friends like you is also happy, occasionally, I also want to rely on someone. After all, there's a certain difference between friends and lovers."

  Clink—the ice cubes in the glass collided with each other.

  It's different, isn't it? - Maybe it is different after all. The relationship between friends seems not as solid and reliable as that of lovers.

  Happy times always pass especially quickly, of course not to say that dancing is unhappy, it's just that thinking about seeing those mother leopards makes my heart inexplicably tense. When I walked into the classroom, I heard their sharp voices and had an urge to turn around and go home, but how can a grown-up avoid this little thing? So I went in.

  "Help~~~Okay." A female leopard walked over.

  "Hello" and "nǐ hǎo" are basically the same thing.

  "Ah, good afternoon."

  "...... The teacher is so slow."

  "It's just that, waiting a bit longer might make it arrive."

  She returned to her own group. Generally, people from the ballet society don't take the initiative to talk to me. From appearance, style and the aura they emit, I'm obviously not one of them. I am a legitimate human adult, and you bunch of illegal immigrants from the African continent are not in the same class as me. The girl who came to talk to me earlier had a simple purpose: to show off her new tattoo. It seems that this girl bought a set of revealing dance clothes especially for today, just to let everyone see the tattoo on her shoulder.

  "Hmph, I'm indeed a person who knows how to speak according to the situation and timing, but that's only when I want to. Ah, playing these little tricks on this kind of person."

  "Hah..."

  I'm so pathetic.

  After one lesson, I once again feel that choosing ballet is a wise choice, and I've worked up another good sweat. At this rate, I should become quite healthy, shouldn't I? Indeed, I do feel that my body has become much lighter than before. Without worrying about the sweat dripping down both sides of my face, after everyone left, I stayed behind in the empty classroom, putting on music and repeating the movements our teacher had taught us. As expected, once the people were gone, the classroom seemed to have doubled in size, with reflections of myself staring back at me from all four mirrors. At times like these, it's not bad to appreciate one's own beauty a little; after all, people should occasionally learn to appreciate themselves.

  "Ah......" Originally jumping with excitement, was startled by the sudden opening of the door and jumped up.

  Ah, how embarrassing. But I decided to stick with the poker face and calmly stop dancing, gather my things.

  "Oh, sorry." This toneless voice was—

  "Ah, Gongyang Xuezhang." Luckily it was him. But then again, it wasn't that great either, letting him see me in such a state of infatuation.

  "Still in touch, really hard."

  "Ah, no... I like dancing myself."

  "Is it? That's good."

  “……”

  "I'm here for the painting paper."

  "Oh, I see."

  Gang Yang's workroom is in the room next to my current dance studio, and sometimes when we are dancing, he will occasionally stay in the adjacent room to make costumes.

  "Are you planning to take it home and continue drawing? Gou Yang is indeed a diligent person."

  "Ah, I don't dislike drawing itself. Like you, I do it because I want to."

  "It feels just like your answer."

  "Really?"

  "Yes."

  "Well, I'll take my leave first." Suddenly feeling a bit awkward, I picked up the clothes on the floor and decided to change later, it's better to leave now.

  "Oh, then you'd better be off."

  "Uh-huh, you too! Goodbye!"

  Ah, geez, why am I so clumsy. I always feel like I'm not welcome, that nobody wants to spend time with someone like me. Maybe I'm just overthinking it, but every time I get this feeling, and so I always want to hurry up and leave, which probably causes even more discomfort for others. Even though I do this, deep down inside I still hope that Koyougi doesn't dislike me.