Chapter Sixteen: So Close Yet So Far (Three)
"He sighed and said: 'Sorry, Qing Yi. Actually, I shouldn't kiss you, it's not right.'"
I stared at him silently, my eyes filled with confusion.
"Please, listen to me slowly. His eyes floated with a few strands of sorrow. I'm a person who's afraid of failure. When I told you that I wanted to be with you and you rejected me, it made me very sad for a long time, and I couldn't let go. Maybe I don't understand love, and I didn't know how to deal with it. All I knew was that from then on, I couldn't be with you anymore, nor could I attend the same university as you.
I vividly remember that after school, there were still a few classmates who hadn't left, and I also wanted to stay in school like them, do some homework, finish those math problems before going home. When I was packing up and heading downstairs, I saw him standing alone, as if waiting for someone. At that time, we had been strangers for a long time and hadn't spoken to each other. He asked me: "Qing Yi, which school are you planning to apply to?" I answered him, but after he said goodbye, he hastily left and disappeared into the dusk.
At this time, he interrupted my memories and continued to say "I asked you, in fact I didn't want to study with you at the same school, but wanted to avoid you. As I said earlier, it's not that I don't want to, but I'm afraid of getting hurt, so I had to retreat."
I understand he is someone who values emotions, which is why it has come to this.
"I originally planned to apply to a school in the south, but later my mom said that many of her colleagues' and friends' children were planning to study abroad. She asked for my opinion and if I wanted to go. If it was before, I wouldn't have gone because I hadn't thought about it, but at that time, I quickly agreed. So recently, my mom has been helping me with this matter, and if nothing unexpected happens, I will be leaving soon."
He said painfully: "So, Yee, have we been missing each other all along? If I knew you also liked me, I wouldn't have left this place half a step."
He held his head and left with tears.
"My heart hurts so much." "It's actually all my fault," he said. "Don't cry, you're still sick!" The scene made me choke back tears too.
He said softly: "I'll be gone for a few years, and I don't know what the future holds. I also can't ask you to wait for me. I myself am uncertain about my journey of studying abroad."
"Take care then!" he said sorrowfully.
"When are you leaving? Don't forget to let me know when it's time, I'll see you off." I said with the same sadness.
"Oh, don't come see me off, I can't bear the scene of parting, it will make me even more heartbroken."
"They all say I look like Lin Daiyu, but I think you look more like her, you're so sentimental too! I must give it to you, let's get hurt again!" I said faintly.
It's as if life and death are right in front of us, making people's eyes well up with tears. Oh, Western movie, will you remember today's sorrowful day? I will remember it, forever unable to forget.
The only sound left in the room was the song "Shoulditmatter" still echoing, with no other noise. And this song filled the entire room with sorrow on this quiet afternoon, as if it was a continuation of the sadness. The lyrics describe the female protagonist wanting to regain lost love, speaking deeply about her past boyfriend and wanting to win back his heart. The song's expression is already sad enough, but it's surprisingly similar to my mood. Only, I didn't want to regain anything, because that was an irretrievable reality.
We've always been missing each other, back then time was too tight, I couldn't respond to him. When he knew that I also liked him, how could everything he did for me not move a girl's heart? Moreover, he is excellent, he is likable. Now it's no longer the critical moment of senior three, but he has already prepared to turn around and leave, going to a very far place where I can't see him. Even though we are so close now, yet still so far apart.
