Overindulgence is equivalent to harming

  This girl's name is Chen Ran, a first-year student at a key high school. From elementary school to junior high school, she was always considered an excellent student and held various class positions. However, after the first exam in high school, her grades plummeted, and she couldn't withstand this blow. She returned home, crying and throwing a tantrum, refusing to eat or sleep. Her father consoled her, and her mother coaxed her, but she wouldn't calm down. In the end, her mother comforted her by lying that the teacher had graded the papers incorrectly... From then on, whenever she took an exam, she became extremely nervous, so much so that as soon as she entered the examination room, her legs would shake, and her hands would sweat, leaving her mind a complete blank.

  When I called her, she had just finished the exam. She was still staring blankly at the paper, feeling hopeless and disappointed as she walked out of the examination room. Her teacher asked her in a fit of anger:

  "I really doubt how you were considered a good student in the first place, how did you fall behind to this extent all of a sudden? Are you for real or just pretending?"

  She couldn't take it anymore, ran out of school and called me, saying she's done, there's no more hope, what's the point of living...

  "I'm not familiar with the school situation, can you tell me whether there are more key middle schools or ordinary middle schools?"

  "Of course, ordinary middle schools have more."

  "That is to say, even in key middle schools, there are students with high, medium and low learning achievements, right?"

  "Of course, I'm the worst of them..." His voice suddenly dropped.

  "Oh no, this is terrible!......"

  "What's wrong?" Chen Rang asked inexplicably.

  "If all those students who don't study well are going to die, then how many students will have to die?"

  "How is that possible?"

  "How can it be impossible? Are you going to die?"

  "I am different from them."

  "What's different? Because you are more noble than them, can only succeed and cannot fail?"

  "Teacher Shi, I didn't mean it that way."

  "Okay, so what do you mean?"

  "You have no idea how well I used to study..."

  "Has your teacher ever criticized you before?"

  "None, from kindergarten to junior high school, I was always a good student. Teachers never criticized me, all I heard were praises!"

  "Are your parents spoiling you?"

  "Yes, my parents have always been proud of me. If I'm unhappy, they're restless until I'm happy again."

  "Do you think this is good?"

  "I'm quite happy, many of my classmates envy me."

  "Do you know where your problem lies?"

  "Me? I don't know..."

  "It's because you were too excellent, heard too many praises, and received too much pampering, that made you fragile and unable to withstand a little setback or blow. This should be the result of your parents overindulging you. If one day you come back crying after not doing well on an exam, and your dad and mom don't pay attention to you or aren't so shocked, you'll definitely calm down quickly. Think carefully if this makes sense. Don't rush to answer me, think about it first."

  After a full minute, she spoke:

  "What you said makes sense..."

  "Let me give you an example. When a little kid accidentally falls down, if his parents are around, he will cry non-stop and wait for the adults to pick him up. But if there is no one else around, or if the people around don't care about him, he might just cry out once or not at all and get up by himself. Why? Because his crying isn't being acknowledged, because he has no one to rely on, so he must get up by himself. That's why those orphaned children who didn't receive parental love are much stronger than the kids who grew up under their parents' pampering; on the other hand, those lucky ones who received excessive care are fragile and can't withstand a single blow, like you."

  "Teacher Si, are you taking me for a child who has no prospects and doesn't understand things?"

  "Yes! At least for now, but I believe you will get stronger, otherwise I wouldn't have wasted my precious time on you. No doctor would bother to save a dying patient, it's not worth it."

  "Thank you, Teacher Si..."

  "Don't thank me so early, listen to me finish speaking, there's another point which is your failure as a person."

  "Teacher Shi, I'm not a bad kid, really..."

  "You're getting impatient again? Listen carefully to what I have to say next. You need to focus on listening to me right now, do you understand?"

  "I understand."

  "If all your classmates had grades like yours, would you still feel so much pressure?"

  "I won't."

  "In other words, you always have a desire - to be stronger than others. If this desire cannot be achieved, you will not accept it and then suffer from imbalance, right?"

  That's right.

  "Can a person who is not good themselves and does not wish others well be considered a person of good character?"

  "I..."

  "Why are you so bitter? Is it because you're not studying as well as your classmates, and at the same time, you don't want your classmates to study better than you? Can this be considered a success in life?"

  "It doesn't count."

  "Yes! Only those who dare to face their own mistakes and shortcomings have the possibility of moving away from them."

  "Teacher Si, what should I do?"

  "What you should do now is to overcome your narrow-minded thoughts and broaden your horizons. No one will slow down their pace because of your suffering, waiting for you to catch up before moving forward again. You must learn to applaud others, only then can you possibly catch up, otherwise you will be left behind for life."

  The child lives in suffering, and the road under his feet will become increasingly narrow until he reaches a dead end.

  "It's too scary."

  "Yes, it's precisely because your heart is filled with fear that you don't even have the courage to live. You must understand that the root of this fear does not lie in academic achievement, but rather in your own mindset."

  "What is ideology?"

  "Right! Anyone who has ideals and pursuits hopes to be the best, but it's impossible for everyone to be excellent. Ordinary and unknown people still make up the majority. How is 'excellence' born? It is set off by the ordinariness of most people. We must strive to become the best while also having the courage to face failure and ordinariness. Being the best in primary school doesn't mean you'll be the best in high school. As age grows, life's road becomes increasingly difficult."

  The more you walk, the more complicated it gets. Why do people need to keep learning and becoming stronger in order to mature? The most fundamental and realistic purpose is to adapt to the increasingly difficult and complex life. From junior high school to senior high school, there should be a big turning point. Many students have problems because they cannot adapt to this turning point and lack psychological preparation."

  "Yes, some classmates also have this feeling. Originally, the past was pretty good, but once in high school, it didn't feel right. What you said is so true, that's really how it is..."

  "Especially for students in key high schools, it's easier to have problems because key high schools are where good students gather. Every student here is ambitious, so the competition is more intense. This competition isn't just about grades, but also about willpower and character. In such an environment, you need to maintain a good mindset, a kind of openness that allows you to applaud your fellow students' success, in order to have a positive attitude, focus on learning, and fully tap into your potential, which is the only way to achieve good results. Think about where your pressure comes from - isn't it from comparisons? If you were placed in an environment without competition, would you still feel pressure?"

  "I won't."

  "You always focus on others' academic performance and can't view the highs and lows of grades objectively, which puts more and more pressure on you. The greater the pressure, the more tense you become, the more tense you are, the greater the pressure becomes, and the less able you are to fully engage in learning, resulting in poor grades. Over time, this forms a vicious cycle, leading to the current outcome."