In recent days - BY watermark
A small warmth, delicate depiction, just the right amount of ambiguity, and a hint of pride, both for Fang Cheng's abilities and Qin Mo's painting skills. It's written very well, one of the rare chapters that I've read three times recently.
I think you handled Qin Mian's change of heart a bit hastily recently. After all, Qin Mian was originally male, and even if he decided to accept Fang Ceng's love as a female, he himself liked him, but that feeling should be both curious and a little uncomfortable, occasionally struggling psychologically, but also experiencing a completely different kind of sweetness. Some complex feelings are not easy to write too straightforwardly, but it's not like the fluttering of a young girl either.
Fang Cheng's grasp has always been in place. The revelation of Qin Mou's family background and identity is a bit melodramatic, but also has some depth. The two cancel each other out, making the overall effect mediocre. I think Qin Peilin is simply weak-willed and irresponsible. Han Yao's emotions, which are both loving and hateful, as well as her sense of loss, are also easy to sympathize with. To handle this part of the story well, one cannot be too obvious, but rather should focus on more subtle descriptions. For example, Qin Mou learns about her biological father and goes to visit him. In the process of visiting, she experiences his physical pain and mental torment.
Han Yao is in the UK, although her material life is good, but she has always had an unpassable gap in her heart. This can be slowly revealed through Han Zhiyuan and Qin Meng, as well as Qin Meng's own experiences. The plot cannot be rushed, such a warm article needs to be slowly unfolded, and then slowly let everyone understand these two people more, finally pushing them to meet or never meet such an ending. No matter what, the end is always melancholic. They lost their most beautiful time, and also lost the opportunity to accompany each other. Lost love, lost trust. All of this has various reasons, but actually it's still one's own reason that is the main cause. This couple can make people feel sad in their hearts, so let's take good care of them.
Qin Mian's personality also has its shortcomings. For example, being too proud. Her dissatisfaction with Zhang Xinling mainly comes from the latter's disrespect. However, for a girl who is so disrespectful, young and ignorant, it would be better to find an opportunity to directly explain instead of always evading or hinting. This indirect method reflects Qin Mian's pride in some way, which isn't the best approach. Another example is the conflict between Eastern and Western cultures. Celebrating Christmas might be lonely for Qin Mian, but writing about it on paper feels exaggerated. I think this is related to Mo Mo's dissatisfaction with people blindly worshipping the West. However, the actual situation differs from the scene described in the text, so the effect that comes out seems more like Qin Mian's problem. Therefore, when putting oneself in the character's shoes, it might be better to experience the scene in the text firsthand.
There's also the issue of abrupt transitions. Recently, the story has been jumping forward too quickly. From the second half of high school to suddenly skipping two years of high school memories, and after entering university, it's still progressing at a rapid pace. The story has changed from a gentle stream to a scene-by-scene drama, with each act not very well connected. I'm not sure if Momo wants to write about the protagonist's life many years later, so maybe she wants to speed up the pace. However, considering the writing style and the story's rhythm, it would be better to slow down here.
For example, in the last two chapters, in my impression, going out to eat midnight snacks with Fang Ceng and buying food for him at his company is much more real and touching than seeking love in the square or pursuing the mystery of life. It's warm and cozy. Also, the handling of Jiang Yuanhan's character is not well-prepared, and his previous image as a lovable big boy who is a bit careless and playful is suddenly replaced by a lecherous and arrogant person, leaving a very bad impression. Qian Xiao gives people the feeling that she is just a connecting character, linking different characters and plotlines when needed, without leaving a deep impression of her own thoughts and personality. It's as if she was designed to fit the author's needs. The impressions of these characters are not as deep as those from high school era.
Furthermore, the plot involving Qin Mian's family members is too scarce, making Qin Mian himself seem somewhat indifferent. For example, the work and situation of Qin's siblings and parents, as well as the small household's circumstances. Many other plotlines also lack follow-up, such as the Qin family's small shop, Qin Mian's own writing and development story, playing the piano, and the Zhao family. Many threads jump abruptly, making it feel disjointed and fragmented. I think if Mo Mo pays attention to this in later episodes, it might be better.
After a lot of nagging and encouragement, it all boils down to hoping that Momo will write even better and more wonderfully, go for it!
Waiting for you to discover!
