Song Mu-zhi and Song Qiao

  I didn't understand what he meant, and I turned around to look at him, but I didn't dare ask him what he meant. I was afraid that he would scold me again, saying that my brain was filled with shit or piss. He raised an eyebrow and sarcastically asked me, "Isn't it funny that high school lovers meet again, one is the deputy secretary of the municipal youth league committee, and the other is a mistress?"

  Looking at his mocking face, I really wanted to slap him a few times, but I couldn't. I could only be slapped by him instead. If he wanted to mock me, then he was indeed successful. It felt like a knife had pried open the scars that I had deliberately hidden, and before long, the scars split open, with fresh blood gushing out from inside.

  He clearly despised those words, not enough to hurt me. He slightly lowered his head and gazed at me lightly. He asked me, "You're a top student in high school, and you were also admitted to the Economics University. How did someone like you end up becoming a hostess?"

  I once had a life of luxury, experiencing the princess-like treatment, and the one who gave me that extravagant life was my younger aunt. She was the first person in our village to go to college, and when grandma fell ill, she came back for the first time after leaving the village.

  Before my grandmother passed away, she entrusted me to her, and since she was almost 40 years old without children, and seeing that I looked a bit like her, she took me in as her daughter and helped me get into the city to study. So I met Song Mu-zhi, who is two years older than me, but at that time he was called Song Qiao.

  In our high school days, there was always a kind of person who stood out from the rest. Those people were the girls' favorite characters, and he belonged to that type. We were like many high school couples, secretly holding hands, hugging, and kissing. To be honest, even I myself couldn't understand if those things counted as love? Now, with an adult's perspective, it feels like we were just two kids playing house.

  Later, he told me that his father was transferred to work in Beijing and he had to go back too. The night before he left, I got drunk and everything was blurry. I don't know what happened, but the next day when I woke up, I was lying naked in bed, my whole body aching. He didn't leave a single word and just left.

  At that time I was very innocent and didn't know there were contraceptive pills. Even if I had known, I wouldn't have dared to go buy them!

  After finishing the college entrance exam, my younger sister died in a car accident. When the university admission letter arrived, I was found to be three months pregnant and was forced by my father to have an abortion before being locked up at home. My stepmother scolded me in front of my father for being shameless, sleeping with men before turning 18, and bringing shame to our family. She told my dad that no matter how many books I read, I'm still a waste of money, and it's better to save the money for my brother's university tuition instead! So my dad refused to send me to college and made me stay home to help with chores.

  When I was 20 years old, my stepmother started arranging for me to get married, so I secretly stole 800 yuan from home and went to join a friend from junior high school, who knows how I ended up in a pyramid scheme.

  I cried, since my dad refused to send me money, I almost never cried, even when I was so hungry that I had to find something to eat in the trash can. But I cried for the second time in front of Ba Wang, and my tears were completely uncontrollable.

  He pushed me onto the Simmons, he pressed against me, quietly watching me cry. He asked if I hated Song Mu-zhi or not? I said I did. Countless times I hypothesized that if I hadn't gotten pregnant, would I have been able to attend university? Would I also be a bright and beautiful university student?