Chapter 136

  He didn't know how long he had been in this locker room - to him, it was probably a century-long time, long enough for him to sort out what he should do next, think through the consequences of his actions, and face the public opinion... All these were things he used to be unwilling to think about, but when he made up his mind, he suddenly felt that the huge stone hanging in his heart for many years had finally fallen.

  In comparison, those ten or so years of being a shining star idol in the past seem like they were stolen.

  He is about to return them now.

  No matter what the consequences are.

  Although Jiang Luocheng is a complete idiot, the words in the text message he sent that day were sincere. Yuan Jinran seems to have always subconsciously assumed that everyone should be good to him and cater to him, throwing everything aside to pursue his career and getting further and further away... He never even tried to turn around and look at what kind of people or scenery he had left behind.

  Until Jiang Chuan appeared.

  He suddenly thought he should stop and turn around to take a good look at what he had missed.

  If he could make up for it, he suddenly wanted to pick up all the things he had missed.

  Taking a deep breath, he suddenly found that his chest was uncontrollably sore and breathing was still very difficult... At this time, the phone rang, and Jian Yan sat up from the sofa, rubbed his sore eyes, and answered the phone with a slight squint. The result was unexpected - it was actually a call from home, probably to ask about some community insurance, and his grandmother couldn't remember where she put the previous documents, so she specifically called him to ask.

  While directing his grandmother to find the file, he asked: "This kind of thing can be handled when I get back, why did you have to run yourself? It's so hot outside—"

  "I'm at home with nothing to do, so I'll just run around and jump up and down a bit, I'm not crippled and can still move."

  "Oh," Jianran said, "aren't you supposed to be dancing in the plaza every day? Isn't this exercise enough?"

  It was just a casual question, but what he didn't expect was that the other end of the phone suddenly fell silent. Next, he heard his elderly grandmother say in a not-so-good acting voice: "Recently, there's been a crackdown on square dancing, so I won't be going for now."

  Square dance has a very strict rule.

  He was about to frown and ask what was wrong, but the words reached his lips and he suddenly closed his mouth as if he had understood something - every family reads newspapers, every family has a TV set, and every family has one or two young people who are on Weibo and WeChat. The gossip and information they come into contact with online will eventually be passed on to the elderly at home during dinner, such as: "Hey, do you know that X in the neighboring X family, the one who is a celebrity, do you know what he's been up to recently..."

  Such information eventually flowed into the crowd of ordinary people and spread from there.

  Finally, it reached his family members who were far away from the internet and various non-mainstream media worlds.

  His emotions, which had finally calmed down, were once again successfully activated by the trigger. Even a fool would understand that his family members had been troubled because of him. For a moment, feelings of grievance, heartache, and anger surged to the top of his head, and the scorching sensation in the corners of his eyes made him close them to prevent the terrible emotions from pouring out. After a long silence, he chose not to ask about what had happened to his family or to clear himself up. Instead, he responded to his grandmother's deliberate attempts to change the subject with some casual remarks and reminders, saying only: "The weather is a bit hot, and work is indeed a bit tiring. Grandma, do you think it would be good for me to take a break after I finish this busy period?"

  "Alright, it's also good to come back and accompany me in my old age." Jian Ran heard his grandmother say without suspecting him, muttering to herself, "In the past, I didn't say much because you seemed to like it, but at home, no one cares if you're a big star or an ordinary person. Money is just enough for food, and every day you're flying around outside. Grandma is old, and who knows when she won't be around anymore? Even wanting to see more of you isn't possible."

  She smiled softly on the other end of the phone and replied in a soft voice "Okay, rest then", before hanging up.

  After putting down the phone, he touched his face and only then did he realize that his face was wet and messy. Although he didn't know what exactly was worth crying about like a little devil or a little girl - but had to admit, it felt pretty good. The saying "a real man doesn't easily shed tears" is really just nonsense.

  Crying is the most fundamental instinct for humans to release emotions.

  Either cry or jump from upstairs, one choice should be made anyway.

  ……

  He carefully put down the phone and was about to find a corner to cry out loud, but unexpectedly, his mobile phone rang again. He picked it up without looking and said "hello" in a hoarse voice. The agent on the other end of the line couldn't wait to scold him: "You're not going to the bathroom, are you? You've been gone for almost an hour! Can't even find you in the bathroom! Are you hiding in a corner with constipation?! I told you to eat more fruit, but you never listen!"

  Listening attentively to the scolding voice of the agent on the other end of the phone, he thought of something and suddenly felt a tightness in his chest - it was at this moment that he suddenly realized that facing external voices might not be as difficult as he had imagined, but what was truly difficult was...

  When he finally made up his mind and decided to give up, how should he face these people around him.

  Sweat beaded on the palm of his hand holding the phone, he gripped it tightly to prevent it from slipping out of his hands, took a deep breath and calmly said: "Boss Fang, I saw what was being said online."

  The voice on the other end of the phone suddenly stopped.

  Within a few seconds, he could only hear Fang Yu's breathing on the other end of the phone. Then, he faintly heard Fang Yu greet someone around him, saying "He went to the bathroom without toilet paper, I'll go save him." After that, amidst a burst of laughter, it seemed like he was leaving the crowd. Anyway, as the surrounding noise grew smaller and eventually became completely quiet, Fang Yu probably came to some kind of single room alone. When he spoke again, his voice sounded extremely tense: "Didn't I tell you not to go online these past few days to look at those things that affect your mood? Rumors will pass in a few days, and when the time comes, it'll still be like this... Ah, I'm going crazy! When can you listen to me just once? Hmm? Even if it's just once?"

  "...He couldn't help but let out a wry smile on the other end of the phone, "Are you sick or something? You're being scolded so badly by those netizens for no reason, and yet you don't want someone to come out and take the bullet for you?"

  "You're the one who's sick! Of course I hope so!" Fang Yu almost shouted, "But that person definitely can't be you!!!!!!!!"

  "Why can't it be?" Jian Yan retorted.

  The other side suddenly fell silent.

  A moment of silence, Jian Yan suddenly felt that at that instant, Fang Yu was on the verge of being ignited, but fortunately he managed to extinguish himself. He asked where Jian Yan was, and after hearing the response, he hung up the phone directly - about five minutes later, Jian Yan heard the door to the changing room being knocked on, still with an inexplicable three longs and two shorts, without having agreed on any secret knock with the person outside, he walked over to open the door with a helpless expression. The moment the door was opened, Fang Yu slipped in like a loach, looked at Jian Yan, then revealed a thunderstruck expression: "Damn, you've cried!"

  He slowly raised his hand and wiped away a tear from the corner of his eye, "Not possible?"

  "What's wrong with you, crying over such a small grievance?"

  "My grandmother has stopped dancing in the square because of me." Jianran replied matter-of-factly, "You tell me how much trouble this has caused me."

  Fang Yu's face fell for a moment before he revealed an "I'll give you that" expression. He walked into the fitting room, locking the door behind him as he said...

  "If you think it's your fault that the people around you are affected, and therefore want to come out of the closet, I just want to tell you that there is no need. First, we are not some big stars who will be heartbroken by a few curses, but it won't have any impact on us; secondly, negative news has happened before, and you know this yourself, every time this happens, we will also be scolded, so actually, after being scolded for a while, we get used to it..."

  He carefully took out his mobile phone and glanced at it: "Jiang Chuan should be preparing to board the plane."

  "What's he here for?"

  "Look at me."

  "Are you coming out?"

  She gave him a stern look, and Fang Yu pursed his lips: "I don't know if you're blinded by love, but if you just want to come out for Jiang Chuan, I advise you not to. The world is so big, there are yellow people, white people, black people, and all sorts of mixed blood combinations. Can't you consider more options? You're so fixated on Jiang Chuan, it's too narrow-minded. You're both still young, what if you meet someone else you like better in the future? The passionate love you have now will suddenly become a regrettable past."

  He quietly listened to Fang Yu's long speech without interruption, waiting for the other party to catch their breath before speaking. "It's not entirely because of Jiang Chuan, but I suddenly feel that this kind of life is very tiring - my family, friends, superiors, and colleagues in the industry, perhaps you think it's nothing serious when I'm scolded because you're really good to me, but in my opinion, it's not like that. I don't want to use these things to consume your feelings towards me, you are surrounding me not just to be scolded... Just thinking about this makes me feel a lot of pressure..."

  Fang Yu's lips twitched ridiculously, as if he had heard some absurd fantasy.

  In fact, he wanted to scold him and say: What does it have to do with you when we are scolded? Why do you take everything on yourself?

  At this time, he just saw the black-haired young man let out a long sigh, covering his face with both hands and leaning back on the sofa: "I just feel like I've had enough of such days."

  "So you've decided to give up on all your previous efforts?"

  "Now that I think about it, I seem to have taken my career too seriously. It's just a tool for making money to eat and live well, but I've gotten things backwards..." Jian Yan flipped over on the couch, "I've made more than enough money to live a good life, but because of this career thing, I've ended up messing up my own life..."

  He involuntarily took a deep breath, feeling that the young man's words were ridiculously unreasonable. He wanted to say something to mock him, but the more he thought about it, the more he felt that the other person was right and he had no way to refute it. In the end, he could only weakly squeeze out a sentence, "I think you're really crazy."

  “……”

  "Jiang Chuan must have given you some soul-confusing soup."

  "Why don't you go to his Weibo and take a look at the comments, there are all sorts of comments like 'third party', 'mistress', 'shameless' and so on. After reading them, you will feel the profoundness of Chinese literature."

  "Scolded and didn't know how to shut up comments! Long ago I told him to shut it down, why not shut it down! I think he's just enjoying being..."

  Fang Yu's words trailed off halfway through, and he suddenly stared at the young man with black hair lying on the sofa, as if he had suddenly thought of something. He felt a chill run down his spine, despite the sweltering heat, and his feet felt icy cold. Fang Yu wiped the cold sweat from his forehead, wanting to tactfully remind him again and make a subtle hint about the unpleasant association that had just occurred to him. However, when he looked up, he unexpectedly met a pair of black eyes, which shone exceptionally brightly even in the dimly lit room.

  Fang Yu: "...... reverently ...... "

  "I know what you want to say, I'm not an idiot." Jin Yan interrupted him, slightly shifting his gaze to stare at a certain corner of the wall with a speckled pattern. He paused for a moment before speaking in a light tone, "But in our relationship, Jiang Chuan and I have always maintained absolute equality, so he has the right to make some decisions to ensure his own well-being - think about it, when Xu Qianqian and Xu Wenjie's incident happened, did he discuss it with anyone? ... It's obvious that if it were up to him, he could have taken action a long time ago. The fact that he endured until today is why?"

  "Don't tell me it's because of true love," Fang Yu's lips twitched, "I can't accept this terrible answer."

  He glanced at him calmly: "So in the end it became my fault instead."

  "...on the other hand, was left with a bewildered expression that screamed 'I don't get this logic', and fell into an eerie silence. Later, he let out a deep sigh, his voice laced with resignation, "Why did you suddenly become so brave? Compared to this, I'd rather have you as a crybaby who hides behind us and sobs."

  "Because you've taken on enough for me already, to the point where I think it's time to stop. Jin Yan took a deep breath and said, 'Apologize to Director Kawahara and Luo Cheng on my behalf, I'll take responsibility for all the breach of contract fees, and then prepare for the press conference. Since those people want to see a show so badly, I might as well come out of the closet.'"