Chapter Forty-two: Caramelized Chestnuts

  Wailing, blood, flames... Reality tumbled in the dream, peeled off layer by layer until it fell into darkness. A filthy hand grabbed my ankle, oily and crawling up my calf, using all my strength to kick, but couldn't shake it off. A wave of alcohol fumes assaulted my brain, I used all four limbs and teeth to roll away. Get away! Get away!!! I want you dead!!!!!

  She regained consciousness, the unfamiliar hotel bed sheets wrapped around her, Hua Jin still closed her eyes, turned over, curled up into a ball, letting sweat and tears flow freely on her face.

  When the bell of the church on one side rang, she had finished her bath, changed her clothes, and combed her hair neatly, sitting properly on the sofa reading the newspaper and drinking tea.

  The morning bell was solemn and pleasant to hear, Huaijin raised her head, gazing through the skylight at this hybrid city, now that things were done, should she go back?

  As she thought of the word "return", Hua Jin's mouth twitched slightly. The word "return" should be followed by "home", but where was home? Her childhood home had been burned down by a fire, and she couldn't return to her adoptive father's home. The small Western-style building in Xuanwu City was the home of Hua Shen's strategist, but was it really Hua Jin's home? Liu Ma had returned to her hometown for Chinese New Year, what else could make her want to stay in this two-story building?

  Another year has passed, where did it go and where is it going?

  However, this year was slightly different from the past. Huaijin walked into the inner bedroom, took out a leather wallet, and inside, there was a piece of paper with an address and phone number of a concession in Shanghai. She knew that behind these two lines of words was a warm family. In her mind, she recalled the gaze of Dong Zhiyu on that day, which had a temperature that made her feel happy and just right, and when it was slightly hot, it flashed away inexplicably. Huaijin leaned against the window, and a smile spread from the corner of her mouth.

  "If you've finished your year-end tasks and haven't decided where to spend the New Year, if you don't mind, you can come find me."

  She carefully polished the sentence, before "come find me" there are three parallel conditions. Generally, when people invite others to their home, they are more enthusiastic with their words than in their heart, saying things like "you must come". Some even say "we won't start dinner without you", this invitation is quite interesting. The three parallel conditions were all within her control, but now it seems that everything has been met, until the main clause at the end.

  And where is she now? Two days ago, she said she would go to Shanghai in two days. Has she arrived? She should have, tonight is New Year's Eve.

  Picked up the phone, thought for a moment and hung up again, put on going-out clothes, and walked out.

  The sky was still gray and misty, as if it had been snowing, the bright red New Year's decorations on the streets were particularly eye-catching in this grayness. The tram rattled by, across the street, several Japanese soldiers were tearing down a giant billboard of a Western model, next to it was placed a replacement - a poster of a Japanese woman. Japan has become tough towards European powers, and the concessions are not too peaceful either, with small frictions constantly occurring.

  The people of the country have already known about the existence of "Que", with their own understanding, this matter will be thoroughly investigated, and they themselves will be suspected? Since last night, she has been asking herself this question countless times.

  There was a public telephone booth on the corner of the street, but she walked several blocks and went to a small alley around Jing'an Temple, where there was a book kiosk that could make phone calls.

  That piece of paper has been held in hand all along, and now it's dialing the phone number one circle at a time.

  Finally arrived home, but no one answered the phone.

  The phone rang for the fourth time, and a middle-aged woman on the other end asked in a Wu dialect, "Hello, is this Qin San Ning?" The background noise sounded chaotic, as if there were many people at home.

  "Huaiyin paused for a moment, 'Hello, is Dong Zhiyu in?'"

  "Miss Bai just left, may I ask who you are? I'll pass on a message?" The other party started speaking in an official tone.

  Huaijin thought for a moment, "I'm her colleague in the Xuanwu department, nothing much, just calling to wish her a happy new year, and also wishing you an early happy new year."

  "Hello, miss, what's your surname?"

  "My surname is Huai."

  "What's wrong?"

  "Nostalgic 'Nostalgia'."

  "Okay, I'll have Miss Biao call you back when she gets back."

  "It's okay, I don't have a phone here. Thank you, goodbye."

  "See you later."

  She put down the phone and walked aimlessly, the noise and unfamiliar tone on the other end of the line making her feel like an intruder who didn't belong. Suddenly, a wake-up call, she was "Song", how could he get so close to her!

  It's better to leave, go back to Xuanwu, go back to that house, that's where I should be. Huaijin looked at the gloomy sky, but before leaving, there was one place she had to see.

  Dong Zhiyu and her cousin Zeng Jiali had just bought a bunch of clearance sale goods for the new year, as soon as they entered the house, they looked for Wu Ma, "Is anyone looking for me?"

  "Miss Table, you've finally asked the right question this time!"

  "Really? Who is it?"

  "It's a young lady, says she's your colleague from Xuanwu, and speaks very pleasant Yanzhao Mandarin."

  "Is her surname 'Huai'?"

  "Yes," Wu Ma looked at the joy in Dong Zhiyu's eyes, somewhat puzzled. Originally, she had guessed that Miss Biao was waiting for a boy and thought she would be disappointed. "She said it was just to make a phone call to celebrate the new year, I told her to wait until you get back to return her call, she said no need, there is no phone where she is."

  "Then she said where was she? Is she still calling?"

  "No, didn't say" Wu Ma drew out the ending tone, looking at Miss Biao's eyes gradually dimming, she was even more puzzled, "Is this Miss Huai your junior sister from Xuanwu?"

  "…No!" Dong Zhiyu shook her head and ran upstairs, she didn't understand why she couldn't go out early or late, but just this morning followed Zeng Jiali to buy New Year's goods, buying all sorts of useless things.

  Arriving at the Chenghuang Temple, it was already afternoon, and many people were preparing to return home for their New Year's Eve dinner. Huai Jin relied on her memory to find that corner from seventeen years ago.

  Seventeen years ago, in the winter, she wore a boy's clothes picked up by herself, and escaped to Shanghai by train-hopping and walking. In this city god temple, there was a stall selling sugar-roasted chestnuts, next to which was a corner where she could barely feel the warmth of the stove fire. She stayed there every day, relying on that little warmth to keep warm. The sugar-roasted chestnuts smelled very good, but she couldn't eat them. Every day, she relied on alms from others - one or two copper coins - to buy some cheap and filling steamed buns or roasted sweet potatoes. She really wanted to eat sugar-roasted chestnuts, but for her at that time, it was too luxurious. Several steamed buns could support her for several days, while several steamed buns were needed to buy a bag of chestnuts.

  Seventeen years had passed, and the layout here had changed a lot. The sugar-roasted chestnut stall from back then was nowhere to be seen. Huaijin looked around, sighed, and another streetcar drove by, stopping on the other side of the street. Several young women got off the car, with the one in front wearing a dark green waist-length coat and a hat of the same color, setting off her pale and translucent skin, like jade in the rain or pear blossoms.

  On the other side, he also caught a glimpse of Hua Jin, who was standing tall and slender across the street, like a beautiful landscape in the crowd, making people stop to admire.

  The faint regret that had been lingering in his heart suddenly vanished the moment he saw her, and Dong Zhiyu smiled slightly as he walked towards her.

  That smile was like a warm sun in March, with a cluster of tender buds on the branch, and the surroundings were no longer dull and lifeless. As she walked towards him, Huai Jin felt his stomach suddenly tighten, unable to control it.

  A young man riding a bicycle suddenly appeared from somewhere and quickly passed between the two of them.

  "Be careful!" Just as Dong Zhiyu was about to lose her balance, Huai Jin pulled her over with one hand.

  Lost balance, stuck in her arms, and suddenly bounced back, the nasal cavity still lingering with a hint of fragrance from the other's collar.

  Dong Zhiyu lowered her eyelashes and gently bit her lower lip.

  Huai Jin raised her hand to try to tuck her hair behind her ear, but the lock of hair was already neatly tucked away.

  A little awkward.

  "Is everything done?" Dong Zhiyu raised her eyelashes, touched her eyes, and then dodged away.

  "Right," Huai Jin slightly raised the corner of her lips, "aren't you going home yet?"

  "Dong Zhiyu turned around and pointed to the place where she got off on the other side of the street earlier, 'I went to the chapel with a few old classmates,' her fellow students had long since gone who-knows-where, she turned back around, not needing such big body movements, looking a bit silly and cute."

  Huai Jin smiled, "You didn't even say goodbye to them."

  Dong Zhiyu's face inexplicably turned red, "I said it when I got off the car," she said and bit her lower lip again, "You're alone, why didn't you come find me?"

  "I gave you a call."

  "But I didn't receive it."

  Hua Jin raised an eyebrow on one side.

  Dong Zhiyu took a step forward, "First time seeing you in a skirt, looks pretty good."

  Huaijin followed behind him and smiled, "Thank you for your undeserved praise."

  "Hey, what are you doing alone at Cheng Huang Temple?" Dong Zhiyu stopped in his tracks.

  Huai Jin thought for a moment, "I'll have some sugar-roasted chestnuts."

  Dong Zhiyu burst out laughing and asked, "Did you eat it?"

  "No, can't find it."

  "Then I'll take you to eat, the most authentic." Dong Zhiyu said and walked forward lightly.

  It was an inconspicuous store, the master stir-frying in the back, and an old aunt weighing and selling at the front. Dong Zhiyu took two large bags, "Give, it's fragrant."

  She took over the chestnut and was greeted by a familiar pungent aroma, but instead of eating it, she warmly hugged it in her arms.

  "Why aren't you eating? It seems like last time I saw you buying chestnuts, but you didn't eat them, just held them."

  "I don't like eating on the street."

  "Alright, hold on tight then." Dong Zhiyu said as he pulled out a few bills from his pocket and handed them to the beggars lying by the road, saying "It's New Year's, go buy something good to eat and drink."

  Huai Jin looked at her, and suddenly a warmth he had never felt before rose up in his heart.

  "Today, we helped a lot of people," said Dong Zhiyu as he walked back to Huaijin's side. "Just now, several of us donated a lot of money in the chapel, and the nuns will use it to make clothes for the poor."

  "You are very kind."

  Dong Zhiyu smiled, "Soft-hearted," and walked forward, "Auntie said that when I was young, I had no heart at all. Once during the New Year, I gave all the lucky money I received to a little brother on the side of the road."

  A stir in his heart.

  "By the way, I also gave him a pack of sugar-roasted chestnuts," Dong Zhiyu chuckled. "At that time, that little brother looked especially pitiful. That day seemed particularly cold, he leaned against the wall corner, his lips were frozen purple, as if he hadn't eaten for a long time, it was right here at the City God Temple."

  "And then?"

  Then I gave him a bag of sugar roasted chestnuts in my hand, and also gave him all the lucky money I got from the red envelope on me, which was still real silver coins at that time.

  The sky finally started to snow, and the gloomy grayness that had been lingering for two days was replaced by the first deep blue of night. Snowflakes fluttered down, beautiful like a fairy who didn't belong to this world.

  Huai Jin was trapped in this suddenly arrived night, unable to move, snowflakes fell on her face, but she still stood there, becoming a statue.

  Dong Zhiyu had already walked ahead, but when she didn't catch up, he turned his head to look back and saw her standing still there, staring at him.

  "It's snowing, let's go." She walked back.

  Huai Jin only felt her lips trembling slightly, "Golden water chestnuts?"

  "Huh?" This sudden sentence made Dong Zhiyu somewhat bewildered.

  Huai Jin reached into the innermost pocket of her clothes and pulled out a small, exquisite red bundle. She slowly unfolded it, revealing an old crimson cloud-patterned silk pouch with a beautiful little sheep embroidered on it in gold thread.

  As the pouch unfolded, Dong Zhiyu's expression changed from confusion to astonishment. When her mother was alive, she always wore a red pouch with an embroidered small sheep on it. When it got old or lost, her mother would embroider a new one for herself... "This... how could this be..."

  Huai Jin only felt a blur in front of her eyes, and before tears fell from her eyes, she stretched out her arms and pulled Dong Zhiyu into her embrace.

  "...... is you?" Dong Zhiyu murmured.

  Tears fell silently, Huai Jin held her tightly. "That day was exceptionally cold, people were busy preparing for the New Year's goods and returning home to celebrate, but I hadn't eaten for two days. I thought I would die on New Year's Eve until a 5 or 6-year-old girl walked in front of me, handed me a package of fragrant chestnuts and said 'Here, these are Jinshui chestnuts, they're sweet!' Then she handed me another package of silver coins, it was a lot of money, which helped me survive that long and harsh winter."

  Her voice was still as clear and gentle as ever, telling the story in a calm and peaceful tone, without any excessive pain or other emotions. Dong Zhiyu only felt heartache, full of heartache, and even blamed herself in her heart for leaving her on the dark and cold street back then. She tightened her arms, gently turned her head, and pressed her face against Huaijin's face, soft and warm, reluctant to part with him.

  She also turned her face sideways, and she felt that her lips had touched a soft, fragrant skin, as if it would melt at the touch. It was an unprecedented feeling, unclear whether it was her own initiative or external force, as if her lips were lightly sliding on that skin, and yet seemed to be about to fall into a wonderful and dangerous place. She stopped, leaving her face, looking at her with some confusion.

  Dong Zhiyu opened his eyes, and Huai Jin's eyes were like a pool of water under the deep blue night sky, calm and sentimental. She looked up and said softly, "Come with me, I'll take you to have dinner on New Year's Eve."

  "I...can't."

  "Alright, let's discuss this."

  The author has something to say: The first time I met your hand

  Ten fingers, you and me

  Red face warm hands

  My heart is burning with anxiety

  Gently wipe your sleeve

  Your dream has me

  Start feeling at ease and follow you

  Never Let Go Forever

  Holding back my tears with my hands

  Laugh and cry enough

  Let me go with an easy mind

  I understand, I understand, don't let go

  Counting on fingers and counting dreams

  One is you, two is me

  Can't put your mind at ease and let go

  You go your way and I'll let go

  Xu Ruyun's "The Kid Who Learns Piano", clean melody, piano background music and arrangement are all good, if you're interested, give it a listen.

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