Chapter Ten: The Feng Shui of a Murder House

  That girl absolutely wouldn't be the female ghost who used dead people's money in that bald guy's mouth, she must have picked up another female ghost passenger halfway. I silently cursed that guy several times in my heart.

  The paddy frog grasped the bald brother's left hand, placed it in his palm and examined it carefully for a while, excitedly saying: "Big brother, you've been possessed by an evil spirit, do you know why you're so unlucky?"

  The bald-headed brother was shocked and asked him: "Little master, what did you see?"

  The pheasant mysteriously said to the bald brother: "Big brother, your left palm has a vertical crease that is different from the ordinary broken palm crease. This is the yin-yang line. People with this fate are born to attract ghosts and avoid human fortune, wealth, longevity, and emotions. They cannot rest in peace after death, and their grave will not have any grass growing on it. Three flaws and five deficiencies, you occupy three lines, also known as three breaks: breaking off relationships, breaking off wealth, and breaking off lifespan. In simpler terms, a poor ghost, a short-lived ghost, a heavenly solitary star ghost."

  The bald brother was so scared by Tianji that he was covered in goosebumps and his legs were trembling, asking: "Little master, how can we get out of this?"

  "Hey, big brother, you've come to the right place looking for Tian Xiaoshifu from Tian's paper shop. Ha! No choice, we're in this line of work... Take people's money and provide them with fun, here you go!", saying that, he stretched out his right hand in front of the bald-headed guy.

  The bald brother understood, and immediately took out a red old man's head from his pocket and handed it to Tianji.

  The pheasant slightly shook its head and did not withdraw its outstretched hand: "Sincerity moves the gods, sincerity moves the gods..."

  The bald brother gritted his teeth and took out another old man's head to hand over to Tianji, only then did the little guy withdraw his hand.

  The paddy frog took out a yellow paper charm from the store and handed it to the bald brother, saying: "Brother, you just need to stick this paper charm in a corner of the car where some passengers can't see it. It won't affect business and can also ward off evil spirits and ghosts. Go ahead."

  The bald brother thanked him and left with gratitude.

  The paddy field chicken shouted again: "Big brother, you must remember, sincerity moves heaven, sincerity moves heaven..."

  From far away came the bald-headed brother's reply: "Master Tian Xiao, I've taken note of it."

  I stood in the store, watching Tianji's awkward performance. After Guangtou walked away, Tianji met my questioning gaze with a smug smile: "Damn it, you little bastard is being mysterious and sneaky, what are you up to?"

  This set of moves, I learned it back in police school. He told me the exact same thing as that guy just now. He was my closest buddy in police school, but what annoyed me most was that he always tried to feed me with knowledge about ghosts and supernatural stuff. At that time, I even ridiculed him for being like his dad, a fortune teller, and called him a little fortune teller.

  The paddy frog smiled complacently: "Brother, it's nothing. If we don't make money like this, we won't make it at all..."

  "My goodness! A gentleman makes his fortune in a proper way. How can this kid do such a thing? I asked him, 'Aren't you afraid that your actions will smash the signboard of Tian's Paper Shop?'"

  "Come on! I'm telling you, can't you use your pig brain to think for a moment? Haven't you heard me say time and again that sincerity moves the gods, sincerity moves the gods? If that guy runs into trouble again, it's only because his heart isn't sincere, how can he blame my charm for not working?" Tian Ji waved two red banknotes in front of me, stuffed them into his pocket, and hummed smugly: "I told you a long time ago, this swindling people to death, deceiving the living is easy money!"

  I almost wanted to slap this kid a couple of times, it seems that after leaving the police school for just a few days, he has already learned how to cheat and deceive. Damn, how did I end up with a friend like him?

  The paddy frog stood in front of me with a smile on his face: "Brother, it's your turn, stretch out your palm."

  I impatiently shook off his hand and said: "Go to a cool place, stop talking about the broken palm, my ears are all calloused from listening."

  The pheasant looked at me with disgust and rubbed its thin chin: "Dude, from what you said, your old house is really not clean, huh?"

  Thinking of the terrifying singing and laughter last night, he made my back cool. I roared: "Damn it, can't you just get to the point? Are you going to do it or not?"

  The country dog's face was filled with helplessness: "Alright, Master Tian is not at home, only Little Master Tian can accompany you on this trip."

  The pheasant took out a handful of incense, a bundle of paper money, and several yellow paper talismans from the paper shop and got into my car. When we arrived at the vegetable market, he went to buy a block of square-shaped pork and a jug of wine.

  I watched the pheasant busy itself and thought to myself

  Abuse God Tieba

  "This kid looks like he's really learned from his old man, maybe he'll even make it..."

  I drove back to the Shen family's old mansion with Tianji, but Shen Lan was not there. I called out several times, but Shen Lan did not respond.

  The pheasant put down all his things and looked at me with a ambiguous face: "Shen Lan? I'm asking, bro, is it male or female?"

  I was originally going to shout for Shen Lan to come out and help carry things, but he's nowhere to be seen. I reluctantly replied, "Got it!"

  The pheasant laughed even more sinisterly: "Yours? Brother, when did you develop this hobby? You've been back for just a few days and you've already hooked up with a young pretty boy and are living together?"

  "Alright, alright, stop talking nonsense. It's not as complicated as you think. He... he's my cousin, came to the mansion to keep me company." That guy actually thought of me in that way. I didn't want to talk nonsense with him, so I told a lie.

  The expression on the face of the pheasant obviously didn't believe what I said was true, I hated to dig out the eyeballs emitting green light from his small eyes. After thinking about it, forget it, endure it, who made me have something to ask him now.

  I urged him to hurry up, but the paddy frog was not in a hurry to take action, saying that now is the time when the sun is high and the yang energy is flourishing, it's not suitable for casting spells. Standing in front of the house facing the garden, he looked intensely from time to time, shaking his head and sighing, making me feel dizzy.

  "Damn it, what the hell are you doing?"

  "Hey buddy, calm down, I'm checking out the feng shui of this garden."

  "Feng shui?", I couldn't help but retort: "You really think you're a master, huh..."

  The paddy field gathered the hippie's smiling face, a pair of small eyes were filled with solemnity, I had never seen him so serious before, my heart tightened: "Then what did you see?"

  "Hey, bro! Look at this old mansion of yours. The exterior walls are made of traditional green bricks and the roof tiles are gray. From the outside, it looks like the house is really long from east to west but short from north to south. However, the old-fashioned tile-roofed gatehouse is facing west, which is quite unusual. There's a brick-built middle gate between the gatehouse and the main house, making it a pretty unique design. I was just thinking, this house isn't bad at all, it has a really classic feel to it, so how did it become a haunted house?"

  The paddy bird suddenly cried out: "Wu Yin's wood!"

  I was taken aback: "Five Yin Wood? What is Five Yin Wood?" Tian Ji's words were too sudden, my body trembled with fear for a moment, it seems that this deceitful and cunning Tian Boguang really has his own set of tricks.

  The pheasant nodded, looked at me and said: "I heard my old father say that in Feng Shui, ordinary houses pay attention to the type of trees planted and their layout. Your old house almost violates all the taboos of Feng Shui. Planting tung oil trees in the garden, willow trees by the pond, and directly opposite the door is really not right."

  I was stunned, and then I heard the paddy frog continue to say: "Your family's old house is located at the foot of the mountain, isolated and alone. Originally, it didn't have much yang energy, and now that you've planted five yin trees, the yin energy will accumulate and be difficult to disperse. Over time, this will inevitably give rise to evil spirits... a house like this can almost be considered a haunted house..."

  "Ah? No, this old house has a concentrated aura of resentment in the air above it. Someone must have died here... and not just one person..."

  I almost shouted out, this little brat Tianji wouldn't use his deceitful tricks on me, would he? But seeing him speak with such conviction, I felt a chill run down my spine.

  "My old man told me that in front of the house, don't plant mulberry trees, behind the house, don't plant willow trees, and in the courtyard, don't plant Bodhi trees. But now, your house has all three: mulberry, willow, and pagoda trees. The character for 'pagoda' is made up of a 'wood' radical and a 'ghost' radical - it's extremely yin. This pagoda tree you've planted right in front of the main door means that yang energy can't get in, making the whole house very gloomy. And willow branches are originally used to stick into graves, so planting them in a sunny yard is also unlucky. When the wind blows, they rustle and whisper like thousands of ghostly hands dancing in the wind. During the day it's not too bad, but at night, the shadows of the leaves dance around, making strange noises that are very frightening. If this goes on for long, it will definitely affect people's minds and have bad consequences..."

  This kid's words are so smooth, I'm getting goosebumps all over my body and breaking out in cold sweat, I don't know whether to believe him or not. Looking at his appearance, he really does seem like a little god.

  I tentatively asked him: "Tianji, you little brat, aren't you just trying to fool me with all that talk?"