Chapter Twelve: Suicide

  Xiao Yan finally used all her strength to push open the iron gate, lifted her foot and took big strides to continue running. Unexpectedly, outside the iron gate was a seemingly bottomless black abyss. Before she could retract her steps, one foot stepped into empty space, and she fell into endless darkness. Suddenly, she heavily crashed onto the ground again.

  Tear ——

  Xiao Yan opened her eyes with a pained expression and let out a soft sigh. The darkness in front of her gradually brightened, as if illuminated by moonlight. A faint smell of disinfectant wafted through the air, and several white cloths floated across her face. Xiao Yan looked at the white cloths in confusion, suddenly recalling that white figure with a jolt of terror, but quickly calmed down, relieved not to hear any crying sounds. She's not here. Looking around at the dimly lit yet moonlit ground, Xiao Yan wondered, where is this?

  Just as she was about to sit up and investigate, her head hit something like an iron frame, making a huge noise, startling Tong Xuan who was sleeping soundly beside Xiao Yan's bed. Xiao Yan subconsciously pressed her hands against her forehead, unintentionally touching the iron frame above her, which filled her with extreme terror.

  Tong Xuan hastily turned on the lamp in front of the hospital bed, and saw that Xiao Yan was not on the bed. She bent down to look under the bed, froze for half a second, then quickly pulled Xiao Yan out from under the bed and helped her back onto the hospital bed. Xiao Yan stared blankly, looking at herself wearing blue-striped pajamas and the equipment around her. Obviously, this was a hospital, and just now, she had been under the hospital bed.

  Tong Xuan didn't say a word, closing her mouth and not mentioning that strange 'under the bed', smiling awkwardly instead:

  "You finally woke up, you've been unconscious for two days and scared mom to death." She said, rummaging through the cabinet for bruise cream, without saying a word, gently dabbing it on Xiaoyan's reddened forehead with her hand, then putting the cream back in its original place.

  "Unconscious for two days?" Xiaoyan asked in surprise and doubt after a long while.

  "Yes, the doctor said it was an overdose of sleeping pills. Ye Chen almost didn't make it to class, and left after 12 o'clock. Without you... mom can't go on living... Luckily she woke up... scared her mother to death..." Xiaoyan couldn't smile anymore, and as she spoke, tears fell onto the back of her hand.

  Xiao Yan seemed to understand something after listening, stretched out her hand to wipe away her mother's tears and explained:

  "Mom, I didn't try to kill myself, I...I remember I only took two pills at most...I don't know why I fainted either."

  Tong Xuan lifted her head and looked at Xiao Yan's sincere and determined eyes, and tied up Xiao Yan's scattered hair.

  "Really... isn't it just giving up..."

  Xiao Yan nodded firmly, Tong Xuan burst into tears and laughed, as if she was talking to Xiao Yan, but also seemed to be muttering to herself.

  "It's not okay, it's not okay, this heart disease is hard to cure... Fortunately, I woke up, otherwise how could I live?"

  Xiao Yan didn't respond, Tong Xuan covered her with the quilt and sat on the bed, watching over her daughter until after a long while, she heard Xiao Yan's even and steady breathing, feeling extremely tired, before carefully lying down beside Xiao Yan's bed to sleep.

  Xiao Yan slowly opened her eyes and gazed at the tightly clasped hand of her mother, who was fast asleep beside her. Xiao Yan gently stroked the rough scab on her mother's palm, thinking that she must have been working and taking care of herself while rushing back and forth every other day, feeling a sourness in her heart.

  Xiao Yan's infinite fear in her heart seemed to have been suppressed because of her mother's presence, and this time, being dragged under the bed by 'her' right under her mother's nose, perhaps her mother was even more fearful, flustered, and at a loss. Xiao Yan had clearly caught Tong Xuan's terrified and worried eyes when she pulled herself out from under the bed, and she knew that her mom didn't say anything to avoid stimulating her. How could Xiao Yan's sensitive mind not understand what everyone around her was thinking?

  She knew, she knew. She knew Tong Xuan was just an ordinary person, a humble lower-class worker, powerless to save herself and didn't know what to do. But her mother had been trying to comfort herself, protect herself, with all her might. Xiaoyan saw everything, buried it in her heart.

  What other bizarre events will occur in this long, dark night, no one knows. Xiaoyan seems to be filled with endless fear for every next second, even her breathing is constrained, she can only look forward to the moment when the sun rises.

  The faint light in the hospital, sometimes coming from somewhere, accompanied by the mournful cries of pain, the smell of disinfectant... Everything is so suitable for the 'soul' to dwell, as if that corner, still hiding a woman in white clothes and black hair, staring straight at Xiaoyan, smiling quietly, making a laughter that only she can hear...

  Xiao Yan grasped her mother's hand tightly again, and sweat dripped from her palms...

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