Chapter 26: My Neighbor Can't Be This Heavy (2)
In the still chilly Chinese street in the early morning, red and black colors intertwined, Ailsa led her to slip into an inconspicuous small door.
Ludwig looked with some difficulty at the narrow passage behind the small door.
"We...are we going to get past this place later?"
"That's right."
She swallowed a mouthful of saliva: "...... If I don't make it later, you mustn't laugh at me, you have to believe that I just got fat recently."
Alicia smiled and said, "Don't worry too much, according to Chinese sayings, being fat is a sign of good fortune."
He stood shoulder to shoulder with Ludwig at the entrance of the corridor:
"And you're not fat at all, you're too thin."
Ludwig looked at the narrow and rough passage behind the small door, and touched the stone-patterned wall.
"Mr. Ares, I suddenly feel a little regretful, what should I do?"
Aizi elegantly led the way in:
"I thought you would give up everything for good food."
"Of course not."
Ludwig said solemnly:
"At least leave me with basic vital signs and a tongue - otherwise how can I eat?"
Ailisi turned back with a smile: "I won't cut off your tongue, what's there for you to regret?"
"I'm afraid you're not a foodie, but a terrorist. After I went in, I couldn't find honey, only guns."
Ludwig's catwalk above, wooden flower-carved screens are installed around the passageway.
She half-jokingly complained:
"Who would open a store in such a place? Does your friend have some dissatisfaction with the fat man? Do you want to refuse the fat man's entry in this way?"
"Come to think of it, it's indeed to refuse entry to fat people..."
Aizi stretched out her hand and drew a perfect circle in the air.
"Although it's a bit hard to say... his wife weighs 100 kilograms."
Ludwig stared blankly at Eris's back:
"Mr. Erris... I thought you were a gentleman."
Ailisi crawled out of the passageway with her waist bent and stood up straight.
He held two signs, one on each side of him.
On the right side is a big, crooked, and twisted "heaven" in clerical script.
On the left side is a big, crooked, small seal script "earth".
Damn it, the clerical script is at least horizontal and vertical, a slightly crooked word can still be made out... That twisted little seal script cannot be called "earth" at all?!
And who would put Clerical Script and Small Seal Script together! They are from different generations!
Airi stood between heaven and earth, winking at Ludwig.
"Even gentlemen need to unwind sometimes."
Just then, a rough voice came from behind the flower stand with porcelain.
"Oh, oh! Beautiful guest from France!"
The shop owner walked up enthusiastically.
Ludwig was once again flabbergasted.
This must be the fattest man she has ever seen, without exception.
Not only fat but also dark, not only dark but also rough-looking, just like a wild boar.
Absolutely more than 100 kilograms!!
The shopkeeper walked over to them, twisted his hips, and knocked Aresy onto a nearby flower stand.
"Oh no......good grief."
Arya painfully propped up a blue and white porcelain vase that he had knocked against.
"You should be gentle, Shakespeare."
Shakespeare?!
Ludwig's mouth was open and couldn't be closed.
This must be fake!
Mom, what's wrong with this world?
Aries, as a refined and elegant gentleman, your life behind the scenes is too heavy!
The plump Chinese street vendor, Shashibiya, only had eyes for the "beautiful French girl" Ludwig, and didn't notice at all the miserable-looking Aries who had been knocked down by him.
He walked straight up to the disheveled Ludwig, his eyes shining, and made a bow as if inviting him to dance.
Then, before Ludwig could react, Shakespeare took hold of Ludwig's hand and pressed his greasy lips to the back of it, giving it a gentle kiss.
Ludwig was momentarily stunned and couldn't stop.
Mom, I think I just got kissed by a pig...
I was kissed by a pig ahahahaha! I want to wipe my hand I want to wipe my hand I want to wipe my hand!!
Emma, will I get beaten up if I wipe my hands now...
Alicia walked forward, pulled the fat shopkeeper aside, and then pulled out a neatly folded handkerchief from her long pants pocket. She took Ludwig's hand and wiped it clean carefully.
"Be patient for now and go wash your hands later."
Ludwig was completely unaware of anything being amiss.
Ariel said to Shakespeare: "Shakespeare, hello. When can you change your bad habit of being colorblind?"
Shakespeare turns around: "Who are you? I don't know you."
Alicia: "William Shakespeare, I've known you for ten years, yet every time I come into your store, I have to introduce myself all over again."
Shakespeare turned his face back, with a proud and arrogant expression:
"Alright, say it, what are you here to grab this time?"
"Rob? Shakespeare, don't be so rash, when have I ever not paid?"
"You have indeed paid all the bills, but the problem is which time you paid was within my profitable value?"
"Shakespeare..."
Alicia wanted to say something else, but was caught by Ludwig's hand.
"Please, don't call him Shakespeare anymore, just call him William..."
She said with a lingering fear: "I don't know how you managed to get it out, but I feel that after this trip back, I won't be able to look straight at Romeo and Juliet for the rest of my life..."
Alicia: “……”
Shakespeare: “To be, or not to be: that is the question”
Twenty minutes later, Ludwig sat in Eryndor's car with a jar of Snowpetal honey.
6:30
Ludwig urged those around him, "Can you please hurry up a bit?"
Alicia started the engine: "Of course... you have something urgent to get back to?"
Ludwig sighed: "There's a cat at home that needs feeding, Mr. Ericsi..."
Aryesi interrupts her: "Call me Aryesi, Vishy."
She hesitated for a moment, thinking it wasn't a big deal after all.
"Arise."
"Alright, give him a reward."
Alicia reached out and ruffled Ludwig's hair, her movements very familiar.
Ludwig: I don't freaking want such a crappy reward!
Mr. Ailes, stop your salty pig hands!
He withdrew his hand: "You bought honey to feed the cat? I've never seen a cat that loves eating honey."
"No, it's me who eats honey. It loves playing with honey and often explodes a jar of honey, making the living room all sticky... what a headache..."
Ludwig said that this sentence, apart from the word "it", is a complete truth from start to finish!
"...your cat can do this, and its IQ is quite high too."
Ludwig: "I get tired just talking about this topic. Let's change... Actually, I've had a question since earlier."
Alicia leaned against the steering wheel and smiled: "I probably guessed what you want to ask."
Ludwig turned around: "I hate people who pretend to know everything the most - guess what?"
"You wonder how William got in through that narrow entrance...?"
Ludwig slapped his thigh:
"This is the problem! I completely can't understand it, it's simply a challenge to my three views... how on earth did he get in?"
Aizi rubbed his temples with his index finger and said with a headache:
"What to do, I don't know either, it's always been an unsolved mystery - he used to be in the army and was quite athletic back then. After his military service ended, he got married, and for some reason, he became this fat."
"Wait a minute..." Ludwig suddenly had a very bad feeling.
"...Did you say he served in the army?"
"Yes."
"It won't be in Afghanistan, will it?"
"How is that possible." Ares smiled and glanced at her: "You're overthinking it, he served in the Navy."
Ludwig patted his chest and suddenly felt a sense of relief as if he had just saved Mr. Holmes' life.
Just now I heard Eryx say that William boss had served in the army, and she subconsciously thought of John Watson.
If Mr. Holmes' future bosom friend, love and lifelong companion were not only as fat as a pig but also as fat as a wild boar...
That's really... The scene is too beautiful, she dare not think about it...
……
