Insufficient balance

  "If grandma were in mom's position, she would definitely do the same." Xue Chongxun suddenly threw out this sentence and then fell silent. This one sentence was more effective than giving a hundred reasons.

  Indeed, Taiping Princess's face showed a complex expression. Her feelings towards Wu Zetian were quite complicated, with love, admiration, resentment... and so on. Perhaps when Wu Zetian killed her husband, she had hated, felt wronged, and was helpless, but how could she completely hate her mother because of this? In the early years, Wu Zetian had been so doting on her! She not only relied on Wu Zetian's love but also admired her to the point of worship. Xue Chongxun understood his mother's psychology of admiring her grandmother and that was why he said such a thing.

  Xue Chongxun didn't have much feelings or hatred towards his paternal grandmother, Wu Zetian; she was the one who killed his father, so what? Xue Chongxun didn't even hate his paternal grandmother because he knew that when Wu Zetian killed his father, it was just a political necessity. Thinking about it, his paternal grandmother was actually someone who would stop at nothing for power and sacrifice everything for it... Xue Chongxun reflected on himself, afraid that he couldn't do the same; perhaps he would also be ruthless and lose his conscience at times, but only as a means to survive.

  He didn't want to die, he could do a lot of things to survive, but if it was just for more power, it wasn't worth it.

  The rain is still falling. Taiping Princess's emotions have also become like the rain, moist and entangled, unable to be cut off. She even recalled the thoughts of her girlhood days, those sweet past events, those romantic encounters, that handsome and elegant man with a noble demeanor and refined speech, who burst into her heart like a little rabbit in spring...

  "Ah!" Another thunderclap, Taiping Princess, lost in thought, was startled and let out a loud cry. She raised her head to gaze up at the sky, and this scene brought back memories of when her mother wanted to kill her husband Xue Shao, she had also looked up at the sky like this, hoping for an answer from above... Her heart had been torn apart by grief, she had begged desperately, but what use was it? Her mother, who had always been gentle and accommodating towards her, became cold-blooded and ruthless, not caring about her feelings.

  She understood the benefits of power, with power, you can get whatever you want; without power, there will be many helpless sorrows... But, with power, will there still be such sincere sorrow as before?

  "Mother, are you all right?" Xue Chongxun's concerned words broke into Taiping Princess's thoughts, and she looked at Xue Chongxun with a slight shake of her head.

  "I saw that Mother's complexion wasn't too good. With this rain, the weather which had originally started to warm up was going to take a turn for the worse again. Mother would have to rest and take care of her body."

  Princess Taiping looked at Xue Chongxun's face and suddenly said: "Your face looks a bit like your father... but it's darker now, are you still practicing martial arts?"

  The two suddenly started talking about something unrelated, and Xue Chongxun had no choice but to follow his mother's words and replied: "Yes, I saw in the book that ancient scholars who read books must know at least six arts. As a scholar-official, I naturally have to learn from the sages."

  Princess Taiping nodded and after a moment of contemplation, she said: "I have something to ask you, and I want you to answer truthfully."

  "Yes." Xue Chongxun said.

  Princess Taiping said: "The other day, your subordinate killed Feng Yuanjun. Outside rumors say it was because of a dispute over a woman, but I don't think that's like you. You killed him to make me believe in you?"

  His mother was indeed a strong woman, and she immediately saw through the mystery. Xue Chongxun didn't want to lie in front of his mother, so he honestly said: "Yes. Feng Yuanjun is Gao Lishi's only relative, I killed him, and then Mother would believe that I am not inclined towards the prince. Only by killing the prince can I prove my sincerity. This is the only way out, and I have thought it through carefully before speaking to Mother."

  "It's easy to talk, but it's not that simple to kill Li Longji." Taiping Princess did not reject Xue Chongxun's words, nor did she agree. She needed time to consider such matters. She continued, "However, looking at your performance this time, you're quite decisive and have made some progress."

  This should be commended and praised for a son doing evil things and committing murder.

  Unexpectedly, Xue Chongxun did not show any delight, but instead let out a sigh and said: "Erlang is becoming increasingly distant from his mother, do you know why?"

  The Princess Taiping frowned: "This ingrate, what's the point of mentioning him?"

  Xue Chongxun's expression changed as he said, "When we were young, our mother didn't care much about us siblings, but she was especially good to Li Sanlang. My sister and I got used to it, but Erlang has always been unhappy... Mother, although we have the royal family's blood flowing through our veins, we still want the warmth of a loving family..."

  Taiping Princess did not expect her son to speak like this, and for a moment she didn't know how to respond. She stared blankly at Xue Chongxun and said: "I have always had a good relationship with your uncle (the current Emperor Li Dan), and my concern for his son is only because of brotherly love, isn't that familial affection?"

  Princess Taiping was quite majestic in front of others, and she didn't expect her two sons to dare challenge her authority, both speaking to her in a tone of complaint. Last time it was Xue Erlang, this time it was Xue Chongxun again. Xue Chongxun wasn't afraid of his mother getting angry either, he seemed to be losing control of his emotions, and his voice grew louder: "I had to kill someone just to say something to make you believe my sincerity! Why? Does Mother really think I enjoy doing such things? Why doesn't even family trust me?"

  ……

  Just as Xue Er Lang deliberately provoked his mother, it was likely due to a self-protective mentality; Xue Chongxun also spoke to his mother in this tone, provoking her displeasure, which was also premeditated. He thought further ahead: if Taiping Princess really won in the future, then Xue Chongxun's several brothers, and even the descendants of the Li family, would contend for inheritance rights. Xue Chongxun first played an emotional card here to pave the way, which would be very beneficial later... it seems that Emperor Ruizong of Tang was also good at playing emotional cards.

  Of course, if Taiping Heavenly Kingdom fails, everyone will die, and today's performance would naturally be meaningless. Anyway, there is no harm in it.

  At this time, Princess Taiping certainly couldn't be happy, but Xue Chongxun spoke so sincerely that she should understand that her son had her, the mother, in his heart.

  Xue Chongxun had always thought this way, but when he said that he too yearned for family affection, a wave of sourness really did rise up in his heart. Whether it was true or false, even he himself couldn't make clear.

  Xue Chongxun growled at his mother in a somewhat annoyed tone, "You didn't like Li Sanlang that kid before, how about now? He's only happy when he can put you to death! In the end, who shares one heart with you, isn't it Li Sanlang, but your own flesh and blood son!"

  "You..." Princess Taiping's face was filled with anger, "How dare you speak to me in such a tone?"

  Xue Chongxun said stubbornly: "I was born by you, I'm not feeling well in my heart, why should I hide? If you think it's wrong to give birth to me now, just order to kill me, just like how your mother killed my father. My father and I will take the same path, I don't have anything good to cherish!"

  Princess Taiping's emotions were thoroughly stirred up by Xue Chongxun, she was extremely angry, but also with a hint of other emotions. In her rage, she cursed: "You unfilial son, get out! The farther you roll, the better, don't let me see you, get out! Don't you dare not to roll!"

  Xue Chongxun turned around and left without even saying goodbye. The mother and son parted ways unhappily.

  The dinner we had agreed on earlier didn't work out either.

  As Xue Chongxun walked out of the Zhen Guo Taiping Princess's mansion, he didn't feel any sadness or melancholy. Instead, he felt extremely relieved and refreshed. After having a fight with his mother, he felt great, no longer needing to be overly polite and courteous like before. The previous mother-son relationship was really cold and uncomfortable. Xue Chongxun suddenly realized that he also needed affection and warmth...

  If there is no kinship, no love, and no friends to trust, life is really dull. He tragically discovered that he had been living like this for so many years.

  A dull life. If he can survive this time, he will never want to live like this again.

  At this time, Ma Fu Pang Er knocked on the carriage and asked: "Lang Jun, are you returning to the mansion?"

  A cold home, where there is no one who expects me, nor anyone waiting for me... Xue Chongxun thought uninterestingly and said casually: "Let's go to Daqintemple, that little girl we met today said there's a Repentance Hall inside, I want to take a look, is it true?"

  "Alright, Daqin Temple."

  The Daqin Temple is not far from the Princess Mansion, and we'll be there soon. The rain in the sky hasn't stopped yet, spring rain seems to be like this, it doesn't fall heavily, but it just won't stop.

  Xue Chongxun got off the carriage and was slightly surprised to find that the woman who had taken shelter from the rain in the afternoon was still here.

  The woman also recognized Xue Chongxun and said with some surprise: "You... how did you come again?"

  The two almost spoke at the same time, and Xue Chongxun also said: "You have an umbrella, haven't you already left?"

  The girl suddenly burst out laughing, her laughter beautiful and pure. Indeed, once you've met someone twice, now she saw Xue Chongxun as if she had run into an old acquaintance, yet in reality, she didn't even know his name.

  She looked down at the umbrella in her hand, still the one Xue Chongxun had given her, and said with a hint of apology: "I really didn't think I'd run into you again... The rain hasn't stopped yet."

  Xue Chongxun is now in a good mood, he found that the trivial things in life are actually so interesting, more interesting than the fierce struggle on the temple stage. He smiled and said: "It's not something important, no need to return it, I still came by horse-drawn carriage."

  The woman's voice was as clear and crisp as a canary: "Next time I go out, I'll definitely bring two umbrellas, so you won't have to lend me one again."

  "It's nothing." Xue Chongxun replied honestly, but unexpectedly immediately triggered the woman's laughter, her hands were already on her stomach, what could be so funny?

  Xue Chongxun looked at her in confusion. The woman had a round face, big eyes, and small nose and mouth, unlike Yuwen Ji's sensual thick lips. She didn't have Yuwen Ji's flirtatious charm, and her facial features were relatively weak, with a hint of a doll-like quality, but she looked even more innocent.