Chapter 40: Sun Jian Obtains the Jade Seal and Pretends to be Ill to Resign ( Warning: Satire Ahead )

  "Huh? I'm talking about Cao Mengde! This is where you went wrong! Why did you suffer a crushing defeat? Because you advanced too far alone! Because you wanted to rescue the Emperor by yourself, didn't you?! Can you blame others for this?" Yuan Shu said with his head tilted, speaking in a sarcastic tone.

  "Yes! I admit that I was somewhat rash! But you should have sent all the elite cavalry to rush to my aid overnight! Because I've already suffered one ambush, there will absolutely be no second time! Dong Zhuo, who succeeded in the ambush, must be overjoyed and has become a proud army! And a proud army is bound to fail! As long as we continue to pursue and kill with 30,000 iron cavalry, we can definitely rescue the emperor! Behead Dong Zhuo!", Cao Cao rebuked angrily.

  "Lord Yuan Shu! We have formed an alliance until now, at least four times! Four chances to get rid of Dong Zhuo! Welcome back the Holy Chariot! The first time, I suggested that the allied army be reorganized and morale is high. Divide the troops into five routes: one route attacks Xingyang Pass, one route makes a feint attack on Hu Lao Pass, one route takes a detour to sneak up behind Luoyang City, one route ambushes at Hangu Pass to prevent Dong Zhuo's reinforcements from his old home in Western Liang, and one route attacks Rongyang Pass to cut off Dong Zhuo's retreat!"

  "Second time! Hua Xiong's defeat! We should have died defending the Tong Pass! If we had taken the Tong Pass, we could have dominated Luoyang! Another great opportunity has been thrown away by you!"

  "This is the third time! Dong Zhuo has led his great army here, I advise you to hold one side with Dong Zhuo and attack Luoyang by a small path on the other side! You gave up again! And this time! How many chances have been missed from front to back? Not once did you seize it!"

  "You are only concerned with your own interests! I am ashamed that Dong Zhuo cannot defeat you! —— I, Cao Cao, am ashamed to be in the same group as you!——", Cao Cao turned around and walked away. Liu Bei stopped him: "Brother Mengde, wait a moment!", Liu Bei stepped forward and bowed: "I should have left long ago, but I haven't said goodbye to everyone yet!"

  Yuan Shao stretched out his hand, showing great surprise: "Xuande is also leaving!", "Yes!" Liu Bei sighed: "Since we have to leave today, I'd like to ask you all! My three brothers and I have been repeatedly making military achievements since our alliance, but we've been hindered at every turn! ...Are you really trying to eliminate the bandits and support the Han dynasty, or do you want to use the name of eliminating the bandits to plot for the world?"

  Before Liu Bei could even hear the reply, Cao Cao, with a look of impatience on his face, pulled Liu Bei up and started walking out. The people present did not dare to speak, they were extremely ashamed!

  Sun Jian thought, what a great opportunity! It just so happened that he was also leaving and had caught the perfect timing. "A gentleman never uses foul language when parting ways! My old illness is acting up, I'll be heading to Jiangdong early tomorrow morning! Farewell, gentlemen!"

  Yuan Shao was already furious, and upon hearing Sun Jian's words, his anger became even more uncontrollable. He refused to let Sun Jian leave, saying: "I'm afraid that Sun Wen's illness is fake, but secretly hiding the jade seal and fleeing is true!" Sun Jian was shocked when he heard this - how did Yuan Shao know that he had obtained the jade seal? It must be blackmail! So he said: "What are you talking about, Yuan Shao? How could I possibly obtain the jade seal?"

  Yuan Shao heard this and said, "So you're still stubborn, Sun Jian! It seems that you won't shed tears until you see the coffin." Then he said, "Someone saw with their own eyes that you retrieved the jade seal from a well." When the other lords heard Yuan Shao say this, they were both envious and resentful of Sun Jian in their hearts, thinking: No wonder Sun Jian has been holding onto the imperial palace and not letting us in - it turns out he was searching for the jade seal!

  Sun Jian saw that he couldn't get out of this today, so he took out his trump card and said: "If I were to obtain this treasure and hide it for myself, I would not come to a good end, and would die by the sword or arrow!"

  That's why Sun Jian became the most trustworthy person in history! He even risked his life for it!

  Yuan Shao saw that Sun Jian was dead and refused to hand over the jade seal. Now, even after making a poisonous oath, he still couldn't get it back. This Sun Jian really had thick skin, he was simply shameless! No matter what, he wouldn't hand over the jade seal. He himself couldn't slap Sun Jian in the face, and even if he did, it would be useless. So, he hastily called for someone to bring the informant to come and confront Sun Jian face-to-face.

  Sun Jian saw that his own soldiers were betraying him and became enraged, drawing his sword to kill them. However, Yan Liang and Wen Chou, generals under Yuan Shao, intervened to stop him. Sun Jian's generals Cheng Pu, Huang Gai, and Han Dang also drew their swords, and a chaotic battle was about to erupt when the various lords present jointly persuaded them to calm down. Sun Jian then mounted his horse, pulled out of the camp, and left Luoyang.

  As soon as they exited the Jianzhang Hall, Li Yu stretched out his thumb to Cao Cao, indicating that this matter was handled beautifully! Seeing those vassals not daring to make a peep, he felt relieved and pleased.

  Liu Bei's performance also made him look at him with new eyes, indeed a famous hero, indeed good bravery, glanced at Guan Yu and Zhang Fei beside him, if not for the two of them, Li Yu would have killed him first!

  After this incident, the princes dispersed with discontent.

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  (Just kidding, I'm actually re-posting someone else's stuff, don't scold me! Waaahhhh...! Lastly, I promise, this is the last time, there's a first and second but no third!)

  Recently, Luoyang suddenly became popular with "homesickness", and Sun Jian, the governor of Changsha, became the latest well-known patient. The anti-Dong alliance leadership meeting was held in Luoyang a few days ago, and many lords expressed their condolences to Sun Jian, but he refused anyone to visit his residence in Jianzhang Hall on the grounds that he was in the "strong infectious period".

  Rumors circulated that this was an ill omen, as Sun Jian had already obtained the Imperial Seal and intended to secretly return to Jiangdong to prepare for his ascension to the throne.

  After Dong Zhuo completed the largest forced demolition in Chinese history, the current residents of Luoyang are all external populations such as the anti-Dong coalition forces. Although they no longer need to handle temporary residence permits, their living environment has been greatly discounted. The garrison of Jiangdong troops is located in Jiande Temple, and Sun Jian's large account is on the ruins of this burned-out palace.

  To dispel the dazzling "Sun Jian got the jade seal", Cheng Pu contacted this reporter through connections and conducted an exclusive interview with Sun Jian on his sickbed.

  "Yu Xi? To be honest, I've never heard of this term before. I only know that there's a cosmetics brand called Yu Si." Sun Jian said with some embarrassment at first. After the reporter's introduction, Sun Jian finally understood the origin of Yu Xi.

  However, he immediately stated that he was not very interested in collecting such jade artifacts because the Sun family's expertise is in advertising planning. "As everyone knows, I created the famous 'Overlord' brand, which represents the image of our Sun family. Now my son Sun Ce is also preparing to enter this sunrise industry. I tailored a brand new brand for him, and from a legal point of view, it is my sub-brand, so I call him - Little Overlord!"

  Regarding the whereabouts of the Heirloom Seal of the Realm, Sun Jian said that although he was completely unaware, he would definitely cooperate fully with the search efforts. On the spot, he held an office meeting and gathered his subordinates to demand a thorough investigation. "Our Jiangdong army has always been strict in military discipline, and all spoils will be handed over."

  The leader of the anti-Dong coalition, Yuan Shao, held a grand banquet yesterday at noon, with Sun Jian as the guest of honor. Our reporter rushed to the scene afterwards and was intercepted by Yuan's soldiers when trying to enter the banquet tent, unable to get first-hand information.

  According to an unnamed person present, Sun Jian made a farewell speech at the banquet and told Yuan Shao that he had completed his mission against Dong Zhuo and was preparing to return to his hometown in Jiangdong to continue his career as an advertising planner. The two sides engaged in fierce debate, with criticism escalating into armed conflict.

  After Sun Jian left in anger, Yuan Shao immediately sent a telegram nationwide to denounce him. There was a sentence in the telegram that made people think deeply: "There is no free lunch in the world, what makes Sun Jian eat for nothing?"

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  There is indeed no free lunch in the world. Yuan Shao secretly wrote a letter to Liu Biao, the governor of Jingzhou and a member of the imperial family, and Liu Jing. As a member of the imperial family, Liu Biao naturally could not ignore it, and perhaps he himself had some wild ambitions too?

  Tao Qian and Kong Rong each returned to Xuzhou and Beihai respectively to continue governing their lands. The remnants of Yuan Yi's troops were directly absorbed by Yuan Shao, who was delighted to have become a wealthy man, and followed Yuan Shao back to Bohai Commandery.

  Ma Teng led his army back to Xiliang, and Ji Province Governor Han Fu also returned to Ji Province. However, the territory had already been reserved by someone else! Chenliu Prefect Zhang Miao and his brother Guangling Prefect Zhang Chao combined their forces and returned to Chenliu. Kong Rong brought his troops back to Yuzhou, but died of illness just a few days later, which was still considered a relatively good ending;

  Liu Dai, the governor of Nanyang, asked Qiao Man for grain. Qiao Man looked at him with a gloomy face and thought he was a man who only knew how to take in but not give out, so he pretended to decline. This infuriated Liu Dai, who attacked and killed him, then swallowed up all his property! Now everything belonged to Liu Dai's family!

  There was also the governor of Hebei, Wang Kuang. Ever since he was frightened by Lü Bu and nearly lost his life, he had been nervous and on edge. Fortunately, he returned to Hebei before he died; if he had been scared to death by Lü Bu at that time, it would have been a real joke!

  Yuan Shu returned to Yuzhou naturally, and Zhang Yang also returned to Shangdang. After Liu Bei and his two brothers bid farewell to Cao Cao, they went with Gongsun Zan, the governor of Youzhou. It seems that he still has a period of time to be under someone's command!

  Bao Xin also went to serve as the governor of Jibei, but before he left, he paid a visit to Cao Cao and told him to wait for opportunities south of the Yellow River. This guy who was sometimes clever and sometimes muddled actually started making plans for Cao Cao;

  All the vassals have their own turf, only Cao Cao doesn't, he and his followers are at a loss as to where to go! Where to go?