Chapter 67

  Under such pressure, the idea of desertion jumped into my mind again.

  In fact, from start to finish, I never gave up the idea of escaping in my heart... For a period of time, it was just because the war was going smoothly or the troops were resting and temporarily put this idea aside.

  Now...

  I can't see any hope of victory, the continuous battles have exhausted me to the point where even a good night's sleep has become an unattainable luxury. The best excuse is... we're fighting for our lives on this battlefield, not only do we not get any benefits, but the instructor will criticize us at the drop of a hat!

  This made me even more determined to desert, especially on this dark night, taking advantage of the Viet Minh's artillery fire... running back a distance along the communication trench, who would notice?

  Thinking of this, I glanced at the traffic trench behind me and then quietly waited with my gun in hand.

  But what I didn't expect was... there were others who had thoughts of deserting, and their methods were even more clever and ruthless than mine.

  Just as I was waiting for the Vietnamese artillery fire, I heard a gunshot and a scream...

  The enemy is coming... This was my first reaction, then I didn't think and put the rifle on the trench.

  However, in front of the position, except for the mutilated corpses blown to pieces by artillery fire and a wave of nauseating stench, there was nothing.

  "Li Changman is injured!"

  "Li Changman?" It took me half a day to remember that he was one of the new recruits in our squad, so I put away my gun and ran towards the direction of the shouting.

  As I ran, I found it strange that there were no enemies and nothing was happening, so why did they shoot and get injured?

  Ran over to take a look and indeed, in the darkness, I vaguely saw a soldier clutching his calf and falling to the ground with a miserable cry!

  "Nurse! Nurse......" This was my first reaction, someone got hurt and bleeding, of course it's calling for a nurse isn't it?

  But when the medic ran up, he was stopped by Lian Zhang.

  "Wait!" Lian Chang ran up with a dark face, grabbed Li Changman's foot and looked at it, coldly asking: "What's going on?"

  "I...I don't know if it was because of the pain or something else, but Li Changman seemed a bit tense. He stuttered and said: "Just now...when I was repairing the gun, I had my back to it, digging and digging...and somehow the gun just went off!"

  "Hmph!" The company commander lifted his injured foot and glared at Li Changman, not saying a word as he bandaged it for him. His face was extremely ugly to look at, and when tying the knot, he intentionally used some force, causing Li Changman to let out a pained cry...

  I feel that something is off about this matter. Even if Lian Chang was careless when bandaging the wounded, it wouldn't be to this extent, but I didn't think much of it at the time.

  "Take him away!" Lian Chang somewhat disdainfully ordered a soldier beside him, then gave me a wink and walked to the side.

  I followed Lieutenant Colonel in a crouching run through the trenches, and when we reached a less crowded area, he turned around and said to me: "Take a good look at your soldiers. If there are a few more 'misfires' like this one, our troops will be done for!"

  "What?" I asked in some confusion: "The company commander means..."

  "That wound is too obvious!" Lian Zhang frowned and said: "One shot, two holes. The bullet entered from the left side of the leg and came out from the right side. There's also a bayonet hole above it. It must be that this guy first stabbed himself with a bayonet, saw that there was no problem and he could still fight, so he shot again..."

  "Self-inflicted injury?" Upon hearing this, I was taken aback.

  Even in the most difficult and frightening moments on the battlefield, I never thought of using this method to hurt myself. It seems that it's not that I didn't want to do so, but rather that I just didn't think of it. Now that I hear about it, I actually think it's a good idea, although it seems a bit too harsh...

  "Don't tell the other warriors about this, got it?" The company commander then added, "If word gets out, it's likely to alert the other warriors..."

  By the time I heard this, what I wanted to say is - Lian Chang has already given me a wake-up call. So of course I understand that if I tell this to the soldiers, not only will it have no effect, but it may also stir up a wave of self-inflicted harm.

  After a pause, Lian Chang continued: "This matter will naturally be handled by the disciplinary unit, and I hope they won't treat him as a deserter..."

  How should deserters be dealt with? Deserters are executed on the spot! I couldn't help but recall a phrase our instructor once said, "Those who flee in battle will be shot on the spot!"

  Thinking of this, I couldn't help but shudder, and that thought never dared to continue again.

  Back in our own camp, leaning against the trenches, we lamented the injustice of fate towards us.

  I think that in a situation where bullets are flying everywhere and people are dying all around, no one can blame us soldiers. Is it possible not to be afraid? These hearts of ours are made of flesh. We are constantly threatened with death at every moment, yet there is not the slightest benefit, but if we run away or get captured, we will face severe punishment and criticism from society...

  I'd like those who accused others of being deserters to come to this battlefield and see how long they can hold on, whether they'll be afraid, and whether they'll become deserters themselves.

  So I think that on this battlefield, being a deserter is a normal human reaction, and those who don't desert but persevere instead - they are the heroes!

  Right away I thought... Now that I'm a squad leader, the soldiers can guess what happened to Li Zhangwan even if I don't say anything. If I run away again... this unit will probably be finished, and we'll just have to wait for the devils to come and wipe us out.

  It wasn't until then that I abandoned the idea of becoming a deserter.

  Sometimes I still think it's really funny, not because I'm worried about the punishment from my superiors and gave up escaping, but for the troops, for my comrades... when did I start considering others?

  It's unclear whether the Viet Cong ran out of ammunition or were just too tired, but the artillery harassment from the North Vietnamese Army suddenly stopped for a rare moment. Plus, I hadn't had a wink of sleep all day, so even with mosquitoes buzzing and biting all around me, I couldn't help but drift off to dreamland... But before I could get much rest, someone came along and woke me up.

  "Company commanders... report to battalion headquarters for a meeting!"

  It was the voice of Comrade Little Liu, and I couldn't help but shout: "Our superiors must have colluded with the devils to think of every way to not let us soldiers rest!"

  I made a wry face and reluctantly dragged myself to the Lian Department, where Knife Scar and Liang Lianbing were already waiting.

  As soon as I sat down, the instructor hastily opened his mouth: "I just heard that... our troops have already shown signs of self-inflicted injuries! I think this is a very serious disciplinary problem. I think we should attach great importance to it and use the advanced nature of our party and the disciplinary nature of our revolutionary team to eliminate these problems in their infancy. Otherwise... our company will completely lose its centripetal force and combat effectiveness, and the consequences will be unthinkable..."

  Then there was a bunch of "pa" sounds, and I knew that this meeting was aimed at Li Changman. It can be imagined that Li Changman may have already been determined to be self-inflicted... As for what kind of punishment he would receive, it's not something I could know.

  "Ah..." The instructor paused for a moment and continued: "You are all platoon leaders of our company, you can say that you are the backbone of our troops. The party and superiors trust you, so they let you become platoon leaders. You must do a good job of ideological work for your own team, let them know the glory of fighting, know the shame of desertion..."

  However, I don't think the instructor's words will be of any use, because I'm very clear about what the warriors want - it's simply confidence and morale. If they don't believe that this battle can be won... or that it's not worth fighting, then they won't know why they're sacrificing themselves, and naturally, their confidence and morale will have no foundation.

  So I interrupted the instructor and asked a very direct question: "Why didn't our superiors send us reinforcements?"

  "I'm talking to Comrade Yang Xuefeng!" The instructor originally had opinions about me, and now that I interrupted him, he was even more furious: "The decisions made by our superiors naturally have their own reasons. As a soldier, the most important thing is to execute orders. As a squad leader, you should be even clearer on this point..."

  "Platoon leader, company commander!" In my heart, there was a lot of bitterness, so at this time, I didn't care about being rude or not, and immediately raised my head and said: "We soldiers are not afraid of death, what we fear is having no hope, no goal. We now don't know anything, neither do we know how to win this battle nor when it will end, to be honest...I have no way to stop the soldiers under me from becoming deserters!"

  "You..." The instructor's face turned pale with rage at my words and was about to lose his temper when he was stopped by Lian Zhang.

  "Second Lieutenant Chang also has a point." Captain Luo nodded and said, "Actually, we just found out about the battlefield situation and strategic objectives. Previously, our superiors didn't announce it due to secrecy, but now that the battle is underway... secrecy doesn't have much significance anymore. It can even be said that... the devils know more than us, which isn't fair for the soldiers!"

  Diao Cui and Liang Lianbing also nodded in agreement. What Commander Lian said was the truth, the battle had reached a white-hot degree, the Vietnamese army probably knew clearly about the strategic goals of their superiors, while their superiors were still keeping secrets from them, not letting them know anything, only knowing that they had to hold off the 316A division in front of them, hold off...

  We didn't even know if there were reinforcements or ammunition supplies, no doubt this made us feel like a chess piece, a disposable chess piece that could be abandoned at any time without the power to fight back.

  It's strange if there are no deserters in this situation, and doing any ideological work will be of no use!